Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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18 THE NASSAU HERALD. . cent for this world. I suppose that call of yours on Prof Orris was actuated by the best of motives, but some of the questions you asked were in very bad form. You knew, for instance, that only people with very strong breath use chloride of lime internally. And, as for the Pro- fessor's having a wrestling match with Matt Goldie, you should have known that there is no such thing as the Greece- Scotch style of wrestling. Modesty should have prevented you from interrogating the Professor as to the style of dress in which he took his exercise, and he was quite right in giving a non-conimittal answer. ' - Your answer to the ILIERALD questions were quite satisfac- tory, excepting that as to your expenditure. You should have stated that it was 3700 for this year, if billiards were included, 351,000 Your failing is obvious, and I hope you will use this safe remedy for it. This is Mother Sherwood, from Saratoga. The venerable dame is quite active for her age, and on any clear day may be seen taking her youngest hopeful, Master Chopin Beetho- ven Mozart Harris, out for a wa-lk. She's not talkative, but tor elegant latinity, when .she does remark, cannot be sur- passed. It has long been noticed that in conversation, which is an etlbrt to her, Mother invariably swallows the short words and spits out the long ones. I have noticed that her back hair is somewhat refractory, and have pro- cured a comb for it. . Miss Polly Hallock, the next object of scrutiny, is the sweet singer of Steubenville. She occupies the front seat in the synagogue, and sings by ear and main strength. For social standing, not even that gay butterfly, Ward Cheney Peabody, can surpass her. Polly, you shouldn't have allowed your circle of acquaintance to grow so large. You should have narrowed it down, as Nance has done. Then, too, you have taken advantage of your sex, in a way that cannot be defended. After meeting several young ladies at Jininiie's reception, you thought it the proper thing to call on thern. And of course, after calling once, you were

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A THE NASSA U HERALD. 17 Sherwood will take the grand stand here -on' the right. Our standing-room has been engaged by the Sister Quar- tette. As Leary has probably found out by this time, there are just four of them. I take pleasure in introducing Miss Polly Hallock, Miss Bridget Flick, Miss Sallie Larkin and Miss P. Ranney. f Pop is getting pale, so I hasten to remark that he started out as a candidate for the Seminary, but early succumbed to the world, the Hesh, and Judas Rowe. Pop is a hard student and the proprietor of a full line of transes. He generally succeeds in getting them to ap degree of tineness said to be microscopic, without in the least impairing their legibiiity. He and Fatty Reiber are so industrious that they have frequently been known to write out papers on science and religion several days in advance. Their method of procedure is more scientific than religious, but it does yank the tall grade. Pop, your frugality is even more worthy of notice than your immorality. The tenacity with which you have clung to that one little necktie' all through your course, has won the admiration of your classmates. You have remained with it like B. Harris with his ulster, or Dave Magie with a condition. You are going from us now, Pop, and we wish you to wear this out into the wide, wide, as a token of our esteem. If you find it too wide you can trim it down, as you used to do with the trans leaf, you know. ' Miss Doland is our blushing co-ed. from Oberlin. You may now retire, Dolly, and chew the bitter gum of reflec- tion. Here's a whole box of it for you. If Bish Wallace will throw out that quid of tobacco you may share it with him. Dad, I called you up some time ago in order to have you here on time. You-are everything but a sooner. You are the proprietor of the largest heart and the most elastic con- science in Princeton, outside the Faculty. You may be counted on to reform just about once a term, and stay so while you are telling about it. You are entirely too inno-

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THE NASSAU HERALD. 19 bound not to cut them dead. But you shouldn't have given the scheme away to Charlie Darlington, as you did, when you told him that Dr. Schanck's was a good place to be acquainted at, and as you had made a New Year's call there, you guessed you'd go again. You have a good voice, Polly, and certainly tried hard ,to get on the Grlee Club, but Dwight was jealous of you. In recognition, however, of your valuable musical services in the Chapel, the Faculty have voted you this collection of sacred music. Please retire, and sing yourself dead away. Welcome Joseph Lyddon Flick, otherwise known as Bridget, who has probably been posing before you all this time, is from Willcesbarre. She made her debut, singing Over the Garden Wall,'J at Pennington Fem. Sem. Her next appearance was on the platform in Trenton, in com- pany with another young lady. She was enthusiastically received by an elderly gentleman, attired in a number nine boot and a heavy cane. She now holds the responsible position of Business Editor, euphonious for advertising agent, of Tom Clarke's Tiger. We1'e it not immodest, I should like to call ,attention to that portion of the lady's anatomy which is said to be a perfect poem. Even Jim Banister can hardly rival Bridget's magnificent calf. You've led a useful life here in college, Bridget, and, like others of the same name, have cheerfully done a great dealjof dirty work for the class. Take this, to enable you to keep till the triennial. Sister Ranney was kept on the quartette for the same' reason that Rankie was kept on The Princetonicm.-she can't do any harm. Miss R. wo-uld have enjoyed her course, had she known just when to expect a Trustees' meeting. On account of the uncertainty attaching to this event, she has been known to stay away from the billiard hall whole days ata time. Pen, you will please take this, and tune it up in unison with Polly's fog-horn. Miss Sallie Larkin, of Sing Sing, has risen from the dead- level of mediocrity to be the first base of our organization, and