Presbyterian St Lukes Hospital School of Nursing - Alpha Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

Page 28 text:

Windt €btn ' Jf ir t Bap m tfje Wavi ' I T AL, said Uncle Eben one evening in early summer, I ' d yyi bin laid up all winter with a turrible rheumatiz an ' me an ' Hannah ' lowed that when the roads wuz a mite bet- ter I wuz to go to the city to see one of them big guns at the Hospital. When I got there the man in the uffus sed I could hev my choice of goin ' either in a big ward or a small ward. Right there I let him know I ' d made up my mind to be comf ' table and hev the best, so I sez, ' I ' ll hev the big ward regardless of the cost. No small ward fer me. ' The offusser, I guess you ' d call him since he wuz in the offus, smiled an ' saw right away I was a up-to-date man, an ' shrood. He sed if Hannah ' lowed to stay we could hev a sweet of rooms, I guess so we might do light housekeepin ' , but she wun ' t figgerin ' on stayin ' . Sam, thet ward wuz sum big. Bigger ' n my hull new cow barn, an ' the beds all settin ' white an ' straight agin the walls. Soon cum long a good lookin ' nuss, all starched in a white cap an ' apern with a few things hung on her arm. She sets up a screen round my bed. Not these here screens, but white canvas fixin ' s on poles so ' s you couldn ' t see thru ' em. She sed, reel nice an ' chipper, I was to take a bath an ' stay in bed. Thet wuz wun time I wuz insulted an ' let her know it. I sed, real hotly, I knowed I ' d traveled consid ' able distance, but it wuz only Chuesday an ' I ' d tuk my bath last Sat ' day night, reg ' lar. She smiled an ' sed it wuz the rooles of the institooshun, an ' then I wuz to put on ' this. ' ' This ' I ' lowed wuz the coat to an old perjama suit, only they wuz missin ' . I didn ' t make no fuss cuz I knowed how busy wimmen folks be an ' mebbe they ' d been mislaid er sumthin ' . But I saw right off twan ' t goin ' to be the thing fer my rheumaticks. Long cum a young guy in a white coat suit like my bed jacket. He mus ' a hed turrible weak eyes jedgin ' by the siz of the specs he wore. Yes, sur, reg ' lar goggles with big black frames. He wuz awful nice, tho, an ' I felt reel sorry for him. I hed a min ' to speak to him ' bout my perjammas, but I wan ' t layin ' to make trubble. He shuck ban ' s an ' sez, ' Mr. Painter? ' ' Thet ' s me, ' I sez. He wanted to know where I lived an ' my hull career. Then he sed, ' Mr. Painter, what ' s your present complaint? ' I riz up in bed angry, an ' sed, ' Who sed I hed a complaint to make? This is ez fine a institooshun ez I ever hope to be in. Furthermore, I didn ' t cum here to make trubble for no one by complainin ' fust thing. I cum to hev my rheumatiz cured up. ' He wuz reel nice, tho, an ' smiled an ' I cud see he wuz sorry to git me all riled up. He wrote ever ' wunce awhile and sed he wuz writin ' my hist ' ry an ' I felt reel proud to think my name wuz goin ' down thru the ages to cum. I wuz glad I ' d stood fer my rights. It pays to let ' em know you ain ' t so green. He wanted to know all about my wife an ' children an ' if they wuz well. He tuk an awful intrist in us. He asked me if anyone tuk my temperachure an ' I quick reached under my piller an ' felt my watch an ' pocketbook an ' sed that nuthin ' bin takin ' yet an ' I ' d hed my eyes peeled for slickers. He saw right away I wuz used to the sitty. Then he sed, patient-like, with a twinkle in his eye — he sure hed twink- lish eyes fer such weak wuns — ' Hev ye any fever? ' I told him [26]

Page 27 text:

[25]

Page 29 text:

Lor ' no, not with what I hed on. I wuz more hkely to hev a chill. He asked me if I was a drinkin ' man and I told him no, but I smoked consid ' able an ' showed him my pipe. Thet guy wuz a inturn. They wuz a young feller worked round the ward consid ' able. Wore a big white apern. They sure is addicted to wearin ' white there. He wuz a orderly an ' kep ' order in the ward. They only gave me a Httle soup an ' sech fer supper cuz my rheumatiz wuz reel bad. I tuk the bowl an ' drunk it in slow while it wuz hot. I cud see by the smiles on the nusses ' faces they wuz glad I enjoyed it. Thet night I ' lowed to smoke a bit before sleepin ' , so I lit up. Soon cum a nuss an ' sed, cross like, ' You can ' t smoke in here. ' ' Why? ' sez I, calm. ' It ' s agin the rooles, ' she sed. I sed sumthin ' under my breth about the rooles an ' put up my pipe. My feelin ' s wuz hurt, but I wan ' t layin ' to make trubble an ' wuz awful careful whut I did an ' sed on account of it goin ' down in hist ' ry. Once upon a midnight, dreary, under ether, weak and weary, To an operating table grim my senseless hulk they bore; Suddenly there came a ripping, as of one with scissors snipping, Scissors gently, swiftly snipping up my stomach floor; Doctor Beard, and maybe more. Aye, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, And each instrument and weapon thirsted for my ruby gore; Then so closely did they shave me, and with antiseptic lave me, And the blackest pills they gave me, till I raved depraved, and swore; By the lift they slowly raised me to the operating floor. Shoved me in, and closed the door! Then they cut and gouged and hashed me, and they carved and chopped and slashed me, Till they found it, tore it from me, my appendix. Lost Lenore. Doctor, yelled I, Pritha tell me, to this cry my fears impelled me; Tell me truly, doctor, tell me, tell me truly, I implore, Can ' t I have appendicitis as I did in days of yore? Quoth the doctors, Nevermore. Ah, appendix, thou has left me, and thy absence has bereft me, But thy painful pangs I ' ll feel again. Oh, never, nevermore; But perhaps when life has fled me, and the angel host has led me Up to join the heavenly chorus on the shining, shimmering shore. Then perhaps again I ' ll find thee, and once more to me I ' ll bind thee, To the spot which thou departed and I ' ll leave thee never — more. Fair appendix — Lost Lenore — [27]