Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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. THE NASSAU HERALD. 25 tried to get half a dollar out of him. He got on well enough, however, until she asked his opinion of the theory of 'tunconscious mental cerebrationf' The celerity with which the subject was shifted to more familiar ground must have been a fearful .strain on the primary laws of associa- tion. The next thing he asked was whether she had seen Jumbo yet. Scrut will take this little book. The author he has doubtless met. He holds receptions frequently in the large room next the College oflices. I'll get Freddie Burt to Hx up an appendix on the relation of Psychology to the Pachydermata when he returns from the Expedition. Jeremiah, your motto is, '4 I should smile. We have watched your course with interest, because we feared Bones would be the death of you. Your temperament ,is entirely too mercurial for this vale of tears, so you will please take this, which contains one of Potteids famous Clla Pods, and commit suicide by reading it through rapidly. Phoebus wants that little pistol he exhibited up at Hobp- ken in Fresh. year. Any Yale man present may make themselves perfectly sate by turning the right cheek. Alf Mills got the bulge on the rest of us by coming on to College with a recommendation to Eckard P. Budd in his pocket. This accounts for his success. He is the disciple of Capt. Cuttle, and always makes a note, whether he Ends it or not. He will please take this, and note down the ,remainder of this lecture. 1 Jim, I suppose you still hanker for toughness. Take this package of cubebs and toughen yourself at your leisure. Following the example ofa prominent periodicalin the ease of Crillott's ad., the editors of the NASSAU HERALD have insert- ed just here an ad. of E. O. Thompson. This style, half a dol- lar. Jack, you will find the latest styles fully exhibited in this. Walter, dear, you are growing, growing old. Your raven locks are getting grey, and I don't wonder, after the terrible experiences of Fresh. year. I have a new style of French crib for you-warranted to get there every time. t'Pud Fine will explain it to you.

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24 THE NASSAU HERALD. - Then, too, you like to be mysterious. No one could ever see why you used to comb your hair as Nance I-Iallock does, unless you were writing poetry. Then for several days at a time you would walk the streets, speaking to no one, ex- cept to borrow a cigarette in an absent sort of a way. Your managementof the finances of the Lit. was not as success- ful as that of the Lit. supper, though you couldn't get Mr. Martinelli to leave the dress suits of the waiters for your benefit, and Mr. Sturtevant wouldntt let you have the night-key. ' But the crowning mystery of all was your great, un- spoken Chapel stage on The Fair Crod's Return. Who the said Fair God was, or why or when he was to return, no one could ever find out. I have solved the mystery, however, and I think you'll find he will return as often as you press this spring. In view ofthe slight benefit certain members of the Class have derived from their course, the Faculty has kindly voted them drawbacks on the fee for diplomas. These have been appropriated, as is usual in such cases, by the Treasurer to the purchase of I A FEW SUITABLE PRESENTS, which I shall now distribute. They are for Scrute Ruther- furd, Jeremiah Clinton Cromer, Phoebus Hemphill, Alf Mills, .Ieems Monroe Banister, E. Ross Jackman, Billy Baker, Walter Acker, Senator Cr. D. Browne, Abe S. Bick- ham, Darius Greene, and Burt Chamberlin. It will be seen from the mixed character of this assemblage, that in award- ing these honors no regard whatever has been had to moral character or family connections. Scrute, I suppose, hasn't forgotten the oral he had with the intellectual Princeton damsel down at a reception of the stalwart Greek Electives. He felt more than ever like answering 'C not prepared, especially when she struck ethics and psychology. She might as well have

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26 THE NASSAU HERALD. Now, Mrl. Baker, and what do I hold ? Billy said that was mean in Brackett to tell Billy Magic to take Baker's head, if he wanted a perfect vacuum to perform the pendu- lum experiment in. At least Billy Magic told the Black Scudder so. He never was strong physically, and needs this box of condition powders. Senator Browne is the man who tried to work in palpita- tion of the heart as an excuse for absenting himself from our daily orisons, conducted at the Witching hour of 8.15. It hurried him so to, get up and take a clean shave after eight o'clock. But it vvouldn't Work so long as Bones is in loco. Being a good, steady man, Senator, I recommend you to attach these to your chin and apply for the position of Curator. They match your delicate ginger mustache very well, and will look as natural as Edgar in Flick's clothes. Bick will copper this brush for his beaver, which is prob- ably now over at Pete's. It will save 'the sleeve of his ulster, and will last a long time if he doesn't brush his hat indus- triously the wrong way, as he did the night aftervthe Yale game. t Darius, you will please poll down this B. B. Guide, and not go about asking if the short-stop plays behind the batter, and Who those men are on the corners. Your ignorance is as dense as George Day7s, who asked why that man was hollering '4 one, two, three, out. He even asked Johnnie Chetwood when to applaud. Ghimby, the Pessimist, will share this box of his favorite confections with Beef Williams. Technically, they are called Sour-balls. Harry Terhune, the Sage of Matawan, will now advance and grasp the sheep-skin While he has the opportunity. The Dip. I have for you is all in proper form, and is in English for your beneiit. The only slip you made in the final exam- inations, according to Prof Peebles, was in stating that the diameter of the earth was ninety-five million miles. At that rate it would be over a hundred thousand miles to Trenton, and you know you can make it in an hour, any day. But