Piedmont High School - Tris Yearbook (Piedmont, WV)

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Higher education is a process of unlearning what we already know. There was a young fellow named Tom Who dropped a big dynamite bomb And now up in Mars They are saying, My stars! Where on earth did he emigrate from ? The head of a large firm, while passing through the packing room, observed a boy sitting on a case of goods and whistling cheerily. The chief stopped and looked at him frowningly. How much do you get a week ? he demanded. Ten dollars, came the brief retort. Then here's a week's money: now clear outf' The boy pocketed the money gleefully and departed. How long has he been in our employ ? the chief inquired of the ship- ping clerk, who was perched nearby on his tall stool. Never, so far as I can remember, was the unexpected reply. He just brought me a package from another firm. ' A city chap was takinga country girl for a ride in his car. Lowering a window, he said: Does that air bother you ? She looked at him dumbly for a moment, then asked: That 'er? 'er what, Bill ? Albert Howard: That's a good looking suit you have on Tom, old boy. Mind giving me the address of your tailor ? Thomas Swann: Not at all. But only on the condition that you do not tell him mine. Paul Thomas Cat Senior Class meetingbz Mr, President, I have a question on the floor. Bus Baldwin: All right, pick it up. Malcom Kight fin village notion storej : Whadya got in the shape of automobile tires ? Saleslady: Funeral wreathes, life preservers, and doughnuts. Not Guilty A tramp had been admitted to the casual ward of an English work- house late one evening, and the following morning he duly appeared before the master. Have you taken a bath this morning ? was the first question he was asked. No, sir, answered the man in astonishment, is there one missing? Dumb: Funny how he isso lucky at cards and then loses his win- nings at the race track. Dumber: Not very funny. They won't let him shuffle the horses! Izzy, is He? Kingsley Skidmore: Say, do you remember Old Man Rosenberg's kid --the fat one ? Page ninety-seven

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L-1-11.-....l' I , J U I I L-l--Il ey Urs 1- w C l t 'VT'-i WT Man fto young clerk behind counterj Are you the head of this bus- iness ? Clerk Cwho is the grocer's sonl No, I'm only the heir of the head. Advice to the Freshies-Don't buy thermometers in the summer, they are lower in the Winter. Dear Editor-I am in love With a homely girl, but she doesn't seem to care for me, while a pretty girl with lots of money wants to marry me. What shall I do ? Marry the one you love and send me the name and address of the other one. Lester Athey: Why should every traveler in the desert carry a Watch with him ? Jimmie Wolverton: Because every watch has a spring in it, heh, heh. Take a lesson from the woodpeckerg he uses his head when he works. My rose, he said as he pressed her velvet cheek to his. My cactus, she said, as she encountered his stubble. He heard the toot but tried to scoot And beat the choo-Choo to it. The poor galoot now twangs-a flute. Take heed and d0n't you do it. Jr.: They must have had dress suits in Bible times. Sr.: HoW's that? Jr.: It says in the Bible that 'He rent his clothes'. Trade Names Mazda, you are the light of my life, he passionately cried. And you, Prest-O-Lite, you are the life of my light. Well, I'll be Aetna-Ized, let me hold your Palm, Olive. Not on your Life Buoy. Blue eyes mean you're true: Grey mean you're gracious Q But black eyes merely mean you're blue In several other places. Mr. Cohen on Pizzness Mr. Cohen: Jakey, I take you to my place und teach you the pizznessf' Jakey: Ullright. Mr. Cohen Cat the officelz Jakey, climb up there und took down dot file. fWhich is on top shelf.J Throw it down now, at's the boy. Now jump down, I ketch you. Jakey: All right, fodder fand Jakey jumps as father Walks away- Jakey falls and hurts himselfj. Mr. Cohen: See dot, dot's the first lessong you kent efen trust your own fodder in pizznessf' Page ninety-sfix

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'dlfrfsi snag ged Bus Baldwin: Yeh. Kingsley Skidmore: Well, he's a millionaire now. Bus Baldwin: Oh, is he? Kingsley Skidmore: No, Abie. A traveling salesman returned in a very despondent mood after being on the road a month. His boss noticing his dejection, said: Levi, vy do you look so sad ? Levi replied, I vish I could die and go to hell. Boss: Vy you make such an awful vish, Levi ? Levi: Because every vere I go every merchant says 'Business has gone to hell,' and I vant to go vere business is. A DRAMA By The Kid He struk her, but she uttered not a sound. He struk her agen butt no wurd eskapt her lips. Once moor he hitter on the head-brav thing that she wuz, she did not even Wrimpurr. Then enraged beond awl reezon at her unconcern of his akshuns, the brute uttered a lo oth and began rain- ing bloo after bloo on her pretee little hedd, even skratching her in his mad- nus. Even thru this she had remained silent. Butt flnelly, not being able to stand it eny longer, she heeved a reluktant sputter and berst inta flame. But yu sea she wuz a match for him. Have you a Charles Dickens in your home ? asked a polite book agent. No! she snapped. Or a Robert Louis Stevenson? I UNO !77 Or a Gene Field? No, we ain't, and what's more We don't run a boarding house here either. If you're looking for them fellows, you might try the house across the street. A Definition A A bachelor is a man who looks before he leaps-and then decides not to leap. Prof. Cin quiz sectionj : Who defeated the Israelites Y - Student fcoming out of a day dreaml : I dunno! I don't follow any of these bush league teams. Qualified Merchant: Do you think you know enough to assist in the store? Boy: Know enough? Why I left my last place because the Boss said I knew more than he did! Soph: Between you and me, what do you think of J ack's girl? Fresh: Between you and me, not so much: but alone-oh, boy ! Page ninety-eight