Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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THE NASSAU HERALD. 29 During his solitude, Brown commenced to read novels. Knowing Weir's taste he would follow him into the library and take out the book Pau-l had just returned. By pursuing this method he soon read all the works of Walt Whitman and kindred authors. Becoming tired of this, he began to read dime novels, asvthe following note will explain : Mn. J. W. BROWN, To ROPEUM AND THREENORTHEAST, Dr. To Thompson's Appetite, or What a Man Can Eat ..................... 10c To R. Smith's Conquest, or Love on the Canal . ..... ..................... 1 Oc To Blades, the Hunter, or He Never Hit. A tale without a hero.. 10c N. B.-If this bill is not paid in two Weeks it will be sent home. Take this crib, containing a sprig of ,Ivy. Nurse the shoot tenderly, and, when you get home, tell your friends of how, at last, you were ff taken in i' by Ivy. . . OUR ATTRACTIVE MAN. We next have Our attractive man, and a representative man' has taken this place 5 one who represents two great centers of the worldis knowledge-Hightstown and Ed- wards Hall. Bombie Wilbur alone could claim such distinction. Amble this way, Bombie. Keep your eyes iixed on the ground, as you have already broken too many hearts. If Gussie Smith were in your place, that warning would have been unnecessary, though he has been in as good society as any other man, and no girl can 'play horse' with him. Grussie coniined himself to breaking one heart this ownj, when a girl at the Hightstown ball said to him, I know your name is not Smith, as all the Smiths are handsome. Had she seen our Smiths? Probably not. Coming as you do from the large city of Hightstown, it is not surprising that Primitive Dunshee looked upon you as a man of the world, who could show him all the modern dodges. So, when a boot-black in New York, pointing to

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28 THE NASSAU HERALD. athlete, or that innocent-looking Putnam Cady would create disorder in Chapel? But man is very treacherous, and no faith should be put in him. P OUR IESTHETIC MAN. In order to be in keeping with the times we will first call on our aesthetic man, who, during four long years, has been sighing for a plant, but has been unable to obtain it. Oscar Wilde, in his love and admiration for the lily, has been totally eclipsed by J. Woods Brown, in his admiration and love for the Ivy. Come out, Brownie. ,When Brown arrived in Princeton, an innocent, meek- looking German lad from the 4' cross-roads in Pennsylvania, he did not display this far-away look, typical of a longing unfulfilled. When he saw the Ivy growing on the Old Chapel, and the whole scene such a complete change from coal fields and sauerkraut, he became enamored immediately and wanted to join anything that might be called Ivy. Now, it is easy to see why Brown liked Ivy on account of its color, but it is diflicult to tell why he should choose anything that clings so closely to churches. The explanation is that it is usually planted around his favorite part of the church--the door. Many months did you spend at the stepping stone, waiting for the summons that wouldhave been such sweet music to your ear. But it did not come. When the exam- ination for the Ivy Brotherhood was held, no transes could be obtained, and how could you have been expected to do your work without them? After your failure you stuck as close to the Ivy men as the Platonic Hugger Lawrence did to the girl he took sleigh-riding in Kansas. He hugged her through a ten-mile drive without at any time allowing the pressure to become less than five pounds to the square inch, but on their return she remarked, Why, Mr. Lawrence, you could not have taken any exercise while you were at college. Lawrence was crushed, but iwnsists that the girl was too.

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30 THE NASSAU HERALD. his boots, said, 'f Shine, sir 5 shine, it was natural for Dun- shee to have asked you whether that fellow was calling him names ? Wilbur never was great as a Psychologist, and when Jimmy asked him What school maintains the meta- physical origin of things ? Bombie answered, The Elastic school. Jimmy pardoned the error, but thought that he was stretching his memory a trifle too much. Some hold that your greatest attraction lies in your singing. Your voice might be compared to an organ which has plenty of wind, but no keys or stops. When you organized that Freshman Grlee Club, of which you made yourself leader, and paid the Brie-a-Brac bill for publishing the names of the members, you laid the foundation of your fame. The gentle muses, in the shape of bootjacks, pitchers, and similar movable articles, all gathered around your door when you began to sing. When you finished that pathetic ballad, Cleveland's Collar is Home Againf, the inundation that poured over your transom nearly drowned the words, which were much prettier than the notes. Bombie is also an acrobat, and his performances on the rope are deservedly renowned. The tradition of his mid- night descent, by means of a rope, from King Blades' room, after he had played his great joke on Blades and been locked in the room for his trouble, is present in the annals of Ed- wards Hall as the deed of a hero. Take this swan, emblematic of singing, but whose great- est beauty lies in the fact that it sings only when it is dying. Also this rope, with which you can try experiments. Tie one end to a limb. Put your head through the noose, sing softly, and swing off No flowers. That-will do. ' OUR DUDE. Speaking of attractive men leads us to think of the mod- ern improvement in the race of man-the dude. When it became known that a present was to be given to the dude, a