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Page 11 text:
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PICKERING FIFTEH HDUFIS or 4, lu- , ' f xv- f . . .. , Wifi 1 5 f J st -' ' lf. -Q 4 ' -f ff V' ' ' -' Xl 1 P T-TB '. I I I I in -'WA -- V1 1 i P l T ' WPT U l Q? , . YTQT I, , j t , Grass-roots justice: After the Bird-man of Cape Breton stealthily crept along the Red House corridor in order to flip the lair of one Bear, he returned to his own nest only to discover it had been flipped while he was out. You are what you eat: Gonzo and Arnold were cooking their daily dinner-hour snack of English muffins with cream cheese when Shorten turned up at the door. In an effort to hide their illegal fare, Gonzo and Arnold placed it under the desk. We all know about the old socks and laundry down there. When Julian and Rabbit hid the green door, nobody noticed and nobody cared. That says something about the prank, doesn't it, boys? As J.J. and the Birdman lhow does it feel to rate a double-play?l pushed Lug up the hill in a shopping cart, one of our finest sped by. To avoid being caught by the con- stabulary, they pushed the cart into some bushes. What they didn't know was the bushes were at the top of a hill. Lug has forsworn roller coasters for a year. The grey lady must have friends. One night they all dropped in to see Luci - short for Lucifer. What the ghostly visitors were chanting was not exactly Reggae but Luci boogied anyway. Pentacles work, don't they, Dagget? Bimbo the birthday clown ob- tained a new stereo this year. We applaud the acquisition but would like to know the name of the wag who gave him a copy of Debbie Boone's hit single - You Light Up My Life. While J.J. and the Black Knight aren't quite as notable as B.J. and the Bear, the Sherriff of Stratford is interested in these two gentlemen who par- ticipated in his elevation to Sherriff of Birmingham. Anchors away. boys! i i t BIRTHDAY SUIT MEETS BIRTHDAY CLOWN: The Bird- man lagain? A triple play?l was at it again. According to people at the Eireman's ball, it was quite an evening but really not full enough to split at the seams. Later, after returning to The Overlook, he was caught short. About to jump into bed, he decided to visit the can - in the altogether. Cavorting back along th corridor, he inadvertently bumped into Bimbo. Bimbo's only remark: Too bad! Kids from Cape Breton don't have many toys. THAT'S THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES: After a brief visit to an Italian friend in Newmarket and a long ride to Finch Station, Fred Wafer was befuddled and confused. There was a pretty cookie at the other end of the bench. There was something about the cookie that Wafer liked but he couldn't put his finger on it. Fred learned that you can't slip a Ritz under anything at all. Jamaica's Daily Tribune carried the following want ad: Does shoe size mean anything? Junior wants to know. if Y W The bird in the hand or the bird in the bush? One Bunny needed an answer to this quandary at the Drama Festival at Crescent. An ad ran in the local Hilltop Times: Pianist wanted for secret society la closet clubl. Apply to Poncho, Wilbur or the Black Knight. Beachball is always down in the room of Jersey Milk and Valentine late at night. I guess he's just candy store crazy. BIG-MAN-ON-CAMPUS DE- PARTMENT: Take Wilbur and Birdman at Alma as examples. What does it take to impress Guber and Bonehead? Grade 10? Graham Cracker kidnapped? Incest is best they say but who would believe that the mad Cracker would actually try it? And then to stand her up after making such an assignation? A good thing someone took him in hand and made sure that he attended the dance. The following appeared in a recent issue of The Hilltop Times. WANT- ED: A full-length mirror. See Butter. LOST AND FOUND DEPART- MENT: Julian lost his purse in the Gallery one night. One of the ladies turned to another and said, Is this yours? Julian had to come back and claim the hand-bag. From both ladies. 7
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Page 10 text:
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A PERSONAL WORD FROM THE HEADMASTER Why? Why do we value education? We look round and observe a dynamic struggle between action and thought, between the forces of good and evil, between the hunters and the medicine men. The implication is that education, what and how much you know, is not what counts. but how much power you have so as to ensure personal survival. Man's search for knowledge has led him to explore the sky above, the earth below. His continuing quest has left him unsatisfied because the primary issue, his selfishness, has not been resolved. Selfishness held firm in the breasts of modern Cains, slays modern Abels. Certainly the purpose of education is to develop our human capacity to overcome our selfishness. We are instructed to learn the arts of peace: - to follow the Golden Rule - to place our talents at the service of mankind - to seek not to destroy, but to fulfil - to live out the two Great Commandments: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the Second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. St. Matthew 22:37-39. lf we value our education, then we have no choice but to become Seekers who find the ways of peace, Seekers who develop the kinds of relationships that take away the occasion for all strife: Seekers who bring a little closer the Kingdom of God on earth. Sheldon H. Clark June 19, 1980
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Page 12 text:
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As I entered the second turn ofthe last lap in the Indy 500.A' I was glued to the car in first place When we entered the turn about 1000 feet from the end. I started to force the first place car in the turn and we hit the maximum vertical elevation Then lsuddenly turned the wheel to the left and gave my engine full power Like a bullet. my car shot past the lead car through to the finish line I was able to keep him behind me My first victory! Ifelt that I was on top of the world Then a beautiful blond came and helped me out of the car. She leaned over and bit my ear. She started to tell what really turned her on Well, Ilike a guy that Rrrriiinnnggll. ' , I rolled over in the bed cursing the bell for its timing The bed was too comfortable to get out of I willjust lie here and relax for a minute. RRRinnggglll Oh' That was the 7:55 bell. Better get going or Mr. McLaren will be on my back for missing breakfast Iam not sure it wouldnt be healthy to miss it anyway. Wowl Look at the snow' Too bad. the guys back in Singapore wouldnt have believed the snow It was so cold that it made my face and hands turn very red lgot my shoes on and ran over to Rogers' House. Ifell and slipped on my way overfrom Firth and landed in a snowbank. lgot up and gave the patch of ice a real mean word. Ishivered as I ran down the corridor to the dining hall It smelled like we were having eggs again. Eggs are terrible. I entered the dining hall and I was immediately told to tuck my shirt in. and to be more prompt next time. And also I was told to be out by 8:15. Good morning to you gentlemen. May your scrambled eggs have shells in them just like mine The linefor food was normally long. The people were dozing quietly as they waited their turn Some have hair that grows in every direction. and some are trying to open their eyes At last. I got my scrambled eggs and 'tblack toast I got the feeling that I was in a refugee camp. Well. the eggs are a little cold. but I think that it must be good for me Icame out of the kitchen and looked for the juice The juice cooler was empty and I can tell by the large puddle lying on the floor. that it is orange juice I guess I can handle starting a day without juice I sat down with all my friends They looked as awake as I was: I shook a little pepper on my eggs. I was all set 8 STUDY May your scrambled eggs have shells in them - just like mine. Q 1 Ji I ll to eat. Ipicked it up and put it into my mouth. ICrunch!. . . Oh. my GodlShellsl. Iknew that it was going to be one of those days. I left the dining hall and was told to go to make my bed and clean the room. Ohl Come on, give me a break. As I walked back to Firth House. I made sure that I avoided the ice patches. As I reached the door, a real strong gust of wind blew a cloud of snow up my pants. How I love winterl Such a good time! As I came into my room. Mr. Taylor is checking it. It was even for marks today. Just my luck. He said that our room is the worst one in Firth House. This looked bad for my roommate and I. Worst in Firth House. that is. Quite bad. My roommate, Dean Nicholson, was trying to hide all the mess under the desk and the bed. But it wasn't doing any good at all. We still received the same old fellow, non-satis. I was sick of the marks. The room itself is very small, with chairs. tables, beds. towels. Mr. Taylor suggested that I use a shovel. Very funny. He is so funny at 8:20 in the morning. No sense in getting mad. Mightjust as well get cleaning. RRRrrinnng. Those bells are getting on my nerves. Already 8:40. The day is in full swing andlstill remain neutral. Bad scene, Dean usually will curse at anything and I am learning well from a teacher with experience. I am fairly lucky to have such a roommate. He is kind, and patient with me when he helps me in English. I also help him in math. He has so many stories that he keeps me listening for the whole study time. He tells me all the things he does and it is hard to imagine a lifestyle so different from mine, Ireally enjoy every minute of it. Igrab all the necessary books and head off for English. I enjoy English, but it is very difficult. Itry, but the ideas do not stay in my mind too long. I sat down and set myself to work. The bells rings and the first three classes are over. Recess. Time for a break. Iwent back to my room, stopping in at all my friends' rooms on the way. They are all sitting in their big rooms. Ohl I could really use a room like theirs. Everyone is fine this morning. I felt really good this morning. The best thing about recess is that I have my spare right after it. That makes for a good hour. Sometimes I do homework from the first two classes. Other times I read a letter from my parents or I write to them. Oh boy! I really miss them. It is so
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