Plymouth High School - Pilgrim Yearbook (Plymouth, MA)

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20 THE PILGRIM Organization! Her article today will be 'How to construct a cake' and 'How to Slaughter a Smoked Shoulderf As we wish to see all the town and must apportion our time, we are unable to stay longer. Let us journey further afield. On our way to the street, we pass the Woman's Get-together Clubf' Ad- die Leland has just addressed the group on 'tHow to Shake a Salt Shaker. In the interested audience we glimpse Alice Banzi, Alice Hall, Amy Young, Sarah Crowell, Kathryn V. Sampson, and Mildred Strassel. On the street again, we journey to the backyard of the mayor, Harold Ray- mond, where the Lam-Bor-Ghini Cine- ma Studios are located. A new super- thriller, The Goon and the Gink, star- ring Alton Whiting, Priscilla McCosh, and Elsie Monti, has just been com- pleted. Much praise is due the director, our own Jacob Shwom, for such marvel- ous work. Attracted by a buzz, we peer into a corner of the studio where we see Ruth Huntley, Mildred Lapham, Barbara Neal, and Katherine T. Sampson indus- triously UD playing bridge during their lunch hour here at the studio. Their chief topic of conversation concerns that book of the month Dazed in the Daisies or Asleep Under a Tulip by that most promising authoress, Alba Martinelli. We see that that nationally famed kibitzer, Connie Caldera, has just wowed them with another of her ancient original jokes. Now, my friends, as it is time to eat, we must adjourn to the Tin Coffeepot owned by Evelyn Arruda and Alma Gilli. We are greeted by Eleanor Drew, hostess, who tells us the meal is on the house. From the kitchen, we catch the fragrant aroma of Albert Walton's Miscellaneous Soup which contains just what the name suggests. Look! Over there on the stool, busily enveloping a hamburger, is Douglas Tubbs, an industrious and Lochinvarian young architect, who recently completed the Peter Peterson Community Cen- ter in Washington, D. C. Ah! Her-e's our soup, or are the plates just wet? After a lovely repast we depart for further investigation of this city. Sitting under an orange umbrella in the civic center we find Joseph Ryan, busily directing traflic. Janet Clark, Katherine Christie, and Cynthia Oldhan have just crashed head-on and caused a terrific mixup. CNice scenery, isn't it, girls?J In the distance we hear the presses of The Funnell owned and operated by Florence Drew. Buying a copy of the paper, we note that Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Alexander Barbieri and his eight cronies, Donald Peterson, Charles Barengo, Antonio Carvalho, Prentiss Childs, Curtis Lowe, Ellis Gil- man, Webster Moores, and Antone Spalluzzi, have just declared that a tax on Iiavored tooth paste is constitutional. We also note that Eva Reggiani, the famed fan-dancer, has just left for Sweden to visit her mother. We also note with pride that our own Red Devitt has won the international hog-calling contest. Some voice, that! Now we shall again enter our dilapi- dated omnibus to journey to the Dun- ham Foundation Hospital where We shall see the latest in diseases and op- eration gowns. We are in luck. A patient is just be- ing carried in on a stretcher. It appears to be Gildo Govoni who, the driver says, was pouring hair tonic on his newly- grown mustache when the bottle slip- ped. He is received by nurses Marion Morey and Louise Ide, who quickly usher him, into the X-ray room. Doctors Courtney and Zavalcofsky are inter- rupted at their thrilling game of back- gammon, but they willingly rush to further maim and harass their patient. Leaving the hospital, we pass to the as- sembly hall, and, if we are quiet, we may be able to peek in. In the ranks of the alumnae nurses who are witnessing a premier per- formance of the new movie production featuring the Scionne Sextuplets, we see many old friends, Elizabeth Belcher, Natalie Caldera, Mary Crescenza, and Arlene Raymond in the front row, slyly whispering to one another upon a mat- ter of utmost importance fArlene's new hat, no doubtj . Over here we can see Louisa Gal- lerani, Dorothy Govoni, Hilda Jesse, Ella Lemius, Ruth Raymond, and Elinor Sanderson brazenly playing Tit-Tat- Toe on the back of Rose Sherman's spotlessly white uniform. They are brought to order by Professor Barbara MacDonald who severely reprimands them. Leaving the hospital, we reach the center of town again in a surprisingly short time. As we walk along the thor-

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THE PILGRIM 19 CLASS PlROlP'll-lllECCY ALL aboard! The sight-seeing bus, Black Maria, is just leaving! Our destination is to be the fair city of Mymplouth where 99 44!100Zi of the inhabitants are members of that unfor- gettable class of 1936 from old Plym- outh High. Step up, madam! Take the seat in the rear beside the buxom gentlemen with the epileptic necktie and the nauseating cigar. Here we go! Ladies and gentlemen, I, Vincent Jelly Baietti, am your guide, and our bus driver is the eccentric Philip Chandler, who never in his life has hit anything but pedestrians. Upon entering the city, the first build- ing we notice is that in which the bowl- ing alleys of Messieurs Poluzzi and Tav- ares are located. Louis CI know him personallyb has discarded his famed wooden toothpick for a platinum one gayly encrusted with diamonds. Alvin is futilely trying to explain the differ- ence between a strike and a spare to a few interested ladies: namely, Althea Lewis, Lucy Mayo, and Shorty-Dot Dunbar, who are desirous of learning the fundamentals of this healthful pas- time. There, standing in front of the build- ing with his thumb in the air, and sur- rounded by awed youngsters, is Robert Volk, author of the Hitch-hikers Com- panion and N87 Methods of Soliciting Rides. Let us leave the bus and in a leisurely fashion wander through the town and its many buildings. In a spotless white office, above the alleys, we discover Dr. Dorothy Rogers, leading feminine dentist, skillfully ex- tracting bicuspids and eye-teeth from a yawning mouth, the owner of which is Charles Fraser, inventor of the cubical polka dot, now employed by The George Scagliarini Polka Dot Corporation. When better dots are polkared, Scag will polka them! In the waiting room are Margaret Donovan, Mary Goddard, Evelyn Schreiber, and Priscilla Roberts, all featured in that new stage produc- tion, Dust on the Doorknob, written by that ingenious author, Douglass Armstrong. Clncidently, it is now play- ing in Lawrence Goodwinfs Opera House.J Up one flight more, we go into a spacious gymnasium where Mario Spike Garuti holds sway. Here the tired business man may reduce a bay- window to a mere skylight. In the ranks I believe we see Bill Bagnell, chairman of The Wiser Wisecrack Club. Over on a mat is Ward Clarke, world's heavyweight wrestling cham- pion, casually tying knots and charlie- horses in the legs of Daniel Tribou, who, we must confess, is deeply engrossed in a Wild West Weekly. Across from the gymnasium is the of- iice of Francis Poirier, owner of the Shaggy Nag Stables. We are ushered into the outer offices by Jean Whiting, his secretary. Behind us come tramping Donald Hughes, Frederick Deacon, Robert Hall, and Edward Brewster, all stockholders in the Suffogansett Race Track. They intend to build a race track on Brown's Island in Plymouth. Leaving this building, we journey to an adjacent one. On the street floor is the Modiste Moderne managed by Thelma Ferioli and Pauline Viau. Vain- ly trying to decide which hat to buy is Miss Margaret Fox, assistant adviser on the Adviser's Advice Council. In the back room, Rosamond Harlow and Betty Gardner are creating more ravishing chapeaux. On the next iioor is a door with a mysterious -looking sign on it. No, madam, it is not a Chin-ese Laundry. That is the insignia of the Theta Phi Psi Fraternity, to which belong those six heroic gentlemen UD who battled through Trigonometry and Solid Geome- try without a tear. Entering, we see grouped around a televisor, munching peanuts and Tootsie Rolls, Deane Beytes, the human slide rule, Peter Secondo, Fred Astaire's successor, George Nickerson, noted critic, Frank Neal, who recently translated Anthony Adverse into pig-latin, Warren Brad- ford, that little atomizer of gossip, and George Campbell, world's champion pre- varicator. Directly above the club room is Tele- vision Station WPHS where Elizabeth Ryan has just rendered Tony Tavernel- li's latest hit, f'Schenectady Scuttle, ac- companied by Doris Pederzani's all-girl orchestra. The owner of the voice an- nouncing the next program is Richard Harlow. Our next program will be the daily cooking lesson by Thelma Garuti, presi- dent of the 'Sisters of the Double-boiler

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r ,. . ,THE'.:PHf?1ii1lY1.,..L. o, C ., 21 oughfare, smoke and the odor of singed hair attract our attention. Very much concerned, we search for the source. Peeking into a beauty shop, we find it. There in a chair is Marion Beauregard heroically undergoing all the horrors of a beauty treatment. Miss Edna.Nicke1'- son is doing the deed, at the sa-me time rapidly chatting with Ruth Valler, who appears to have dropped in just for a pow-wow and confab. Also, in the shop are Dorothy Perkins, leading sampler ,for the Taste-More Lollipop Corp.. Ethel Pimental, coloratura for the Alexander Pearson Shoetree Corp. Hour, Gertrudes Russell and Wood, two exceedingly busy housewives, who, no doubt, are in for the Viola Petit Spec- ia! temporary permanent. Unaccustomed to such brutal sights, we find it necessary to depart. Now, let us again enter our convey-- ance and remain parked for a short while. I shall point out to you any and all personalities who chance to pass. it The couple approaching now is Mr. and Mrs. Francis Phillips, big game hunters. They have just returned from an expedition to Mars where they suc- ceeded in capturing a Martian Kluztok, fpronounced Kluztok J. This group of ladies now drawing near in very great haste must be going to Frederick Wood's Bargain Basement. From left to right, they are Francis Harty, Wilma Hurle, and Jennie ,Maz- zilli. There is a sale of guaranteed. no- run stockings in Mr. Wood's basement. fWait until they find out they're:ma'de of steel woolj. Following close behind, we see Ger- aldine Balboni, picking up the bundles that Ellen Sampson has dropped after attempting to recover them from Vir- ginia Wood. fExcuse the girls: they are trying to make the train thatleaves for Clark's Island in 2.5 min.J.- Be careful! These four faces now passing belong to G-men. Sh! They are owned by Robert Proffetti, Romeo Santerre, Frank Silvia, and Edgar Nickerson, respectively. They must be working on a case. Hi ya, gents! V Here's Betty Boudrot, assistant-nurse to Dr. George Wood, -veterinarian. There are Martha and Daisy Hallwho doa' sister act inthe Henriette Huriauig Hilarities. -Well, well, there .goes Burn- ham Young, who succeeded in crossing a bee with 'an eagle to secure a more ,bountiful supply of honey. ' :Oliver Matinzi, the truant oiiicer, just whizzed past. I wonder who he's after or vice versa? There goes Sarah Clark, president of the Housewives' Leisure Club, and a few of her members: Jesse Callahan, Dorothy Vandini, and Marjorie Cec- carelli, with Marion Henderson and Helen Michel bringing up the rear. Here comes Marjorie Croft, famous aviatrix. She just flew around the moon in :four months! To whom is she talk- ing? Oh, I know them, Arlene Dries and Mildred Wright, two employees of the James Frazier's Korn - Killer Kuref' Approaching us now are Misses Dor- othy Hamblin and Elsie Rezendes, in- ventors of the fourth dimensional knit and purl stitch .,,' W There, coming out of Elizabeth Vaughn's Delicatessen, are Gertrude Simmons, world champion of the tennis court, and Evelyn Strassel, the .girl who says Thank you before giving you the wrong number onthe Telephon- 1sor. r 'Sakes alive and dead, too! Look at the time! We-have to mosey along. And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will designate your destinations . . . I shall endeavor to deposit you upon your respective doorsteps .... Dashed 05 in ,a moment of clairvoy- ancy and lunacy by . -Q . , e G. CAMPBELL '36 OVERHEARD: ,CHOICE REMARKS IN Chiefis History Class: Spaghetti grows on trees in Italy. CWho said so?J - We ain't lea.rned nuthin' yet in this class! 'CWhen she read the proof, Mrs. Raymond said it must have been in Englishj I'm positive I passed the paper in becausel copied ,from the guy in front Ofme, -. ., ., It wasn't on when I took it off. He who laughs first laughs last. Don't make a mountain out of a mole. Look at the air in the road! c Question: Who said, Speak for yourself, John?', .Answer: Benjamin Franklin. Gee, those three guys make a nice pair. ' I Do you mean to situate I said! that? ' LUIGI Sz V1NcENzo V. The I risk- G-Men