Piedmont High School - Tris Yearbook (Piedmont, WV)

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'dlfrfsi snag ged Bus Baldwin: Yeh. Kingsley Skidmore: Well, he's a millionaire now. Bus Baldwin: Oh, is he? Kingsley Skidmore: No, Abie. A traveling salesman returned in a very despondent mood after being on the road a month. His boss noticing his dejection, said: Levi, vy do you look so sad ? Levi replied, I vish I could die and go to hell. Boss: Vy you make such an awful vish, Levi ? Levi: Because every vere I go every merchant says 'Business has gone to hell,' and I vant to go vere business is. A DRAMA By The Kid He struk her, but she uttered not a sound. He struk her agen butt no wurd eskapt her lips. Once moor he hitter on the head-brav thing that she wuz, she did not even Wrimpurr. Then enraged beond awl reezon at her unconcern of his akshuns, the brute uttered a lo oth and began rain- ing bloo after bloo on her pretee little hedd, even skratching her in his mad- nus. Even thru this she had remained silent. Butt flnelly, not being able to stand it eny longer, she heeved a reluktant sputter and berst inta flame. But yu sea she wuz a match for him. Have you a Charles Dickens in your home ? asked a polite book agent. No! she snapped. Or a Robert Louis Stevenson? I UNO !77 Or a Gene Field? No, we ain't, and what's more We don't run a boarding house here either. If you're looking for them fellows, you might try the house across the street. A Definition A A bachelor is a man who looks before he leaps-and then decides not to leap. Prof. Cin quiz sectionj : Who defeated the Israelites Y - Student fcoming out of a day dreaml : I dunno! I don't follow any of these bush league teams. Qualified Merchant: Do you think you know enough to assist in the store? Boy: Know enough? Why I left my last place because the Boss said I knew more than he did! Soph: Between you and me, what do you think of J ack's girl? Fresh: Between you and me, not so much: but alone-oh, boy ! Page ninety-eight

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Higher education is a process of unlearning what we already know. There was a young fellow named Tom Who dropped a big dynamite bomb And now up in Mars They are saying, My stars! Where on earth did he emigrate from ? The head of a large firm, while passing through the packing room, observed a boy sitting on a case of goods and whistling cheerily. The chief stopped and looked at him frowningly. How much do you get a week ? he demanded. Ten dollars, came the brief retort. Then here's a week's money: now clear outf' The boy pocketed the money gleefully and departed. How long has he been in our employ ? the chief inquired of the ship- ping clerk, who was perched nearby on his tall stool. Never, so far as I can remember, was the unexpected reply. He just brought me a package from another firm. ' A city chap was takinga country girl for a ride in his car. Lowering a window, he said: Does that air bother you ? She looked at him dumbly for a moment, then asked: That 'er? 'er what, Bill ? Albert Howard: That's a good looking suit you have on Tom, old boy. Mind giving me the address of your tailor ? Thomas Swann: Not at all. But only on the condition that you do not tell him mine. Paul Thomas Cat Senior Class meetingbz Mr, President, I have a question on the floor. Bus Baldwin: All right, pick it up. Malcom Kight fin village notion storej : Whadya got in the shape of automobile tires ? Saleslady: Funeral wreathes, life preservers, and doughnuts. Not Guilty A tramp had been admitted to the casual ward of an English work- house late one evening, and the following morning he duly appeared before the master. Have you taken a bath this morning ? was the first question he was asked. No, sir, answered the man in astonishment, is there one missing? Dumb: Funny how he isso lucky at cards and then loses his win- nings at the race track. Dumber: Not very funny. They won't let him shuffle the horses! Izzy, is He? Kingsley Skidmore: Say, do you remember Old Man Rosenberg's kid --the fat one ? Page ninety-seven

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viii-+,HSgg1'1 0,..,.Tfi?g., Bring Back, Bring Back- I stood on the deck just at midnight, A strong wind blew over the sea. It swept my hat into the ocean, Oh, bring back my bonnet to me! Unlucky Scotchman A Scotchman who was going to take a trip from Boston to New York by train was told to throw a penny out of the window at every tunnel for good luck. When he returned to Boston he was asked if he had good luck by throwing a penny out of the Window at every tunnel. The Scotchman answered: I had good luck the first three times, but the fourth time I had bad luck. How did you have bad luck at the fourth tunnel? he was asked. The string broke and I lost the penny, he replied. Be natural so We'll all feel more at home. Elton Cherry Cwhile in Petersburgjz They cooked the spaghetti too long. Ellis Cherry: Too long. . Elton Cherry: Sure, about ten inches. I'l1 give you fifty cents if you'll wash your face, said the college pro- fessor to his small son. Keep it and get a hair cut, was the young hopeful's reply. Pal: A gang played poker for ten hours straight on the Glee Club trip. Al: Don't believe it. They couldn't play straight for ten minutes. A Typical Son Friend: What is your son taking up in college, this year?? Dad: Space: nothing but space! What's the fuss in the schoolyard, sonny ? asked a gentleman pass- ing a ward school. Why the doctor's just been around examin' us, an' one of the deficient boys is knockin' the stufiin' out of a perfect kid. Found-One Needlecraft Magazine with the name of Madeline Haines on it. We begin to think that this is a Savage affair. If There's Anything I Can Do For You-- Say, are you going down by the post office ? Uh-huh. Page ninety-nine