Princeton Day School - Link Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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The Return lt' s a queer matter: retirning to a place which one has loved very much 1-:hen a child. The build- ings, which once seemed so large, are now quite small, and various changes have overtaken the land- scape. But if one is fortunate, the feehng of die toinrn is the same. M Catherine :Talked softly along the narrow streets, she nu-as surprised by the constancy of her emoiions. She recalled hovr, at the age of sbt, she had first come to Ludlow. They had taken a train to Gloucester. Then the Whole family had piled into a shining car, hired from the local garage, and they had driven the rest of the rray. The car had H-round dorrn the steep road betr-:een tall rocky banks covered rrith green fern and rnoisture, next the bridge vrith its queer, orderly parapets for the fisher- man was crossed over, and the car was racing up the steep hill into torn. About hah way up Broad Street the car had slovred to enter a narrow: tunnel passing through a tall, purplish house of undeterinined age, which had not allowed modern traffic to coinpletely divorce one side of dxe Street from the other. The last thing she remembered of that swift, bewildering journey H-:as the clear sound of church bells as they rang the call to Evensong. Today she felt the same thrill of excitement and adventure, the same eager anticipation and rejoic- ing, which she had experienced long ago. The fa- miliar roofs and housefronts, the soft country voices and the smell emanating from the tom-n's best bakery still comforted her. The old antique shop hidden away behind me Butter-cross kept on displaying its firmly polished mahogany chairs and cabinets, the price tags discreetly hanging dorrn to one side. Even die silky cats sitting in its VfEdO3'-'S seemed the same. She should have gone in, but she had not and won- dered about the dour rrest country dealer who had sold her trio regency sideboards carved with snarling lions for trio- thirds of their true price. lfslhen they were delivered she had opened the top right hand draa-:er and had discovered a fruits-:ood apple, beau- tifully carved, which had never been there before. An apple is a lover's gift, Catherine remembered her Catullus and Usying to dismiss the slender, dignified phantom from her mind, she turned her thoughts res- olutely to the Buttercross. Set firrnly onto its round, sturdy pillars in the exact center of the old town, it did not vary, but stood like a self- assured break- 1-fater against the onrush of the tide. Catherine Walked on steadily under the early morning sun, fully alive to the implacable hoofs of Helic' s Well-trained mounts beating out the minutes in her brain. Yet she let the time slip by, her mind filled with ful-bodied images which passed across her her memory' in a sedate and lengthy liturgical pro- cession. She could not nop them herself, but as she 'turned a comer Catharine halted abruptly. A famil- iar scene arose before her eyes and she turned quick- ly to me left, up a narrow alley, reeking of stale mill-1 and die heady, penetrating flavor of roasting hops. There was an oasthouse nearby, she remem- bered. She broke into a run, Seeing from the over- porrering smell. She had always hated it and even nor: she vias afraid. That was silly but she was a goose, and geese are always silly. Someone had told her that long ago, but Catharine did not wish to re- member rrho . The soft coo-cu-roo of a grey pigeon hopping near her feet recalled her vanished senses and she realized she was in the old church- yard. She Went over to a dilapidated wooden bench and read the following inscription: This bench was place here by Hlilliam Boggs Esq in the year of our Lord, 1902, in memory of his be- loved rrife, Anna lxiaria Boggs. 'Vie brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry noth- ing out. The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken array: blessed be the name of the Lord' . Perhaps lvilliam had loved his Wife, but she doubted it and sat down. The cool wind sang softly to itself in the ancient ash trees and Catharine rested, pushing the past into desolate caverns and crannies and cracks of her mind. The old church comforted her. The strong, supple Gothic tower reaching and stretching its delicate parapets to the heavens made some tiny bird inside herself begin to sing and her mind tried to imagine die lives of those who had built it. She seemed to see them working and toiling, as if through a glass darkly, expecting at any moment to see her mirror crack from side to side and their lives fully revealed for her closer in- spection. The singing stopped, me mirror faded into grey mist and her eyes roved on, noting the sturdy Korman trunk of the church and the convoluted Vic- torian limbs, which had been added on here and there for no apparent reason. The pervading peace of the parish garden flowed over and around her like a slow, determined river ggntly encroaching on a tiny island in midstream. atharine abandoned her- self to the firmly rising waters and as the tip of the land sank beneath the calm surface of the stream she felt herself to be at rest. All the incidents of her life passed before her eyes, like a long line of tropical fish swirnming in- exorably through a mbe- shaped aquarium. Unvrit- tmgly, she recalled the moment of bewilderrnent, doubt, hesitation, unreasoning cruelty, hatred and bitterness in which she had chosen wrongly. Catharine wanted so desperately to think she had been success- ful in America, but she knew this was not true. Un- der the bright glare of a foreign sunshine she had withered and coarsened. The anguish of her irst ar- rival and the continual torture of her daily existence was some hideous black tunnel from which she had escaped only for a ferr minutes. There, Catharine thought, she was some ancient munnny, tied and bound in the Winding cloths and ropes of an alien environment. For a second, she resolved to stay in Ludlowg it would be easy, really. She would simply tell jake that she was not coming back, and that would be that. The moment passed, and Catharine lcnev: she could not do it. It was not possible to break her 'word and then to enjoy Ludlow. The very values which aroused passionate devotion to the ancient