Plainville High School - Plainsman Yearbook (Mariemont, OH)

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Ladies and gentiemen, this is Gerry Storch, your favorite commentator, talking to you over my wolkie-talkie from the steps of the new ultra-modern institute of learning, Mariemont High School. Today it is to be dedicated to the youth of Greater Mariemont, that portion of southern Ohio formerly referred to us Greater Cincinnati. This school is the latest thing in modern archi- tecture. One of its nicer features is the science department's rocket runway on the roof. This will be used by students of astronomy for field trips to the different points of interest in the universe. The classrooms are complete with overstuffed chairs and CocaaCoia machines, while the lounges at the ends of the halt on each of the Five floors are equipped with pool tables, iuke boxes, and cots for those sleepy students who are of the schoot of thought that he who puts oft studying until tomorrow will have a terrific time tonight. The guests of honor at the dedication are the members of the Class of '46, whose gifts and efforts are largely responsible for the establish- ment of this impressive edifice. Some of the mem- bers of the class are here around me, and never have I been a port of so distinguished a company. To my right stands the Reverend Mr. Donaid John Ferns, assistant pastor of the Mariemont Community Church, who has iust opened the ceremonies. I understand that there will be a slight delay until our speaker arrives, so I'll point out to you some of the persons of importance who are with us today. Over under the beech tree stands Duane DeWeese lwho made a fortune on his prize Aberdeen Angus cattlei talking to competitor Barbara Spelman. He is gloating over the fact that one of his bulls was International Grand Champion over her Hereford entry. Gazing nonchalantly at the school he so richly endowed is Ben Fite, the muiti-millionaire. I see that he is now comparing bunkbooks with Bibsi Mueller, another donor. She is still collect- ing royalty on her best-seller, Spanish Puns. Bustling around to be sure everything is under control is Ruth Calvert, Mariemont's first woman 42 66444 mayor. Right now she is discussing with Judge of Police Court Gene Bauer the advisability of releasing tor the dedication their most hopeless hobo, Phil Banks. Phil, it seems, went completely berserk trying to get atoms back together. Feverishly taking notes for her New York Times feature, My Day, is June Eleanor Markey. Now she is rushing off to type up her column, at! but knocking down Slick Dick Moppes. He is talking to Honest John Gilbert, his opponent for the office of mayor of New York. Slick Dick is bound to be defeated, for he kisses the babies, while Honest John goes him one better by kissing the babes. Ladies and gentlemen, there is a terrible com- motion in the street. From my point of vantage here on the steps I can now see that it is caused by Jane Buckmuster, on her white charger, rac- ing Dottie Bainum of the Moriemont Taxi Serv- ice, But poor Jane iust doesn't have a chance. On closer examination I see five skulls and crossbones painted on the side of the cab. The fifth makes Dottie the ace of her company. The door of the cab is opening, and out iump so- ciolites Evelyn Hill, Jeanne Browning, and Pat Herdtner, sighing with relief that their harrow- ing ride is over. Now I'll take you on a tour of the building. As I enter the main lobby I encounter an imu pressive oil portrait of Edgar Parks, the current president of the school board. As i look to the end of the peted corridor, I see one of the many beautie fully decorated lounges. These were planned by the firm of Hannaford and Weingartner, Inn terior Decorators. Here comes Bili Keown, ionitor and philo- mcxgnificently car- sopher, sweeping up the paper napkins around Wilma's Wonderful Weiner Stand, Wilma Ra- leigh, proprietor. Wilma hos confided in me that she is trying to get control of the soda fountain business on the third floor. Just across the hall from the hot dog stand is the girls' athletic oftice. Coach Janet Gilbert is giving a talk to the interested spectators on how to play guard in girls' basketball. But I must move on to tell you more about the school. Stewardess Norma Summons is the school's elevator operator. Her training with American at; '46

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amt 7wmment To anyone who thinks he's big enough to take it from me, my H'I-Y pin-June Hannaford. To Harold Kruse, my doublewjointed toesmPc-t Herdtner. To the person who regularly carves on the desks in 315, my long fingernails-h- Evelyn Hill. To Frank Ruddle, my boss fiddle, and I hope you can reach the topFGlenn Horne. To someone who knows how to use it, my suntompyPct Hughes. To Charles Miller, my creaking basso-Bill Keown. To Betty Jean Hutchinson, my charming New England accent-Dick Mappes. To anyone who knows what it means, my desire to be a clinical pathologist- June Morkey. To Russ Heckel, my girlshy attitudemTom Marx. To Pete Hull, my toothbrush to polish his shoesmMorilyn Mills. To Carl, my inch-long eyelashes to sweep up the hallsmBibsi Mueller. To Eddie Crain, my many and varied t'1idst'mGeorge Metz. To Bob Summers, my practice basketball punts, tape and uIl-Ston McCracken. To the costume wardrobe, my villuinis eyebrowstoe McGowan. To the junkpile, my old car Ht, where it should have been long ago-Bob McGuire. To George Baker, my unruly shock of huir--Ed Parks. To Frisch's, my car-to-car personalitymWilma Raleigh. To next years money makers, my never-failing smileyNorma Summons. Behind, my nicknames, ChIOye, Cleo, and CedriCmChloe Schmidt. To the next poor devil, my skill in managing the carnival, Mina Shumway. To Ralph Sipe, my referee's whistle to add to his ownm-Carolyn Simons. To Joan Tice, my sleeveless, buttonless blouses, which she wouldntt wear any- wuy-Pat Simpson. To Barbara Hanaford, my cheerleading tightsmBarbara Spefman. Nothing. Nobody ever left me anythingthGerry Storch. To Dave Taylor, my casual attiremSonny Tiberghein. To Mr. Martin, my Giacier Springs distilled water to save a lot of trouble- Dotty Uvuas. To Jim Baker, my elbowless cashmeremLois Weingartner. To the art room, my cartoons--Ed Wilkinson. To George Kopp, my Navy experiences to support his talesm-Don Winder. To Jim Potter, my gigglemMary June Wood. 41

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7W Airlines makes her invaluable to him whose tn- testinal fortitude is challenged by the speedy service. As I come out on the second floor I hear hot music coming from the ballroom which covers the entire north side of the floor. Investigating further, I see the two new iitterbug teachers, Mary Cappa and Kay DeLaney, auditioning Bill Anthony and his Dissipated Syncopaters. The rest of this floor is devoted to the science Mina the physics teacher, is inspecting the new lab equipment with shaking hands. It seems that Mina has a terrible complex about breaking this sort of thing. To the rear of the school is the fieldhouse, which houses fourteen basketbalI courts. Here I Department. Shumway, see Glen Horne trying a few foul shots, and I overhear Coach Stan McCracken in Court Num- ber One discussing details of the game with Sonny Tiberghein. Sonny intends to use them in his new book on basketball, Make Every Foul Count! The second floor of the tieldhouse is given over to Anderson's Clinic. Here Dr. Pat Anderson devotes her entire time to the healing of the visiting teams! wounded pIayers. Continuing on my tour I come upon the spacious auditorium where the entertainers are preparing for their production of The Cisco Kid. Going backstage I find that the star is Marygene Francisco. One of the best scenes of the show is that in which Laird Durham dazzles the heroine with his Indian dancing. I see on the program that the afternoons entertainment will include a piano duet featuring Chloe Schmidt and Pat Hughes. A messenger has iust handed me two telev grams. The first is from George Metz, tendering his regrets that he cannot be present. He says that Gunder Haag, Jr., refused to postpone the race. The other is from Pat Simpson. She says that she is unable to attend the dedication be- cause as manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers, she must be with them when they play their World Series games. There stands Charlotte Blattman, taking a picture for Life Magazine of Bill Adkins and Bob McGuire, the architects who designed the 43 school. Charlotte, who made a million in her own studio, is working for Life iust for fun. The dedication program is about to start, but I think I'll skip it and go to the Mariemont Inn, get a bite to eat, and tell you a little about the place. Having reached the Inn, I am struck with the feeling that I have seen the manager before. Yes, as he comes toward me I can see that he is Joe McGowan. Joe says that his success as man- ager is the result of his long familiarity with his surroundings. The headwaiter promptly ushers me to the best table only a few feet from the bandstand. Approaching my table is a cute brunette waitress. Upon closer scrutiny, I discover that it is Marilyn Mills. I realize that Marilyn must be Ihirty-seven, and on asking how she keeps her glowing youthfulness, I am told that her secret is the fact that she has faithfully brushed her teeth ten times daily for the past twenty- tive years. My attention is attracted to a nearby table where I see two naval oFFicers, Captain Don Winder, chief officer on a submarine, and Cap- tain Ed Wilkinson, Squadron leader in the Navy Air Corps. They are discussing heatedly which is more exciting, air or undersea travel. They have become so noisy that Tom Marx, the tough bouncer, threatens to oust them. The Class of '46 is arriving for the special dinner to be given in its honor. The members are led in by the speaker who was kind enough to detain them for only four hours. It is Carolyn Simons, president of the Mariemont Ladies' Sewing Circle, which organization has won na- tional tame through the efforts of its founder and noted dress designer, Dotty Uvaas. I wish you could be here, ladies and gentle- men, to witness the gratifying response given Mary Jane Wood's new beverage, Wood's alcohol. Everyone is dying for more. I am sorry to find my time running short, for I have enioyed bringing you this firsthand ac- count of such an important event in the advance- ment of education. Tune in Monday when a speaker from Mars will talk to you about that garden-spot of the solar system.