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Page 21 text:
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L Class Offi icers LeRoy I. Sykes — Treasurer James J. Davis — President Eva F. S. JasinskI — Secretary Thomas H. Henderson — Vice President 17
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Page 22 text:
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A History of the Class of 1965 in Four Acts OPEN WITH A SONG THAT IS SUNG TO THE TUNE OF ' BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI . Stanza — Look out! Here come the OMT ' s. Look out! Here come those G. P. fees. Look out! Oh patients look out, For the D.O. ' s are going to stay Chorus — Once again a class is ready to go, from the halls of the Oh-EmTee. Just a sec, cause we really want you to know That this school was the school for me. Stanza — Snap ' em! It ' ll cure their ills. Crack ' em! Let ' s never give them pills Look out! Oh patients look out For the D.O. ' s will never give way (FADE OUT) ACT ONE, Scene One Dean Studebaker ' s Office Seated around a large shiny conference table are the Dean and Drs. Anatomy, Tremendjus, Seig Heil and Bullet Head. Dean Studebaker — (smiling) — We ' ve enrolled 93 stu- dents for the class of ' 65, but some drop-outs must be expected. Dr. Anatomy — (small-boned man, wearing glasses, pants riding low, abdomen protruding over his belt, rolling a cigarette in the fingers of his right hand) — The key word for the first year should be Pressure. Sur- prise exams, impossible reading assignments, oral quizzes, incredibly complex lectures and so on. Dr. Tremendjus — (long thin man with hair parted in the middle, with a deep resonant voice) — TREMEND- JUS. Dr. Seig Heil — (medium height, heavy man in a black suit, bow tie, white shirt and bowler hat) — Perhaps short hikes to German marching songs, eeehh Doc- tors? Perhaps we can teach them to tan leather and make lampshades. Dr. Bullet Head — (small sized man, wearing glasses, and bald as a bean) — My plan is to give them an illus- trious group of Biochemists to lecture, ignore the textbook, and then finishing the course off with a winner of an exam, and no curve what-so-ever. Dr. Tremendjus — Tremendjus! Dean — (smiling) — So we ' re decided then, the students will be given a strong highly pressured first year with lots and lots of exams. Everyone — Yes! Lots and lots of exams. ACT ONE, Scene Two A corridor in front of Parasitology Lab. Student 1 — I can ' t get over how they know when to throw an exam. That one right after the student dance was wicked. Student 2 — Yes, 14 guys didn ' t even show, and Galen Old Jr. walked in with a date. I was still bombed and could hardly read the questions, and Dr. Anat- omy walks over, smiles and says ' the phantom strikes again ' . Student 3 — Remember when he caught John Waterloo standing on the toilet bowl doing an impersonation of him? Student 1 — John said he was looking to see if he was locked in. Student 4 — He caught M. Gary sneaking out early one day, stopped, nodded his head and said, ' some peo- ple just don ' t have any luck. ' Student 2 — How about old Bullet Head ' s exam? The only thing I was sure of was my name, and after looking the exam over I was so rattled, I misspelled that. Student 3 — I still wonder who the Mad Stamper was. He sure stamped an impression on the whole school. Student 1 — Boy! It was something to behold, when it first started the rounds — nothing was safe. They even found it behind the cooler in Bac-Tee. Student 4 — Uh-Oh! Here comes Jim Behooves the class chairman. Jim Behooves — Gentlemen, it behooves you not to stand in the hallways, it makes a bad impression for our class and it is a sign of immaturity: not only that, but when I was in the Navy (STUDENTS EXIT) Gen- tlemen, Oh Gentlemen — I wonder why they walked away? Oh well, they have very bad manners. JIM SINGS A SONG TO TUNE OF ' JEALOUSY ' . Etiquette, What is right you can ' t forget, I sometimes want to, But it ' s something I can not do. Can it be Only a malady? It ' s something bad I know To ever think so. My giving in would be sin, . So it ' s good I ' m going to be. My Navy rules.
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