Philadelphia Osteopathic Hospital School of Nursing - Cranium Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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THE NURSERY NURSES ' PSALM The class is my bug bear, I shall not pass, It maketh me to study in a stuffy room. It leadeth me to troubles unseen. It dampeneth my soul. It leadeth me in the paths of doctors for education ' s sake. Yea tho I look thru the books of the medics, I will learn nothing, for I cannot study, but the pictures and sketches they fascinate me. It prepareth slight knowledge before me, in the presence of my state boards. It filleth my head with facts, but they will not stay there. Surely troubles and mistakes shall follow ms all my life and I shall dwell in the class of the dumbbells forever. M. I. G. THE CRANIUM, 1937 Page Forty-one

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IF If you can please the T. S. O. and the Doctors, The superintendent and the patients, too, The patients ' families and the senior nurses ' Twould seem that you have quite enough to do. If you can please the czarins of the pantry, The Napoleons who massage and bathe the hall, And yell at you for not walking on the ceiling, Or smile when you have lost your beau ' s phone call. If you can please the Internes and House Doctors, And hold your tongue when bunk they try to pass, Or when chambermaids and elevator workers Think your day is lost without their sass. If you can stay your tears when in the drug room They ask you when and why you want their wares, Send you back to your ward to get prescriptions, And make you climb what seems a million stairs. If you are serving two months in the OR. With tie my gown or hand me this and that, The wild excitement of the Doctors scolding. Still don ' t give up and leave your training flat. If you don ' t swear the night you ' ve got a heavy And are informed it ' s your turn to relieve, If you still stick when lying tongues run rampant, That those in charge seem disposed to believe. If you glide past them at nearly daybreak, Sign the book and make it look like ten, If you can fool the matron and the nurses When you go capless for a walk around the block. If you can keep your head when bells around you Are ringing till you don ' t know what to do. If you can keep your heart when handsome internes Are losing theirs and blaming it on you. If now that you have finished all your training You can look back upon the life as mild Yours is the earth, but I am here to tell you You ' ll not be a nurse, you ' ll be a saint my child. -Selected. THE CRANIUM, 1937 Page Forty

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THE NIGHT NURSE Listen, good people, and you shall hear The life of A Night Nurse, sad and drear. She rises at twilight and makes up her bed, And rushes to the dining room, just starved, to be fed, But supper ' s all gone or stone cold, at the best, For the waiters considers the Night Nurse a pest. She then goes en duty with heart rather drear, For Billy ' s forgotten to phone her, ' tis clear; But that soon forgotten, she ' s met by the Head Who leaves her a sweet little note to be read: What happened to Jane ' s dressing? Who sat on that bed? Old Mrs. Draucher said she hadn ' t been fed. The closet was open, the floor a disgrace; Are you sure you washed the Post-operative ' s face? Now really, Miss Night Nurse, my duty is plain, If these things happen, I cannot refrain From telling the office the way you do shirk, I never had any nurse who would do less work. As she flicks back a tear, her work to begin, There is woe in her heart, but it must not be seen. Shooting a hypo, irrigating an ear, Persuading a baby MammaTl soon be here; Giving an enema, handing out pills; Giving out blankets to old folks with chills. Though ' tis midnight now, not a chart did she de- There are thirty, ' twill take but an hour or two. Thus busily passes the long night away, Until finally comes the break of day. Now for the last long stretch before home, There is work for four people, she must do it alone; So with cap on one ear, she races about Handing out basins, giving bedpans out. When the Day Staff arrive, with an attitude meek, She gives her report, — Quietest night this week. -Anonymous. THE CRANIUM, 1937 Page Forty-tiro