Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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THE NASSA U HERJILD. 31 ulstersg ' and when the rats ate that ulster, it broke Stanley's heart. Eli has never changed in the least. VV ill not you two gladden our hearts on this great day by being friendly again and kissing each other, or at least by shaking hands. At any rate, Stanley, take this volume entitled U How to' get Strong -not too strong, but just strong enough to play first base on the Uni- versity Nine. And, Eli, although I know 'you're anxious to tell us of Moriartyis ghost that goes 't Oi, Ai, Ouf' But we' ve heard of' it a couple dozen times 5 we know it by heart, and it's as long, though not as pointed,'as 'Linn's ears. Take these new joke books, and this which I trustpneeds no explanation. Now, Cavin here, is ravishingly comic at all times-chiefly at examination times. His jokes are of a practical sort. His kindly humor comes sometimes from his coat-pocket, and some- times from his sleeve-in either case, equally enjoyable. Since he has been in college, he . hasn' t had a fair chance to show just what a man of his genius can do. He is a master in his art, and has a great crowd of imitators. He is a model, his wit is simple, delicately finished, never personal. VV hy, he would not for an instant think of comparing the head of any member of the Faculty with the top of a full-grown cabbage plant, nor would he ask 'Blee to explain his Here and There. 'And 'on Wednesday he will no doubt get his reward, a dip., a trophy of his skill and power as a genuine humorist 5- to-day he will get these. QCrib, with atty's astronomical cuffs, dtcj Now, my dear classmates, to you and this patient aunience, I give my last gif't+a long-needed-Rest.

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30 5 THE Nassa U HERALD. is there any record of it. Yet I don' t think there's much foun- dation for the story that Billy was born in the first geological ages5 that he used to heave chunks of Silurian rocks and bits of Devonian sandstone at the first reptiles 5 pitched pennies with the Cave-dwellers5 and when the coal deposits of Pennsylvania were being made, he was there making himself generally useful, boosting the megatheriums up apple trees, to keep them out of harm, s way, and still allow them to enjoy the performance5 that he played foot-ball with the plesiosaurs against a picked team of trilobites, echinoderins and salamandroids 5 that he sold the game for a twelve-dollar office to a big gasterpod, who was trying for the third time toget in a clam-shell I that did not fit him 5 and that the Billy which we now see is but the dried-up stalk or sawed-oif stump of some primeval, giant. Caddy Vinton started that story, and it sounds just like his old hermit. yarns- I don, t believe a word of it. Billy, fill out this birth-certificate. Billyis not old: he's young and tender 5 not half as tough as Smike Johnson. Yet if you're afraid to risk eating Billy, take any of the other fellows, Paton, Scribner, any of them 5 but please spare me our three I t I FUNNY MEN, 5 Cnr wits, Stanley, Vlforl, and Cavin, and send them up 5 I have something nice for them. I don' t remember where I ever saw three more intelligent faces. I hardly ought to have called Stanley with this crowd, for heis only witty when not hungry, and always hungry 5 but I knew he, d like to come along with Eli. They were once such close friends 5 listened to each other, s oft-told, ,long-winded, rambling yarns and ancient, pointless jokes 5 visited' each other, and, I'm sorry to say, some of us, at all hours of the night, and never knew when to go 5 and when shipped in Soph. year, they lived together in Philadelphia for a whole month-water-crackers twice a day, and pick your teeth in front of the Continental. Then jealousy arose 5 each grew envious of the other's growing reputation as a wit5 they quar- reled. Stanley took a new departnre5 became tone 3 3' hong-lit an ulster because, as he told the tailor, 4' all toney tellows wbre

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32 t THE NASSA U IIERALD. CLASS PRQPHECY. BY GEORGE SIBLEY JOHNS, MO., ' .............. l The last pages of the book containing the collegiate record of 780 are fast filling, and soon the volume will be closed and sealed and put on file, along with their grades and absences and sensa- tional pictures, in the Police News ,' but another- huge tome lies ready to open, whose pages, untouched by human hands, are white as the driven snow, with names written at regular inter- vals, which are the names of the Class of 80,-over the space allotted to each in the great book of life, and the book was given to your prophet to open, and as he looked, there seemed to be an unseen hand tracing out lines and characters invisible to all else 3 but to him it was given to read and interpret the writing which was written thereon, and to catch glimpses of the men whom the writing concerned, and behold, he lifted up his eyes and saw a throng of young men, theresidue of a multitude, many of whom had fallen aweary by the -wayside, but the stronger and more for- tunate among them, throughtmany trials, much tribulation, suf- fering, temptation of the evil one, cutting and hard conditions, had fought the good iight and obtained their N dips, their work being' pronounced good, and the throng scattered to the four winds, with faces set forward, bearing in their right hands parch- ments, many of them singing, dancing, making merry, and hug- ging their parchments as if they were of ,exceeding great value, and winking knowingly to themselves, for to some the iight had been grievous, and the parchment was all they possessed, and a very few went apart and wept bitterly, for they ha.d been shnrn of their feathers. Your prophet looked beyond a.nd still beyond , and ever and anon in the vast crowd of intent, upturned faces