Piedmont High School - Tris Yearbook (Piedmont, WV)

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H-ii' xs , A 'I jx' Q-I2 Urns 9, ., Alzene Goshorn: And why not ? Mary Fanto: Because they are slippery Elms. Eva Abramson: I'd like to get a watch chain, please. Grocer: This is a grocery, not a jewelry store. Eva Abramson: Why some one told me that this is a chain store. Margaret Pinnell: I think it's perfectly terrible the way you lead men on. Thelma Schoppert: Lead men on? Don't make me laugh. It's all I can do to hold them backf' Beans Beckner: Do you think you can live on S40 a week ? Nellie White: Sure-but what will you do ? Bessie Weaver: Don't you think Tosti's 'Goodbye' is thrilling ? Elvie Smith: I don't know him, But I'll bet it can't beat Leon's. Gladys Dawson: I'm losing my mind! Bubbles Smith: What makes you think so ? Gladys Dawson: I can't remember what I was worrying about. Thelma Coddington: What is a synonym ? Mary K. Lovenstein: A word that means the same as a word you can't spell. Thelma Coddington: You're wrong. That's the stuff they put on buns in the bakery. Why in such a hurry ? My stocking is running and I have to keep up with it. First Flea: Where will you send little Hoppy when he grows up ? Second Flea: Oh, I suppose he'll go to the dogs like his father. While Mr. Rhodes was in Pittsburgh he went into Cohen's Book Store. and asked: Have you a copy of 'Who's Who' and 'What's What' by Jerome K. Jerome ? Cohen replied: No, sir, but ve got 'Who's He and Vat's He Got,' by Bradstreet. I had a certain recipe For making good home brew, My friend-he added T N T It didn't brew-it blew! College Grad's Mother: Here's a letter from our boy at last. The Old Man: Has he got a job yet ? Mother: Yes, he's Washing dishes in a restaurant. 1 The Old Man: That's good. He told us he was gonna clean up a mi lion. CVoice from dark secluded corner of sorority porchl. You are my sweet daddy, aren't you, dear ? Father Cwalking by with sonjz Ahem! By George, son, it sort of touches us old fellows-things like that. . Page ninet y- four

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HS This 0 There was a young lady of Harrow Who oft went to church in a barrow As it stuck in the aisle, She said with a smile, They build these here churches too narrow. Clothes That Passed in the Night- Miss Suter: fAfter the first night on board shipl- I say where have my clothes gone ? Steward: Where did you put them? Miss Suter: In that little cupboard there, with the glass door to it. Steward: Bless me, miss, that ain't no cupboard. That's a portholef' Susie Cherry: I'll call brother if you try to kiss me again. Wilt: How old is your brother ? Susie: Three 1 Dead! Dead! On a Lonely Hill! ' He had choked herg he had killed her. There could be no doubt about it. He listened to her dying gasp 3 she was still and cold-cold as the hand of death. Yet, in his fury, he was not convinced. He stepped on her-stepped on her again, with his big heavy foot. A faint gasp-was she groaning? No, she was still-dead. Darn that engine, he muttered. Discharged clerk: Hello, Boss. I'm back. Boss: I see you are. For what reason ? D. C.: I read in that letter where I was fired, but on the envelope, it said, 'After five days return to Smith Sz Co.' Ruth Schoppert: Who is that fellow with the long hair ? Winnie Butler: He's a fellow from Yale. Ruth Schoppert: O, I've often heard of those Yale locks. A traveling man named Phipps, Got married on one of his trips To a widow named Blochg But what was his shock When he found she had six little chips. Stuart Pinnell: I knowafellow who was all smashed up in a rail- road accident and won't even admit he was hurt. Kenneth Klencke: He must be a Christian Scientist. Stuart Pinnell: No, president of the road. I have some raw materal here, remarked the editor of the humor- ous publication. Alzene Goshorn: I swear by these tall Elm trees in yonder park that I- Mary Fanto: Cinterruptingj Swear not by them. Page ninety-three

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L 0 V,:q,Q5 rm 9, j Son: Well, father, we young fellows aren't exactly unfeeling about the situation ourselves. Virginia Pleasants: Am I the first girl you ever loved? Hoshall: Oh nog but you see my taste has been improving right along. A Scotchman was found dead in front of a one-cent punching machine. The coroner found that death had been caused by over-exertion. Investigation disclosed a sign reading: Your penny returned if you hit hard enough. Don't be afraid to start at the bottom. The roller towel is enjoying a longer run than Uncle Tom's Cabin. We award the prize for bow-leggedness to the student who upon mounting a horse found that he had both feet in the wrong stirrups. Johnnie Cat Poultry Showlz Let's stay until they take the animals out ? Mother: They don't let them out, Johnnie. Johnnie: Yes, Mother, last night dad told Uncle Bill that they would wait after the show and pick up a couple of chickens. You've no kick coming, said the polite dispenser as he handed the customer a glass of near bear. Figure This Out Last year I asked my best girl to marry me but she refused. I got even with her by marrying her mother. Then my father married the girl. Now what am I to myself? When I married the girl's mother the girl be- came my daughter, and when my father married my daughter she became my mother. WHO AM I? My mother's mother, which is my wife, must be my own grandmother, and I being my own grandmother's husband, then am I my own grandfather? Flunking Recipe Take one college sheik, large size, add a peach and a portion of dates. Crush on peach and add several nut rivals. Beat in several quarrels. Dis- solve troubles in liquid stag party. Add more dates with moonshine. Now add a bitter professor and bake in a hotexam room until burned brown. Leona Schoppert: My roommate ate something on the basket ball trip that poisoned her. Eula Freeman: Croquette? Leona Schoppert: Not yet, but she's pretty sick. Malcolm Kight: What is the most dangerous part of your automo- bile ? Stuart Pinnell: I won't even guess. Malcolm Kight: The nut that holds the steering wheel. Page ninety-five ,L--J,