Delta High School - Del Hi Yearbook (Delta, OH)

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NO. 575 An English soldier wrote home, They put me in barracks, they took away my clothes and put me in khaki, they took away my name and made me No. 575: they took me to church where I had never been before, and made me listen to a sermon for 45 minutes. Then the minister opened his hymn book and said ‘No. 575, Art Thou Weary, Art Thou Languid?” and [ got seven days in the guard house because I answered: I certainly am!” PAY THE PIPER A Welsh preacher was talking to his congregation about salvation. Finally his sermon was finished, and then he said: “Now, then Brother Smith, will you take up the collection please ?” At this point an old man got up and started for the door, saying: “Parson. I thought you aid salvation was free—free as the water we drink.” “Well, brother.” replied the preacher, “salvation is free and water is free, but when we pipe it to you. you have to pay for the piping.” BRIEF EXPLANATION Miss Nau: “Now girls, can .anyone tell me the meaning of ‘unaware’?” A tiny hand waved frantically in the air. Miss Nau: “Yes, Phyllis M.” Phyllis McKeen: “Please, mum, unaware is what you put on first and take oft' last.” GOOD RIDDANCE “And now,” said Mrs. Gens, “will someone please give us a sentence using the word ‘candor’ ?” “Please’m,” said the Chuck Hunt in the front seat, “My papa had a pretty stenographer, but ifter ma saw her he candor.” A LESSON IN PATIENCE Three boys entered a village confectionery. The rather gruff old proprietor said to the first boy: “What do you want, my boy?” “A dime’s worth of marbles, please.” The old man climbed a ladder, brought down the jar that contained the marbles, made up the packet and returned the jar to the shelf. Then he asked the second boy what he wanted. “A dime’s worth of marbles, please,” was the answer. “Why didn’t you say so before?” said the old man irritably, as he went for the ladder again. “Do you, want a dime’s worth of marbles too?” “No,” replied the third boy. The old man climbed to the shelf again, brought down the jar, made up the second packet of marbles, restored the jar to the shelf, and once more put the ladder away. “Well, my boy. and now what do you want?” he asked of the third boy. “A nickel’s worth of marbles,” came the answer. DO TELL Dad: “Now, children, tell me who has been the most obedient during the last month, and done everything that Mother asked him to do?” Tom B.: “How big is he?” KNOWS HIS RIGHTS Bob L.: “Mother, you h tye no right to send me to bed without my supper.” » Mother: Why, what do you mean, young man ?” Bob L.: “Well, the Declaration of Independence says ‘there should be no governing without the consent of the governed.’ ” FAIR ENOUGH It was the old lady’s first ride in a taxi. She watched with growing alarm the driver as he continually put his hand outside the car as a signal to the traffic following. At last she said: “Young man. you look where you are going and keep both hands on the wheel. I’ll tell you if it starts to rain.” SIGN HERE? Little Johnny, aged seven, had been taken to the zoo to see the animals. He stood before the spotted leopard’s cage for a few minutes, staring intently. Then turning to his mother, he asked: “Say. Ma, is that the dotted lion that everyone wants Dad to sign on?” WELL DEFINED Mrs. Johnson: “Parse the word kiss.” Richard G.: “This word is a noun, but it is usually used as a conjunction. It is never declined. and more common than proper. It is not very singular, in that it is usually used in the plural. It agrees with me.”