Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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16 THE NASSA U HERALD. asking, Do you smoke ?7' ln nineteen out of twenty well-auf thenticated cases an affirmative answer is given, and the victim joyfully reaches for the weed. But Butch puts it in his pocket, and blandly remarks, H Ah I so does Mike Dunn? This report was rejected unanimously because of the originality of the spell- ing, which showed plainly that Dick Conover had been called in to assist the committee, and then, too, it was thought that to ap- preciate Butch' s sells,lrequired a more intimate acquaintance with him than was hoped any of our visitors hadj 5 At this stage of the game, the Faculty being on the 'C in loco parenifis '7 racket again, came to our relief, and furnished a great many suggestions, ---T think, they called them-and plans, and all that sort of gratis entertainment, for which we can never be too grateful. A few instances of their kindness may, perhaps, not be out of place here. For example, one of them QI don't believe any of you can guess his namuelthought we ought, per- haps, to have one joke, to be gotten off in sections, each speaker doing a fair share of the work. He even offered as a splendid joke of his, one that belonged to his professorship. His prede- cessor had used it. He himself had used it, with fearful eH'ect', upon thirty-tive classes, and it was good for thirty-tive more. Why, it had never been known to fail. In fact, it was about the dizaiest joke he had ever heard. That settled it. VVe eX- plained that very likely' the Lynde Debaters-Pussy Parkhill, J im Galbraith and that crowd-a few of the Glee Club, and some stray' members of '81 would be present, and on their account it Wouldn7t be rightto have anything so violently exciting. Another Professor offered us stacks of poetry: all about the still, sad music of lhumanityf ' He thought it would add greatly to the general effect if we would refer to that topic about every three minutes.. Then the Professor of Pumps, Plank-walks and Pinnacles brought a tin bucketful of art lectures, which he assured us, whether read from the beginning to the end, or from the end to the beginning, or from the middle in both direct-ions at once, were equally interesting and instructive. And then he wandered away to his pleasant task of running barbed wires across our favorite short-cuts, and sprinkling coal ashes over ll l l l 1 I l i 4Anf.,..,... M., ,M ,...a........, l....-...--- e-ina 'gm -,N ,.,,,nf-'funn-i4llb-win-'

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ZHE' NASSA U HERALD. 15 PRESENTATION ORATIQN. BY JOHN BARCLAY KEENAN, PA. i-9.1 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 5--Since our historian has so kindly explained a11d so fully illustrated the workings of the new regu- lations in regard to Class Day exercises, it remains for-me to add but a few words on that subject, and those words shall be, prin- cipally, words of deep gratitude.f In former days historians, prophets, even presentation orators, had actually indulged in per- sonalities, and one or two of them-bold, bad young men-ehad, in -a ghastly way, attempted afew mild jokes. Cf' course, the Class of' '80, with the consent of the Faculty, resolved to put a stop to such disgraceful proceedings. Then the question arose, What, sort of exercises should we have? Should Eli be allowed to tell the story of the 'Democratic Congressman and his remark- able stock of clothes? Should Cress and Cully relate their boating experience? Should Sheldon make a few simple remarks upon the Deanthropomorphization of' the Individual- istic Ego ? 'Cr should Paden repeat his criticism of the life, character, works and end of the late lamented Judas, with direct application to the cases of Messrs, Davidson, Hardin and Stud- diford? These, and many other schemes, were proposed and referred by the -class to a committee composed of Crist Blair, that massive intellect that decides all disputed questions in the College of' New Jersey. He, after due deliberation, took unto himself two other equally massive intellects, viz., Butch Bryan and Jim, the great weather prophet and apple vendor. They reported in writing-strange, but true,-against the other plans, and recommended that instead Butch Bryan ought to get off' his famous sell, in which, you know, he offers some one a cigar,

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THE NASSA U .HERALD 17 the paths. However, we took his word for it, as we had once before taken that of an old gentleman, who told us in strictest confidence, that i He was a wandering sheep, he did not love the fo-ld. 4 , Out of the materials thus kindly furnished the addresses of to- day have been manufactured. Then, too, as was suggested,'the speeches' have been submitted to the inspection of the Faculty and the Class Day Committee. Why, even Devereux looked through them, managed to spell out some of the little words, and I fear his hands were then about as clean as usual. - But I amafraid our overwhelming gratitude is carrying us too far away from the real business of this day. Let me but add,ithat I hope you will appreciate the high morality of all these pro- ductions, for they contain not a trace of agnosticism, pantheism, heresy or popery. Personalities, offensive and defensive, have been carefully excluded. And as for the vulgarity over which the Faculty went so wild, I assure youis confined entirely to J im McC'onkey's speech, and Bliss' 'Class Ode. r Now let us turn our whole attention 'to that remarkable group of young men who to-day are gathered to receive the rewards of four years' hard smoking, steady-floating, careful shenannygag- ging and other accomplishments, that will appear as we proceed. They are known to the New York reporters as the demons -of ?8O, called so from a certain playfulness exhibited by them in earlier life, especially in Sophomore year. A little more than half the demons graduate this year, a few will get diplomas next year, and the rest-but was it not honor enough for them to have belonged to '8O? These demons pride themselves chiefly upon their skill in athletics, and they have quite a' number of athletes of all shapes and sizes, ranging from the gigantic J or- dan, -the hammer-tlirower, down to the diminutive Brotherlin, the double trapeze and feather-weight man, including, of course, Tewksbury, the pegfpole climber, Duncan at dancing school, where the Freshman would tramp his toes, Bill Schenck, behind the ,home-plate, and Stanley before -a dinner-plate, and most of all, the great Jim Anderson, in his unrivaled performances upon, . A B