Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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. TH E NASSAU IIERALD. 27 you were not stuck so badly as Jack Shober, who told Young to get his longitude at sea by setting upva transit and watching for the planets. Your diploma, as I have it here, reads as follows : , OFFICE on so Guaranteed. THE Pnnnrns LHERARY BUREAU, Special disconntlto Athletes. MAY 19TH, 1882- This is to certify that Henry Stafford Terhune, of Cheesequake, has passed the necessary examinations and copied the requisite number of essays, as prescribed by the curriculum of this institution. T. PEEBLES, Prez. Take it, Harry, and success attend you. . Will Morgan Edgar step this way? You see, I love you well enough to call you Morgan. Take these, and give one to Taylor Bryan, to use the next time you interview a pole-kitten out for an airing. I And, Professor,just send up our SCIENTISTS. These are the Insatiate Orew : Asst. Prof., Bishop L. Wal- lace, and Jimmy Rafferty, B. B. I thought so-me of putting in here the Rev. Dr. Toler, who probably knows more about snakes than any other man in the class. He first discovered that snakes were the only mammals found in Australia, and not elsewhere. But, on the whole, his average is too low. Henry, you are our I-Iossteologist. I know you can't see anything funny in the simple act of getting up at five A. M. and gathering those bones from the cellar of the new Chapel. The only funny thing about it was, that after you had spent several hours in wiping them off clean, and spread them out in your room, it took Prof. Hill only about two seconds to say that they were the bones of an old work- horse. Just cast your educated eye over this, while I remark upon Leary. ' Leary has a smile like one of Jim Rafferty's overthrovvs. You think it is never going to stop. He elected Biology this year, according to the formula for Senior electives. Elected Osborn, because he had to. The very first day the class went in, Dr. Osborn requested Mr. Wallace to act as N

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26 THE NASSAU HERALD. Now, Mrl. Baker, and what do I hold ? Billy said that was mean in Brackett to tell Billy Magic to take Baker's head, if he wanted a perfect vacuum to perform the pendu- lum experiment in. At least Billy Magic told the Black Scudder so. He never was strong physically, and needs this box of condition powders. Senator Browne is the man who tried to work in palpita- tion of the heart as an excuse for absenting himself from our daily orisons, conducted at the Witching hour of 8.15. It hurried him so to, get up and take a clean shave after eight o'clock. But it vvouldn't Work so long as Bones is in loco. Being a good, steady man, Senator, I recommend you to attach these to your chin and apply for the position of Curator. They match your delicate ginger mustache very well, and will look as natural as Edgar in Flick's clothes. Bick will copper this brush for his beaver, which is prob- ably now over at Pete's. It will save 'the sleeve of his ulster, and will last a long time if he doesn't brush his hat indus- triously the wrong way, as he did the night aftervthe Yale game. t Darius, you will please poll down this B. B. Guide, and not go about asking if the short-stop plays behind the batter, and Who those men are on the corners. Your ignorance is as dense as George Day7s, who asked why that man was hollering '4 one, two, three, out. He even asked Johnnie Chetwood when to applaud. Ghimby, the Pessimist, will share this box of his favorite confections with Beef Williams. Technically, they are called Sour-balls. Harry Terhune, the Sage of Matawan, will now advance and grasp the sheep-skin While he has the opportunity. The Dip. I have for you is all in proper form, and is in English for your beneiit. The only slip you made in the final exam- inations, according to Prof Peebles, was in stating that the diameter of the earth was ninety-five million miles. At that rate it would be over a hundred thousand miles to Trenton, and you know you can make it in an hour, any day. But

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28 THE Nassau HERALD. ' demonstrator. Whereupon Mr. Wallace smiled one of his own capacious smiles, and straigbtway made himself useful by holding sponges, bringing warm Water, taking care of instruments, etc. His enthusiasm being aroused, Leary polled as he had never polled before. He must have spent two or three hours on the next recitation, and, when it came, flunked dead on the very first question. Since that he has had a hard year of it. Leary, here are some ofthe snaps you failed to get-H a sample of which I hold in my hand. Jimmy, I believe you take Biology also. When Osborn asked you to sketch the brain of a frog you gave him a tol- erably correct drawing of the under jaw. But your princi- pal claim to distinction is your vigorous handling of the English language. When the ,pitcher of the Philadelphias hit a batter the second or third time, it would have made Granny weep to hear you expostulate. The captain said it was unintentional, and everybody knew he didnit have no such record. You spoke right up and said you did n t know nothin about his record, and you didn't care nothin about it, but you werenit going to have no suchpitchin as that. From all accounts, I think you rather got the better of the professional gentleman in the forcible expression of opinion. Such are the advantages of an academic education. You arenit much in the artistic line, James, not much, You re- member hearing Prof. Weir lecture on Cimabue and Raphael. The next day you asked who that 'C Jimmy Radcliff was that the lecturer mentioned so much. And when Prof Norton gave the nine that reception up at Cambridge, a week or so ago, you suggested that it might be a good idea to ask him to repeat a little of the lecture on the Parthenieum. You ought to emulate the example of Bill Schenck, that lovely little back-stop. He took a P.G'r. to stuff birds, and this year succeeded in stufling two. Next year he will stuff one and graduate. Meanwhile, take these Lectures on the Art of Discourse which I have secured for you at great ex- pense, they contain several points with which you will do well to familiarize yourself. J