Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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30 THE NASSAU HERALD. his boots, said, 'f Shine, sir 5 shine, it was natural for Dun- shee to have asked you whether that fellow was calling him names ? Wilbur never was great as a Psychologist, and when Jimmy asked him What school maintains the meta- physical origin of things ? Bombie answered, The Elastic school. Jimmy pardoned the error, but thought that he was stretching his memory a trifle too much. Some hold that your greatest attraction lies in your singing. Your voice might be compared to an organ which has plenty of wind, but no keys or stops. When you organized that Freshman Grlee Club, of which you made yourself leader, and paid the Brie-a-Brac bill for publishing the names of the members, you laid the foundation of your fame. The gentle muses, in the shape of bootjacks, pitchers, and similar movable articles, all gathered around your door when you began to sing. When you finished that pathetic ballad, Cleveland's Collar is Home Againf, the inundation that poured over your transom nearly drowned the words, which were much prettier than the notes. Bombie is also an acrobat, and his performances on the rope are deservedly renowned. The tradition of his mid- night descent, by means of a rope, from King Blades' room, after he had played his great joke on Blades and been locked in the room for his trouble, is present in the annals of Ed- wards Hall as the deed of a hero. Take this swan, emblematic of singing, but whose great- est beauty lies in the fact that it sings only when it is dying. Also this rope, with which you can try experiments. Tie one end to a limb. Put your head through the noose, sing softly, and swing off No flowers. That-will do. ' OUR DUDE. Speaking of attractive men leads us to think of the mod- ern improvement in the race of man-the dude. When it became known that a present was to be given to the dude, a

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THE NASSAU HERALD. 29 During his solitude, Brown commenced to read novels. Knowing Weir's taste he would follow him into the library and take out the book Pau-l had just returned. By pursuing this method he soon read all the works of Walt Whitman and kindred authors. Becoming tired of this, he began to read dime novels, asvthe following note will explain : Mn. J. W. BROWN, To ROPEUM AND THREENORTHEAST, Dr. To Thompson's Appetite, or What a Man Can Eat ..................... 10c To R. Smith's Conquest, or Love on the Canal . ..... ..................... 1 Oc To Blades, the Hunter, or He Never Hit. A tale without a hero.. 10c N. B.-If this bill is not paid in two Weeks it will be sent home. Take this crib, containing a sprig of ,Ivy. Nurse the shoot tenderly, and, when you get home, tell your friends of how, at last, you were ff taken in i' by Ivy. . . OUR ATTRACTIVE MAN. We next have Our attractive man, and a representative man' has taken this place 5 one who represents two great centers of the worldis knowledge-Hightstown and Ed- wards Hall. Bombie Wilbur alone could claim such distinction. Amble this way, Bombie. Keep your eyes iixed on the ground, as you have already broken too many hearts. If Gussie Smith were in your place, that warning would have been unnecessary, though he has been in as good society as any other man, and no girl can 'play horse' with him. Grussie coniined himself to breaking one heart this ownj, when a girl at the Hightstown ball said to him, I know your name is not Smith, as all the Smiths are handsome. Had she seen our Smiths? Probably not. Coming as you do from the large city of Hightstown, it is not surprising that Primitive Dunshee looked upon you as a man of the world, who could show him all the modern dodges. So, when a boot-black in New York, pointing to

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THE NASSAU HERALD. 31 great competition arose. Carter began to keep his hair brushed, and Samson Brann actually had his Gymff suit- washed. If the present was to have been awarded for improvement, these men would have stood a good chance. It takes but a short time for a dude to reach perfection, and ours is ripe, as it has been hanging on the Tree for several years. Will Persifor F. Gibson advance with the latest Philadephia walk. Is that it? How neat. Gibson notices every new fashion, and, when he sees anything peculiar, purchases it immediately for a new style. When Lynch burned that cravat which had served him faithfully so many seasons, we had an era from which to date all events, but Gibby is a regular lightning change man. He is as incon- sistent as Frank Speer was at Jimmy's reception, when he said, 4' Doctor, you must be older than any of the girls here to-night. Gibson's most formidable rival is Tree, but our dude maintains that though he is not quite so handsome as Arthur, he is just as fdogf O, vcmitas mmitatum Qby kind permission of Mr. Connerj. To what will not the audacity of men lead them ? As dog as Arthur Tree ? The balance-pan would have been as high on your side if you had compared yourself to Paul Scharil, but you would have had to move very fast to get .ahead of him, as Paul claims that he has always been ahead of time. Harris worships Macaulay, and' Molly Riggs worships cake, but Gibson worships-Gibson. A fortune could be made by buying Gibby at his real value, as compared with Chet Arthur as our standard of the most precious thing on earthj' and selling him at what he thinks he is Worth in terms of the same standard. Every hair on the top of Bob Parker's head is numbered, but if they were put end to end they would not reach around the figures at which our duden values himself. Though Gibson is something of a blood, he cannot be compared to Benjamin Bosworth Smith, who has the longest family tree on record. ' It runs in an un- broken line back to the Ark, where, unfortunately, it was