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Page 31 text:
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The jazz bands of Charles Carter and Tommy Pinion arc fighting for first place in the public eye. johnny Little is the first man to have a hotdog stand at the North Pole. Bob Hofer and Sam Brasher, now know as the Purple Phantom and Ape Man, arc two main attritions at wrestling arenas. Mayer Cohen has resigned as Secretary of the Treasury. It was the first time the U. S. was suffering from inflation and depression at the same time. Charles Walker has formed a troupe of auto daredevils with Raymond Weaver, Billy Morgan, and Conrad Walker as featured attractions. World-renown automotive engineer David Bowers is still trying to learn how to speed-shift. Sylvia Key has been named Woman of the Year in the Secretarial field. Ace reliefer Bobby Boston of the Norwood Hoopers baseball team has announced rhat next year he will hold out for a pay hike that will make his salary S3 a season. We wish him luck. Charles Adams has been recognized for his Photography work with a hopped-up Brownie Special. Golden-throated tenor Jerome Billings reveals plans for a world tour as a follow up of Mario Lanza. Kenneth Brown and Buddy Peake arc still battling it out for the quarterback spot, this year on the Saskatchewan Caribous. Hydrogen bomb expert and tiddle-winks champion Ben Chastain announces a new theory of relative electromagnetic manifestations of sun spots. Just ask him. Betty Ann Crowe Bryant has lx.cn forced to move again as her bail.playing husband has been sold to Toronto by New York. Generals Grover Gilliland and Bobby Fortner are leading maneuvers at Camp Spillihp in Alabama. Hie selection of Ann Freeman as Miss America cainc as a surprise to no one. Three nun basketball, in which all players are over 6'3' is now being perfected by Bid Montgomery. Don Lavender and Hugh Jones. In contrast to these giants. Jane Parker, Annette Hawkins and Dot Hughes now specialize in Dresses for the Demure sold only to those under 5 2 . Editor Mar)’ Ann Prouty of the Inglville, Tex. Sum-Times! now publishes her list of the Ten Best Dressed Men in Inglville. Included of course is Don Middleton. Temple Shirley’ has gained new fame by changing her name to Monroe Marilyn. Our next review will appear in 2000—if we’re still around, that is. —Charier Mac Samara, Dan Roper
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Page 30 text:
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News Bulletin-1973 Mr. ami Mrs. South and Souih-of-South United States, let’s go to press! As in our custom, we will give you a brief summary of the events of this year, 1973. Professor William Hendrix and Professor Richard Anderson were named President and Vice-President of the American College of Surgeons. The Mother of the Year for 1973 is none other than the former Nell Henderson. Flash! Conrad McCrary recently signed a contract to star in a new scries of Tarzan films. Davey Jones. James Tatum, and Welton Lockhart were given ten-year contracts as head coaches at Tennessee, Alabama, and Oklahoma, following unbeaten seasons. Don Gore and Peggy Hamby arc appearing in a T-V comedy program sponsored by Gainweight Dogfood. Flash! The naming of Fran Picker as head warden of Alcatraz was greeted with riots. Bryan Hutcheson opened his own models' school. This was his ambition even in high school. Some of the models are Jo Ann Bland, Catherine George, Pat Henderson and Eloisc Stanton, who appear in the fabulous creations of Aubrey Barnard and Jerry Daily. This year’s Academy Award went to Carol Abbott for her superb portrayal of Scarlet O’Hara in a remake of Gone with the Wind. This lavish production was directed by James Jones. Some members of the faculty at Phillips are Virgina Milstead, gym teacher; Tommy Stores, physics; Jewell Waldrop, art; and Jo Ann Fosset. biolog)'. The firm of Glenn Hicks and William Prickett has signed a contract to construct a 118-story building for the Bill Gandy Toothpick Company. The tremendous mural depicting the invention of the toothpick will be painted by John Lancaster and Jeanette DiChiara. The National Democratic Convention in 1972 named Erncttc Cantrell as candidate for the Vice-presidency. Unfortunately, the Democrats lost their sixth straight presidential election. Virginia Rancont’s latest volume of poetry, ’Snowflakes on an Elephant's Back” was published by the John White Publishing Company. Jane Thomas has smashed all box-office records in the Metropolitan’s version of Aida. Much credit is due to Marvin Hallmark, director of the Met. Carol Handley’s latest love novel, Down Among the Sheltering Palms, was just banned in Boston.
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