Piedmont High School - Tris Yearbook (Piedmont, WV)

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Pap: I've jusrt had breakfast. Officer makes note of confession on his cuff and samples fruit jar. He passes ofut. One of the Lictor Bearers dlrinks the remainder of the licker and smlacks his lips. He lights a cigarette and bursfts into flames. The as- bestos curtain catches fire. Roof and side walls next and audience ignfites while the orchestra plays Nero's version of tmhe Roman Nartional Anthem. Theatre falls. Act 2 will be played when the theatre fits rebuilt. INFORMATION BUREAU by I. Knowitall Q. How many games has the girls' basket ball team won? Bruce Dunn. A. All th-ose they haven't lost. Count that lup. Q. Who told Horace Richards thlat he was a good 'basket ball player? Orville Yokum. ' A. That fellow is as hard to find as an escaped convict from Sing Sing. Q. Is there any chance off Mary Powers getting married? Morris H. A. Not unless she puts an ad in a matrimonial paper and then the case is doubtful. Q. Is there any chnannce of my getting to play on the first team ? Adolph Abramson. A. Not unless you go back to the Sopbhomore Class. Q. Who told Natalie DiBitet'to that she was cute ? Melvin S. A. Nobody, you can see it with one eye. Q. When is a clock on the stairs dangerosus? Herbert Mullan. A. When it runs down and strikes one. Q. What's all over this house? Picky Boon. A. The rooff. Q. Why is a sltick of candy like a horse? Bus Whisner. A. Beoaluse the more you lick it fthe faster it goes. Q. Who told Catherine Conners she was good looking? Vida Largent. A. That person is as hard to find as snow shoes in Africa. Q. Why did Ethel Wilderman get off at the Junction? Nellie LaRue. A. Because there was nothing left on the train. Q. Why is Tiny like a music box? Picky Boon. A. Because she's full of airs. Q. Which is the flavorilte word with women? John Crist. A. The last one. Q. Why is a coward like a leaky ibarrel? Enid Ours. A. Because they both run. g Page one hundred twenty-tue -Q.. ., ..,

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Norman Jenkins: Hot water. Troxell Millerls motto: A wise old owl sat -on an oak, 'Ilhe more he saw the less he spokeg The less he spoke, the more he heard. Why can't we all be like that old bird ? Miss Miltenberger: The picture of uthe horse is good, but where is the wagon ? Eldred Green: Oh, the horse will draw that. Herbert Mullan: Once I loved a girl but she made a fool out of me. Mildred Skidmore: What a lasting impression some girls make. Harold in his car which is skidding down Kenny House hill: O Lord, I ask nothing for myself, but please save Dad's car. The six best books of the month: Leaky Oversh-ces by Iva Cold. Shadows at the Window by Seymore Peeking. The White Race by Abel Torun. The Girl I Left Behind by Pastor Upip. The Pullman Porter by Caesar Bagy. Scratched by Ivan Awfulitich. 2 Act Drama of Kentucky Hills Scene: Kentucky mountain cabin with two chairs, table, bed, fireplace and a keg for furnishings. Still in chimney corner. Time: Eastern standard. Mountain girl, clad in simple ermine evening gown' with 'braided hair and very small. feet, enters hurriedly through hole in side of scenery. MPa, there be trouble in the air. CPa sniffs audiblyj Yer right, Lou. But I calcrate we can 'still it out.f' Not that, Pa. I seen tracks on the path as I come from the crekf' Now gal, you mustn't believe what you hear iabouit them trolley cars in the city. Maybe it was only an autermobilef' N ot sled tracks, Pap, foot tracks. CArgumenit interrupted here by entrance of revenue officers and six lictor bears with jugs and lemon vines. Head glue foot looks inexperienced and stutters.J Are yfou a bootblack ? No, I'm a Methodist. CRevenue officer tastes licker and fiallls in dead fa.int.J fLou recognizing him as the man she has known in Louisville, powders her nose and falls on his bo-dy, prostrated with terror.J Head revenue officer: Do you make whisky ? CPap scratches his head roundly and stairs blanklyj Page our hundred tfwenty-onr I ..,,-..,,,,,-......,.,..,,,,,... --fe 'W r M, 1 -., - , . '

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Famous Bedtime Stories Three-thirty, Oh dad, your watch must be wrong. Well, we had wal flat tire--, John, I hear a noise downstairs---, You know I never look at another wonnam--- Yes mother, he's putting on this coat now--- Gosh, no, you've got the wrong number-, There, now you've waked the baby--, At the club, of course, where else oould I be? You are the most su- spicious womani-, lKMe-Owii-T 39 KK If CK IK H Murderer Wanted Well, he said, scratching his head, it's better'n nothing. Anylhow I'm going in and ask for the job. Boss fconsidering the ,applicantbz What time is your gnandmother to be buried ? D Boy fabsent mindedlyj : We're supposed to kick off at three-thirty, sir. Mr. Rhodes fin Englishj : What do the two words, 'Post Script' mean? Bruce D. fjust waking upl : Adeline, just Adeline. Mr. Rhodes: Correct P. S. means add a line. Sue Fredlock to Marie Walsh: If brains were cloth you Wouldnlt hiawe enough to make a flee a pair of leggingsf' Love's Labor Lost. Playing la hand orgian in front of a deaf and dumb asylum. Affectionate pie-The upper named lower crusts are dead stuck ou each other. Mary Butler: Speaking of small babies, my father only weighed ft-hree pounds at birth. Lucy Harlowe: And did he live ? A little bee sat on a tree, and then he sat on me, Oh Gee. Eva Abramson was 'unable to oome to school last week on aocount of the heavy snow. fall which measured four feet. Norman Hofiau flocking at the skulls in Mr. Denny's roomj : Wonder Page one hundred twenty-thrfe ...- A WX.. wi. -f. f1-lr-422 . ' '