Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine - Synapsis Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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They moved out of gold and into gray. They shifted tentatively as names were taken from them to be held in escrow for four years; and the names were replaced by numbers. For some the total immersion had not yet begun; for others, it had begun ten years earlier. In the beginning, that intangible, the profession waited for our commitment. Those of us who did not understand the commitment were slow to make it. The demands of the first year were greater and of a different nature than any that we had had to face previously. From September to June, we found no real periods of grace. We knew that anatomy quizzes had to be dealt with at least twice a week. The threat of unannounced exams, also, had come to be part of our lives. As a group, we were never closer than during that year; because to a great extent we were put into motion by the same forces. Their chance to call out had passed. Many whimpered as tenacious snow fell from a vast ab- dominal cavity. Some were not present at their own births; others were seen writhing in blind pursuit. During the second year, we began to realize that the word physician had something to do with our lives. The external pressures were not as great as they had been. We had to begin to feed ourselves in order to grow. The wire frames had been completed; they were made ready to re- ceive wet clay. Clay which would be molded and hardened in subsequent years. Those months were perhaps the most important. Later, going back to the beginning would be very difficult and would be accomplished only on an individual basis. Each of us began to acquire his unique pro- fessional identity. Each of us became aware of still more new conflicts, still more new challenges.

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They struggled to maintain a sense of beginnings and ends, but as the lights landed on their objects, they found themselves to be left only with cycles. Stones fell into the circle that was drawn with sticks in the dirt road, but they bounced out. Hundreds of stones were thrown and reached the circle, but none remained. By the third year, we had come to realize that the responsibility for structure was entirely ours. The convenient well-defined limits of academia were luxuries that no longer belonged to us. We were to make ourselves physicians as we had made ourselves men and women. From all sides, people tried to impose their value systems upon us; but for the most part we had stopped listen- ing. We knew that control and motivation had to come from within. We began our senior year as many american colleges and universities were coming under at- tack by their student bodies. We, like so many of those students, felt that we could no longer stand by and accept the unchallenged standards laid down for us by the institution and the med- ical profession. We were continually reevaluating our college, the teaching staff, and our educa- tional program. As totally enlightened seniors, we felt sure that we had the answers to everything. From June 8th, 1969 and for the rest of our professional lives, we will be asking ourselves two very important questions. Did we have ample opportunity to learn during our four predoctoral years? Will we demand of ourselves as much as we have demanded of those who have tried to teach us?