Piedmont High School - Tris Yearbook (Piedmont, WV)

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L 0 V,:q,Q5 rm 9, j Son: Well, father, we young fellows aren't exactly unfeeling about the situation ourselves. Virginia Pleasants: Am I the first girl you ever loved? Hoshall: Oh nog but you see my taste has been improving right along. A Scotchman was found dead in front of a one-cent punching machine. The coroner found that death had been caused by over-exertion. Investigation disclosed a sign reading: Your penny returned if you hit hard enough. Don't be afraid to start at the bottom. The roller towel is enjoying a longer run than Uncle Tom's Cabin. We award the prize for bow-leggedness to the student who upon mounting a horse found that he had both feet in the wrong stirrups. Johnnie Cat Poultry Showlz Let's stay until they take the animals out ? Mother: They don't let them out, Johnnie. Johnnie: Yes, Mother, last night dad told Uncle Bill that they would wait after the show and pick up a couple of chickens. You've no kick coming, said the polite dispenser as he handed the customer a glass of near bear. Figure This Out Last year I asked my best girl to marry me but she refused. I got even with her by marrying her mother. Then my father married the girl. Now what am I to myself? When I married the girl's mother the girl be- came my daughter, and when my father married my daughter she became my mother. WHO AM I? My mother's mother, which is my wife, must be my own grandmother, and I being my own grandmother's husband, then am I my own grandfather? Flunking Recipe Take one college sheik, large size, add a peach and a portion of dates. Crush on peach and add several nut rivals. Beat in several quarrels. Dis- solve troubles in liquid stag party. Add more dates with moonshine. Now add a bitter professor and bake in a hotexam room until burned brown. Leona Schoppert: My roommate ate something on the basket ball trip that poisoned her. Eula Freeman: Croquette? Leona Schoppert: Not yet, but she's pretty sick. Malcolm Kight: What is the most dangerous part of your automo- bile ? Stuart Pinnell: I won't even guess. Malcolm Kight: The nut that holds the steering wheel. Page ninety-five ,L--J,

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H-ii' xs , A 'I jx' Q-I2 Urns 9, ., Alzene Goshorn: And why not ? Mary Fanto: Because they are slippery Elms. Eva Abramson: I'd like to get a watch chain, please. Grocer: This is a grocery, not a jewelry store. Eva Abramson: Why some one told me that this is a chain store. Margaret Pinnell: I think it's perfectly terrible the way you lead men on. Thelma Schoppert: Lead men on? Don't make me laugh. It's all I can do to hold them backf' Beans Beckner: Do you think you can live on S40 a week ? Nellie White: Sure-but what will you do ? Bessie Weaver: Don't you think Tosti's 'Goodbye' is thrilling ? Elvie Smith: I don't know him, But I'll bet it can't beat Leon's. Gladys Dawson: I'm losing my mind! Bubbles Smith: What makes you think so ? Gladys Dawson: I can't remember what I was worrying about. Thelma Coddington: What is a synonym ? Mary K. Lovenstein: A word that means the same as a word you can't spell. Thelma Coddington: You're wrong. That's the stuff they put on buns in the bakery. Why in such a hurry ? My stocking is running and I have to keep up with it. First Flea: Where will you send little Hoppy when he grows up ? Second Flea: Oh, I suppose he'll go to the dogs like his father. While Mr. Rhodes was in Pittsburgh he went into Cohen's Book Store. and asked: Have you a copy of 'Who's Who' and 'What's What' by Jerome K. Jerome ? Cohen replied: No, sir, but ve got 'Who's He and Vat's He Got,' by Bradstreet. I had a certain recipe For making good home brew, My friend-he added T N T It didn't brew-it blew! College Grad's Mother: Here's a letter from our boy at last. The Old Man: Has he got a job yet ? Mother: Yes, he's Washing dishes in a restaurant. 1 The Old Man: That's good. He told us he was gonna clean up a mi lion. CVoice from dark secluded corner of sorority porchl. You are my sweet daddy, aren't you, dear ? Father Cwalking by with sonjz Ahem! By George, son, it sort of touches us old fellows-things like that. . Page ninet y- four

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L-1-11.-....l' I , J U I I L-l--Il ey Urs 1- w C l t 'VT'-i WT Man fto young clerk behind counterj Are you the head of this bus- iness ? Clerk Cwho is the grocer's sonl No, I'm only the heir of the head. Advice to the Freshies-Don't buy thermometers in the summer, they are lower in the Winter. Dear Editor-I am in love With a homely girl, but she doesn't seem to care for me, while a pretty girl with lots of money wants to marry me. What shall I do ? Marry the one you love and send me the name and address of the other one. Lester Athey: Why should every traveler in the desert carry a Watch with him ? Jimmie Wolverton: Because every watch has a spring in it, heh, heh. Take a lesson from the woodpeckerg he uses his head when he works. My rose, he said as he pressed her velvet cheek to his. My cactus, she said, as she encountered his stubble. He heard the toot but tried to scoot And beat the choo-Choo to it. The poor galoot now twangs-a flute. Take heed and d0n't you do it. Jr.: They must have had dress suits in Bible times. Sr.: HoW's that? Jr.: It says in the Bible that 'He rent his clothes'. Trade Names Mazda, you are the light of my life, he passionately cried. And you, Prest-O-Lite, you are the life of my light. Well, I'll be Aetna-Ized, let me hold your Palm, Olive. Not on your Life Buoy. Blue eyes mean you're true: Grey mean you're gracious Q But black eyes merely mean you're blue In several other places. Mr. Cohen on Pizzness Mr. Cohen: Jakey, I take you to my place und teach you the pizznessf' Jakey: Ullright. Mr. Cohen Cat the officelz Jakey, climb up there und took down dot file. fWhich is on top shelf.J Throw it down now, at's the boy. Now jump down, I ketch you. Jakey: All right, fodder fand Jakey jumps as father Walks away- Jakey falls and hurts himselfj. Mr. Cohen: See dot, dot's the first lessong you kent efen trust your own fodder in pizznessf' Page ninety-sfix