Piedmont High School - Tris Yearbook (Piedmont, WV)

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L-1-11.-....l' I , J U I I L-l--Il ey Urs 1- w C l t 'VT'-i WT Man fto young clerk behind counterj Are you the head of this bus- iness ? Clerk Cwho is the grocer's sonl No, I'm only the heir of the head. Advice to the Freshies-Don't buy thermometers in the summer, they are lower in the Winter. Dear Editor-I am in love With a homely girl, but she doesn't seem to care for me, while a pretty girl with lots of money wants to marry me. What shall I do ? Marry the one you love and send me the name and address of the other one. Lester Athey: Why should every traveler in the desert carry a Watch with him ? Jimmie Wolverton: Because every watch has a spring in it, heh, heh. Take a lesson from the woodpeckerg he uses his head when he works. My rose, he said as he pressed her velvet cheek to his. My cactus, she said, as she encountered his stubble. He heard the toot but tried to scoot And beat the choo-Choo to it. The poor galoot now twangs-a flute. Take heed and d0n't you do it. Jr.: They must have had dress suits in Bible times. Sr.: HoW's that? Jr.: It says in the Bible that 'He rent his clothes'. Trade Names Mazda, you are the light of my life, he passionately cried. And you, Prest-O-Lite, you are the life of my light. Well, I'll be Aetna-Ized, let me hold your Palm, Olive. Not on your Life Buoy. Blue eyes mean you're true: Grey mean you're gracious Q But black eyes merely mean you're blue In several other places. Mr. Cohen on Pizzness Mr. Cohen: Jakey, I take you to my place und teach you the pizznessf' Jakey: Ullright. Mr. Cohen Cat the officelz Jakey, climb up there und took down dot file. fWhich is on top shelf.J Throw it down now, at's the boy. Now jump down, I ketch you. Jakey: All right, fodder fand Jakey jumps as father Walks away- Jakey falls and hurts himselfj. Mr. Cohen: See dot, dot's the first lessong you kent efen trust your own fodder in pizznessf' Page ninety-sfix

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L 0 V,:q,Q5 rm 9, j Son: Well, father, we young fellows aren't exactly unfeeling about the situation ourselves. Virginia Pleasants: Am I the first girl you ever loved? Hoshall: Oh nog but you see my taste has been improving right along. A Scotchman was found dead in front of a one-cent punching machine. The coroner found that death had been caused by over-exertion. Investigation disclosed a sign reading: Your penny returned if you hit hard enough. Don't be afraid to start at the bottom. The roller towel is enjoying a longer run than Uncle Tom's Cabin. We award the prize for bow-leggedness to the student who upon mounting a horse found that he had both feet in the wrong stirrups. Johnnie Cat Poultry Showlz Let's stay until they take the animals out ? Mother: They don't let them out, Johnnie. Johnnie: Yes, Mother, last night dad told Uncle Bill that they would wait after the show and pick up a couple of chickens. You've no kick coming, said the polite dispenser as he handed the customer a glass of near bear. Figure This Out Last year I asked my best girl to marry me but she refused. I got even with her by marrying her mother. Then my father married the girl. Now what am I to myself? When I married the girl's mother the girl be- came my daughter, and when my father married my daughter she became my mother. WHO AM I? My mother's mother, which is my wife, must be my own grandmother, and I being my own grandmother's husband, then am I my own grandfather? Flunking Recipe Take one college sheik, large size, add a peach and a portion of dates. Crush on peach and add several nut rivals. Beat in several quarrels. Dis- solve troubles in liquid stag party. Add more dates with moonshine. Now add a bitter professor and bake in a hotexam room until burned brown. Leona Schoppert: My roommate ate something on the basket ball trip that poisoned her. Eula Freeman: Croquette? Leona Schoppert: Not yet, but she's pretty sick. Malcolm Kight: What is the most dangerous part of your automo- bile ? Stuart Pinnell: I won't even guess. Malcolm Kight: The nut that holds the steering wheel. Page ninety-five ,L--J,

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Higher education is a process of unlearning what we already know. There was a young fellow named Tom Who dropped a big dynamite bomb And now up in Mars They are saying, My stars! Where on earth did he emigrate from ? The head of a large firm, while passing through the packing room, observed a boy sitting on a case of goods and whistling cheerily. The chief stopped and looked at him frowningly. How much do you get a week ? he demanded. Ten dollars, came the brief retort. Then here's a week's money: now clear outf' The boy pocketed the money gleefully and departed. How long has he been in our employ ? the chief inquired of the ship- ping clerk, who was perched nearby on his tall stool. Never, so far as I can remember, was the unexpected reply. He just brought me a package from another firm. ' A city chap was takinga country girl for a ride in his car. Lowering a window, he said: Does that air bother you ? She looked at him dumbly for a moment, then asked: That 'er? 'er what, Bill ? Albert Howard: That's a good looking suit you have on Tom, old boy. Mind giving me the address of your tailor ? Thomas Swann: Not at all. But only on the condition that you do not tell him mine. Paul Thomas Cat Senior Class meetingbz Mr, President, I have a question on the floor. Bus Baldwin: All right, pick it up. Malcom Kight fin village notion storej : Whadya got in the shape of automobile tires ? Saleslady: Funeral wreathes, life preservers, and doughnuts. Not Guilty A tramp had been admitted to the casual ward of an English work- house late one evening, and the following morning he duly appeared before the master. Have you taken a bath this morning ? was the first question he was asked. No, sir, answered the man in astonishment, is there one missing? Dumb: Funny how he isso lucky at cards and then loses his win- nings at the race track. Dumber: Not very funny. They won't let him shuffle the horses! Izzy, is He? Kingsley Skidmore: Say, do you remember Old Man Rosenberg's kid --the fat one ? Page ninety-seven