Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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'28 a 'THE NASSA U HERALD. that time, all those fellows had mustaches as scraggy as Linn's ever was. Vlfiggan, take this mirror, and in it contem- late our loveliness. . Y , Of course after our handsome man should come the great 7 l sooinfrv MAN, y L Looney Perrine 5 but he' ll not come, all the same. His spare time for the next couple of years is engaged, if you take his word for it. The sight of his magnificence would be too overpowering. Let us drop gently upon Loomis, a' dizzy swell, whose ambition is to wear as many different kinds of clothes in a ,day as J im Lanier does. He is a fine talker 5 invariably greets his friends with fc-Wh61'6 was you?,' criticises his lady friends in such phrases as, 4' She dances good 5 She sings bad, cite. Yet he is very fond of the ladies, and has taken all of them under his protection. VVhy, on dark nights, after most people have gone tobed, he always patrols the streets. , He has 'a regular beat extending down Witherspoon street, back again, then down Nassau as .far as the Defiance ball ground, then .down the road leading to the canal 5 in fact he is a regular - ' NIGHT VVATCHMAN, ' V who cares for stray travelers, and this dark lantern will be very useful to him. L L ' . Tn a class so full of great men, ,you will not be surprised to ind that we have several members of the A V y .4 NOBILITY. - There's Duke De Lanier, whose magnificent repose T will not -disturb. There's Count Hamilton, a man of low tastes-so vulgar as to wear knickerbockers and play lawn-tennis-who'll take these alleviated railway 'bonds and this life-p1'eSQ1-W1-7 in case he thinks of 'taking another trip by boat to New Haven. Dick Page, the Duke of Buckingham. ' This 11ODlQl1l1l.ll,S title is not 'very old--dates only, T believe, from last Tlianksgiviug .night--the night after the Yale game. His coat-of-arnis is

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THE Nfissa U HERA LD. 27 should be gently criticised. The poet never felt like iinishing that piece, and wisely 5 for he reflected : Suppose Horton should end a. line 3 why, in English, but two words will rhyme with it. The one is 'snortin7,' the other ' cavortin'.' His muse had no use for that kind of language. I see you don't think the epic is WVm.'s strong point. How does this cold-blooded little lyric of his strike you, on an every-day occurrence in Princeton ? Entitled VVIGGAN. I I Oh, the wide-mouthed Wiggan has gone down to the club, The street was quite filled by his elegant tub, Then houses on both sides got many a rub, ' As the lovely Wiggan tore down for his grub. He stayed not for snob, and he stopped not for snab g He knew they'd have cakes, and he wanted first grab. And he said, with a grin and a wink of his eye, 'How, before the rest come, I will lay in tl1e pie I' And save his stout jaw-bone he weapon l1ad none: He went not unarmed, but he went not alone. Jim Kinney was with him, the tried and the true Jack Leal, Joe Oreech, and Dickey Page, too, - ' And so with a whoop and a grunt and a roar, This lovely old crowd rushed in the club-door. You see Wm.'s How of language is strong, but his knowledge of metre and English grammar is limited,as witness this little unfettered verse on .I IM ANDERSON. J im Anderson, my J im Jow, 'When We were first acquaint, You were as big as you are now, But that ain't saying much, by George, it ain't. That will do for you, Williain. Accept this copy of Mother Goose's Melodies, and instead of the usual laurel crown, this package of Lorillard. Now- you' ve all had a good look at Wiggan, don' t you think the postmaster was right in giving to Wiggan the circular addressed by Eli Perkins to the ' HANDSOMEST MAN IN COLLEGE I know that Ewing, Sam Hamill, and 'fIrv. WVithington felt very bad about it 5 but I agree with the postmaster, for, at

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5 THE NASSA U HERALD. 29 rampant roaring lion, seeking what he may devour. He got his title from a place not a thousand miles away from New York City. That night -the Duke had on his War-paint and feathers 5 and, presuming that helll be on the War-path again to- night, I got 'him these. I Howard Bratton is the next. This delicate-featured female is, .as most of you have surmised, 'Her Majesty, the Queen of the Cannibal ,Islands Jersey, get the old .lady a chair 5 'give her- this fan and smelling-bottle, and let her sit down While We get her some more things. I hopenone of you fellows in the front seats Will try to make af' mash U on her Majesty5 but I can't trust any of you,,eXcept Schirmer, Who, since his little episode With Duncan, has been very shy of K mashesf' 5 For your Majesty I have a dainty little gift 5 in fact, three bona fide live missionaries! You don't believe me ? Then I'll show them to- you. 'Will MacGarvey, please get up on a piece of paper and see that Leal, Cliphant, and Billy Miller are sent out here. Here they are, all Warranted' fresh: a feast fit for the gods lf' Take ' em. Youid better eat Cliphant as soon as you get home 5 he'll make a nice meal for a quiet little, tea-party of four or five. You heathens ought to hate him, for oh l but he does hate you- sends you Greek Testaments, Truth-Seeker, tracts, and all such things, to Worry you 5 amuse yourself with these. Before- you make Way With Jack Leal, let him get off the ffManiac. ' He does it up in more style when he-has this dressing-gown on. I Would ask Jack to favor 'us with it now, but there is no lounge here for Butch to.craWl under again 5 and Cow Warren, too, might get scared, run over to his room, shut his door, pull his bed up against it, and act as' he did when the burglar Was in the N Nassau. J ack will make you a fine homjoininy,j pie --and you're quite fond of that. He Won, t taste of bad tobacco and Whiskey, like Cliphant or Gregory, the man who takes chemistry and fusil oil. And Billy, there 5 Won' t he make a splendid strictly orthodox, A No. 1 veal pie! Feel his ribs. And right here I'd like to correct a general impression that exists in college in regard to Billy Miller's age. ,T is true no one remembers his birth5 nor- 0