Presbyterian St Lukes Hospital School of Nursing - Alpha Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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Instructor — What do you know about cells? Nurse — Not very much, Doctor, I ' ve only been in two. Jane Pope (to clerk at Wilson ' s) — Is Mr. Wilson in? Clerk — No, he ' s just gone out for lunch. Jane — Will he be in after lunch? Clerk — No, that ' s what he went out for. , We wonder why Phil Miller has an affinity for Helen Gelten- bort. HERE— A WHIFF— A In the City of Chicago, Near the waters of Lake Michigan — In the building called the Pullman — Is the Russian Tea Room. Here repair the female smokers, ' ' Here repair the male tea drinkers, And the older generation frown and murmur, Bolshevicks ! Bohemians ! Dr. Brerton — Do y ou feel these lumps — enlarged glands — Miss Dunlap? Grace D.— Y-e-s, S-i-r. Dr. B. — Good for you. It ' s more than I can feel. I wonder what was said over at the Sr. ' A ' table. Look at Myra K. blush. Julia Flaathen (while home on a vacation) — Why, listen here, the whole city of Chicago is sick. Mrs. Flaathen— You don ' t mean it? Who told you? Julia — Why, look here, Chicago, 111. IN ANATOMY CLASS Dr. Miller— Give the foetal circulation. Mary Hutt— Why, it starts in the feet. Lend me a collar — I ' ve none to wear. I can ' t wear a low one, for my neck is bare. The high one covers my mole in back, so let me wear it and clear the track. Exit — Grace down the corridor. Life ' s three mysteries — Wine, Women and Hash. THINGS WE HAVE SEEN IN ORDER BOOKS Dr. Shelly — Hypodermoclysis per rectum. Dr. Friedell — Belladonna ointment per os. Dr. Farnum — Hot dressings to lab. q. 3 hrs. Same Author — Physical exam reveals a female. Interne (giving orders) — Put this patient up in Fowler ' s solution at once. THINGS WE HAVE SEEN IN NURSES ' RECORDS Ruth Westerman (in charting for infants in the nursery) — Ale. back rub. Made comf. for noc. Has been up in wh. ch. for 1 2 hr. K. Miller — Exterior exam by Dr. Culbertson. Sue Laibe — Babe app. circumcized by Rabbi. K. Miller — Pt. vomited sanguineus emesis due to pt. having eaten tomatoes for supper. Unknown Authors — Babe to bust q. 3 hrs. A. M. Spec, to labor. ]

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Lor ' no, not with what I hed on. I wuz more hkely to hev a chill. He asked me if I was a drinkin ' man and I told him no, but I smoked consid ' able an ' showed him my pipe. Thet guy wuz a inturn. They wuz a young feller worked round the ward consid ' able. Wore a big white apern. They sure is addicted to wearin ' white there. He wuz a orderly an ' kep ' order in the ward. They only gave me a Httle soup an ' sech fer supper cuz my rheumatiz wuz reel bad. I tuk the bowl an ' drunk it in slow while it wuz hot. I cud see by the smiles on the nusses ' faces they wuz glad I enjoyed it. Thet night I ' lowed to smoke a bit before sleepin ' , so I lit up. Soon cum a nuss an ' sed, cross like, ' You can ' t smoke in here. ' ' Why? ' sez I, calm. ' It ' s agin the rooles, ' she sed. I sed sumthin ' under my breth about the rooles an ' put up my pipe. My feelin ' s wuz hurt, but I wan ' t layin ' to make trubble an ' wuz awful careful whut I did an ' sed on account of it goin ' down in hist ' ry. Once upon a midnight, dreary, under ether, weak and weary, To an operating table grim my senseless hulk they bore; Suddenly there came a ripping, as of one with scissors snipping, Scissors gently, swiftly snipping up my stomach floor; Doctor Beard, and maybe more. Aye, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, And each instrument and weapon thirsted for my ruby gore; Then so closely did they shave me, and with antiseptic lave me, And the blackest pills they gave me, till I raved depraved, and swore; By the lift they slowly raised me to the operating floor. Shoved me in, and closed the door! Then they cut and gouged and hashed me, and they carved and chopped and slashed me, Till they found it, tore it from me, my appendix. Lost Lenore. Doctor, yelled I, Pritha tell me, to this cry my fears impelled me; Tell me truly, doctor, tell me, tell me truly, I implore, Can ' t I have appendicitis as I did in days of yore? Quoth the doctors, Nevermore. Ah, appendix, thou has left me, and thy absence has bereft me, But thy painful pangs I ' ll feel again. Oh, never, nevermore; But perhaps when life has fled me, and the angel host has led me Up to join the heavenly chorus on the shining, shimmering shore. Then perhaps again I ' ll find thee, and once more to me I ' ll bind thee, To the spot which thou departed and I ' ll leave thee never — more. Fair appendix — Lost Lenore — [27]

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