Philadelphia Osteopathic Hospital School of Nursing - Cranium Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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BUREAU OF INFORMATION AND COMPLAINTS Dear Sirs: During a recent bull session (customary in any nurses ' home, not excluding Su- pervisors), unknown to those participating in trivial comments, a dictaphone was set in order. Upon reviewing the scene, we wondered what could be done to help these situations: — To those who complain about the food — may they be made to live on bread and water for at least a week in order that they may learn to appreciate the carbon- copied menus used from week to week, or should we say year to year? Now take those who complain about the mice in the nurses ' home. Think of the explaining that would have to be done if the missing crackers could not be blamed on those pesky rascals, or dark circled eyes could not be blamed on sleep- less nights due to those rodents dancing in waste-paper baskets. By the way, could periscopes be installed in the nurses ' home so that fond farewells could be viewed more easily by those who are interested? If roof gardens cannot be provided for sun bathing, the least that could be done is a comfortable padding on the fire escapes. Concerning overnight passes — surely nurses could be trusted at least once a month. You know a change of scenery often refreshes a lost interest. Now this business about being late for class. You must realize that a nurse is not late for class because she came in after the hour, but because the Doctor beat her to it. Well, sir, I could tell you a whole lot more, but the hour is growing late, and I guess you have enough to keep you busy for awhile. Yours for relief, THE STAFF. Nurse — ' Didn ' t you go down to the Osteopath ' s today? Patient — No, I was kneaded at home. Doctor — What is Pyemia? Greene — Pyemia is an accumulation of unknown substances in the blood stream which produces an uncontrollable appetite for pastries. The patient is known as a ' cake eater. ' Miss Blockley (in morning report) — All the tonsils had a good night. Miss Osteopathy — Were they well pillared? THE CRANIUM, 1937 Page Forty-six

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P— for all nurses have, it is said. O— stands for OSTEOPATHY, loved by us all. S— stands for STRENGTH, to our Maker we call. T— for TRADITION, for which we must stand. E— for EARNINGS we all hope to land. O — is for ONWARD, we must keep ahead. PATIENCE, PATIENTS, A — is for ANXIETY, which must not be shown. T— is for TIBIA, the name of a bone. H — stands for HEALTH, our best bet, it is said. I — for INITIATIVE, if we would not always be led. C — stands for CHRIST, who is really the head. H — stands for HEAVEN, may we all enter there. O — stands for ORDER, the nurses ' bug bear. S — is for SONGS that we sing when we ' re glad. P — stands for PRIDE in some things we have had. I — means one IDEAL for spiritual truth. T— is for TRUSTING, the acme of youth. A — stands for AMBITION, success in the end. L — is for LOVE, — so love brother and friend. Margaret Douglas. e s FAMILIAR EXPRESSIONS When I was at P. G. H. And the dear knows what not Good enough As it were Bye-bye Good afternoon, boys and girls What do the scissors say? Now don ' t tell anybody but Who has candy? Haven ' t you got that done yet? Ohhh M-o-t-h-e-r!!! It ' s 10:30 girls Jeepers Creepers Without a doubt Well, I don ' t give a darn 1 La-La — Stradtman Oh, how dumb Wake me up at six o ' clock (ho! ha!) If you don ' t put parsley on it I ' ll haunt you Where are you from? How much did he pay? THE CRANIUM, 1937 Page Forty-five

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THE CRANIUM, 1937 Page Forty-seven