Port Huron High School - Student Yearbook (Port Huron, MI)

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tion, as this is the first subject that the freshie desides upon. There is no doubt that English is essential to the human being as no boy can expect to wear a number 7 hat until four years 1 English has increased his head, where the brain is supposed to be, to that size. Facial expression has a great bearing on this subject, since, when a teacher sees that the countenance expresses learning, by the study of physiognomy he knows that the brain of the wearer has absorbed the lesson. This is one of the greatest studies that is known and every well known bluffer uses it at every opportunity. But to return xo the study of English. English is supposed to show the student how to use dif- ferent words in their proper places and not to use expressions like “He seen his duty and done it noble,” which always causes excruciating agony to the listeners. Large words are to be avoided as they show superficial phrasing and are to be elim- inated from extemporaneous narratives. English is common- ly divided into three branches called, Good, Bad and Indiffer- ent. It can be mastered only after much study and concen- tration. Ancient history is the next study that we shall discuss, as this is the subject that is frequently taken several times by the scholars. Tt deals with things that happened so long ago that nobody cares whether they happened or not, but it is placed in every high school curriculum because it prevents any- one from graduating before his proper time. Several years of this subject are usually taken. Geometry treats of the subject of why we call a worm an angle worm when it is really composed of several curves. I his is a much discussed question and it takes many years of study to find out how little you know about the different branches of the study. Latin is also an essential study, very beneficial for the art of self defense. Many a man has had his life saved by hurling Latin verbs at his prosecutors, which causes them to retire in complete embarrassment, making them realize that they are no match for the Latin student. It is very interesting 22

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Advice to Freshmen Now, children, this is purely a letter of advice to those who are contemplating a course in the hall of learning, com- monly called the high school. In the first place, the word is supposed to mean a place of more learning, but this word is frequently misconstrued, some people thinking that the high school is a fine place to pass away the time, playing foot ball and the like, thereby getting out of what is vulgarly called work. This is a misconception in the true sense of the word, as the aforesaid place is for the purpose of turning good ma- terial out of raw material. High school is divided into four branches, going by the names of freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors. Every student must start as a freshman and as soon as he has master- ed the delicate intricacies of the finer arts, he is promoted to the sophomore room where he has a chance to adopt the dress of the inhabitants therein and start getting acquainted with the opposite sex. At this time, the lure of the class room begins to fall away and it is now ' that he begins to in- troduce himself to what is known as the “Pony,” an American coined word meaning “helper.” The next period of suffering is in the realms of the junior class, when the student wears a superficial air, looks bored, is inclined to pessimism and has the art of bluffing to an excellent degree. This year serves as a reaction and in the senior year, he starts to gain in the pursuit of the elusive high marks and spends as high as fifteen minutes at a time mastering Latin verbs, accents of Chaucer, slang phrases, American history and the art of wearing red neckties. He graduates with the feeling that he is a man of the w ' orld and this lasts until he takes up business and learns that after all he is only like all the rest that have completed the course of learning. Now we shall take up the different studies and analyze them for your benefit. English is the main stay of the institu- 21

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to read how great Caesar was, according to his own commen- taries. No man is really prominent in public affairs until he has been compared to the aforesaid. Chemistry deals with the action of acids and different sub- stances of which the earth is composed, such as the action and appearance of face powder on the human complexion. Why is a bad egg, and several other questions are solved in the chemistry room. These are the essential subjects and the others are placed in the school to fill out the program, but if this outline is prop- erly used there is no doubt that the ones who are going to enter high school will make great progress. —ARTHUR BUCKERIDGE, ’15. “TIMES ARE CHANGED” 1. How well do I remember Those four short years gone by, O11 that morning in September When we entered Port Huron High. 2. We were so small and simple. And also very shy ; And w r e always blushed so deeply W hen a Senior passed us by. 3. But now you see those times have passed When we obeyed such rules. And as we are the Senior Class Of course we run the school. — A Senior. A well dressed lady rushed up to a clerk in a household goods department store and, without waiting for the clerk to speak, exclaimed: “Give me a mouse trap quickly, please. I want to catch a train.” 23