Pio Nono High School - Pio Nonite Yearbook (Milwaukee, WI)

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19 THE PIO ITE 25 The plaintiff, a voluble Italian, talked as fast as his knowledge of English would permit. ' Looking down at the court reporter the Italian no-tieed for the first time that his testimony was being reduced to writing tthe reporter trying his best to keep upj, and thereupon began to talk faster than ever until finally he burst forth: Don't write so fast, I ean'ta keep up with you. Mary-IVhat is it from which you may take away all the letters and it still re- mains? Charles-I don t know what it is. Mary-A letter box. , . No, John, said his mother, 'tone pieee of pie is enough for you. Its funny, respnded John, with an in- spired air. You say you are anxious that I learn to eat properly, and yet you won 't give me a ehanee to practice. Customer-I want a couple ot pillows. Clerk-What size? Customer-I don 't know, but I wear a size T hat. Are you the plumber? Yes, mum. Well, see that you exercise eare when doing' your work. All my tloors are highly polished and in perfect condition. Oh, dou't worry about me flippin' mum. l've grot nails in me boots. New Words as Used. Jack was home for the holidays from college. One day he said to his mother: May l tell you a narrative, motheriI 'llhe mother, not being used to sueh big words, said, 'twhat is a narrative? A narrative is a tale, said Jaek. That same night, when going' to bed, Jack said, mother may I extinguish the llghts'.7 His mother asked, what do you mean by saying extinquish it Exting'uish means put out, said Tack. A few days later his mother was giving a party at their house, and the dog walked in. Jaek 's mother raised her voice and said: Jack, take that dog by the narrative and extinguish him. 40 Charles--I know a word you add a let- ter to and it is gone. Mary-You don't say so. What is it? Charles-Add a letter to one and you have gone. VVatry-Is it possible for a motorist to lose control ot his ear? Winter-Certainly, he might be unable to pay his bills. Prisoner, did you steal that rug? UNO, your honor. A lady give it to me and told me to beat it, and I did. Mother--Now, IVillie it you put this wedding' cake under your pillow, what you dream will come true. IVillie-Why ean't I eat it and put my pillow over my stomaeh? I should like to open an aeeount with this bank ilf you please. IYe shall be glad to aeeommodate you iuadam, what amount do you wish to de- posit? Oh, I mean a 1'llIll'Q'l' aeeouut, sueh as I have at the big' dry goods stores. Funny man-tl'lnterin:' shopy Hey, bar- ber, ever sjiave a pig? Barber-t7an't say I have, sir. you're next. A eolored agent was summoned before an Insurance Commissioner. Don't you understand. said the eom- missioner, that you ean't sell insuranee without a state lieense? Boss, said the darky, you shuah said a mouttul. I knowed I eouldn 't sell it, but I didn 't know the reason. Porter-IVhere's your trunks, sah? Salesman-I use no trunks. Porter-But I thought you was one ol' these travelin' salesmen. Salesman-I am, but I sell brains. un- derstand? I sell brains. Porter-Exeuse me boss, but youse the turst travelin' fella that 's been here who ainlt earryin' no samples. Teacher-VVhy IVillie, such dirty hands. who brought you up? IVillie-De eoal man, in his wagon. ma 'am.

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19 THE PIO N ITE 25 He went to see the dentist, The picture of despair, But came back smiling broadly- The dentist Wasn't there. Want Adds lVanted-Commeneement day and diplo- mas i i VVanted---A baseball team. .Father Mason YVanted-A little knowledge and common sense i XVanted-Permifsion to smoke .... Roger Mvanted-,lnitiations .......... Freshies . . . .................. . . . bCll101'S . ......... . ............ Juniors For Sale For Sale--A Ford. Cheap if taken at onee .................. Prof. Gramann For Sale-New and old books, slightly used . .................... Graduates For Sale--lligh class brains. Apply - to.. ........ . ........ Seniors Foley-Roger made a New Year resolu- tion to quit smoking. . Rudy-How do you know? Did he tell you? . Foley-No, but I haven't seen him go behind the gym since we got baek trom Christmas vacation. It 1 had known what a fool you are ' . !7 I would never have married you, stormed Mrs. Knajrgs. . You might have guessed it, when I proposed to you, protested her spouse mildly. An Irishman was telling of his war wound. He said: An' the bullet went in me ehist here au' come out me back But, said his friend, 'tit would have gone through your heart and killed you.' ' Faith, and me heart was in me mouth at the time! in She--Oh! Are you really an artist? He-Sli-Sli-SIP Yes, but not so loud. Mrs. .T..-Mary is grettiirr past the age ot making' faces at the boys. Mrs. S.-Yes, she is beginning' to make eyes at them now. Patient-Say, doe, do you think it will be verv hard to operate me? Doctor-XV:-ll. l don 't lfnow. but I'll take a stab at you anyway. Customer-XVaiter, the ham in this sandwich is awfully thin. YVaiter-Boss, the man that cut that ham used to make cigarette papers out of calling' cards. Pooled You! I stole so many kisses My lips began to sag, And then that pretty waitress Hid the candy bag! Soike-NVhat's Gaunt doing nowadays? Red-Oh! He's got ajob in a foundry knocking' grunts out ot' pig iron. This alarm clock is badly battered, said the man who had to get up early. Are you sure it is dependable? You bet, assured the host. 'tThat's why it 's battered. . Peters-llid you look before you leaped into matrimony. 1 Decatur-Yes, and then l decided not to Jump. I'rol'. Gramann-When will it be con- venient i'or your daughter to take her mu- sie le5sons? lilr. Palmer-Any time when lim not at home. Fr. O'l3oyle--Nav, have you done out- side readinu' lately? Hay-No, l'l2ltll0l', it's too eold outside. Napoleon said: There is no such word as ean't . T wonder it he ever tried to light a match on a cake ol' soap. Farmer-Young man. what is your oe- cupation '? Young man-YVhy I eall trains. Farmer-Call me one, l am in a hurry. Took-YVhat's all the noise in the kitchen? Stroke-'l'hey're beating a couple eggs. Did your last employer give a recom- mendation ? Yes, but it don't seem to be any good. VVhat did he say? A He said T was one ot' the best men the firm ever turned out. 61 39

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19 THE PIO NO ITE a Census Taker-And how old are you, Madam '? The Lady-l've seen 25 summers. Census 'taker-And how long have you been blind? A teacher on the east side instructing her elass in the rudiments ot the English language. Pietro, she said, ttmake a sentenee using indisposition. Pietro, who was ol' a pugilistie turn, as- sumed an aggres.-ive attitude nouueed : When you e wants to light, youse stands in dis position. and an- T0ilt'll01'-IVllY does a 0'iral'l'e have such a long neek Studeut-Beeause its head is so far away from its body. ., C if A successful marriage is one where a wife is boss and don 't know it. NVinter-Is Betzler a dreamer? NVatry-I-Ie eertainly is, last night he dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and ate halt ot the mattress before he awoke. A Colored mammy-l wants a tieket for Florenee. Ticket agent-fAl'ter ten minutes of weary reading ol' railroad guidesj where is Florenee? Clolored Mammy-Setting over dar on de beneh. Ilelhnieh-This coffee tastes like mud. Rudy-VVell, it was ground yesterday. Rastus--An who you is? Sambo-Nevah mind who I is. Bettah be thinking who you Was. In the Physiology class. An examination in the elementary phy- siology elass elieited the following an- swers in reply to the question, VVhat is the' use of the nose? The nose is what we hare a cold with. The nose is for wiping. The nose is to turn up at things. The nose is to blow with. The nose is to put powder on. 41 History questions: 1. When, where, how, and why did Queen Anne die? a. Give the 11an1e of the undertak- er's assistant? b. lf she had no assistant, give rea- son. tQuote authorityl. English questions: I. Insert. the dollar sign in the follow- ing: Dear Sir: Three years ago I said I'd choke if I wore one of your collars again. NVell I did and I did. NVhat rhymes with the word apple, besides editor? Ji. Explain Patrick 's statement, 'tlaugh and the world laughs with youg snore and ileep alone. -l. lieeite your favorite verse to the tune ot' Mary had a little lamb . Other questions. l. NVhy is a bathtub and a Ford alike? Ans. Nearly every one has them, but does not like to be seen in them. 2. lf you went straight through the earth, whe1'e would you come out? Aus. The end. 4. IVhy is a kiss like the three virtues? Ans. Because it's faith to a young maiden, hope to a young woman, charity to an old maid. 5. IVhy do some people wear hats? Aus. To keep their brains together. Can You Imagine Giguere not talking? 'tRed Lone without a ukelele? Sehmidt without his mareel? Paul Newhouse in knee pants? Goodare getting up before the second bell? A new GYBI? llall aetinu' the part of a hero? U flaunt having a ean ot' tobacco? Prof. Kozina buying Staeombol 'tMuzz IVinter not working on cross word puzzles? Roger Stroke playing base-ball? Soike without a hair eomb? Cook writing a thesis? Stollenwerk without his home work? Pima without a pose to everything he does? Abdulah trying out for the first team?