Peterborough Collegiate and Vocational School - Echoes Yearbook (Peterborough, Ontario Canada)

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THE THEORY OF OMELETTES fFragment of a dissertation by Prof. Klondike von Goldrusche, dis- covered beneath the cornerstone of the Spitz Memorial Airport, Latitude 6 7!8 deg. N., Longitude 73 deg. F. in the shade, half-way between the Vimy Ridge Memorial and the Chateau Laurierl. C31 .... Draw latera recta bisec- ting major axis q, r. QProtractors may not be used. See Fig onel. C-1-Q VVith a sharp knife trisect the egg along the latera recta. One may expect one of three possible results. There may emerge: tal A smell. fbi A chicken for duckl. See Fig. twoj. QCD Yolk and White fy+xj. It may be shown fFarmer's Theoremj that both cases of b Cchicken and duckj cannot exist at the same time. It may be further shown that b and c cannot co-exist. However Cby Graham's Lawj a smell a has no vol- ume and hence may co-exist with either b or c. Further, a cannot exist alone fOlfactory Principle, and Theory of Vacuab. Hence there are six possible results, as follows: 1 Qbij A Chicken. 2 lbul A duck Qalso bn, bi ,... by equals goose. dragon, pterodactyl etc., See Fig. three. 3 ici equals y-l-w II' ll-'l'b1 5 ll'l'b2, bn, ba .... bu 6 a-l-c In the event of cases 5, 6, 4, 1, 2, the egg should be discarded. Only case 3 need detain us further. Q53 Impart to the ends of the shell fat verticesj a tiptapatory motion sufficient to disgorge the contents fy + wb into a vessel fbowl, pot, vase, vawze. etC.J C61 See a cook-book .... fthe rest is lostj Dust is mud with the juice squeez- ed out. 5 QM- -as ff! D 1 -fe -. - -fl Fla 1 -ll : F aw 2 Q, Q My e iz' llc!-Z CSPECIHL casey f- . NMHISL God moves in a mysterious way, The devil still must have his fun, And it is hard for us to say Why you have lived to fifty-onei But this new candle on the cake Should be the last we light for you, God will not make the same mistake, The devil still must have his due, And recollect, you little fake, Napoleon died at fifty-two. A. P. Herbert in Punch, 19.40. Covered with grime. hir. Beals em- erged scowling from beneath the car. His smiling friend Colin, fresh and debonair, beamed upon him waving an oil-can. I've just given the cylinder a thorough oiling, sir, he said. Thought that might help make 'er go. l Cylinder be hanged roared Mr. Beals, that was my ear! lXIr. Tooletin oflicej : These flowers are for the phone girls. Miss Cowling: Oh, thank you sir, you Hatter our service. Mr. Toole: Flatter nothing. I thought they were all dead. :N L GY, Q...- CARLEYISMS -I see, said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw. -These chairs are very generous: every time I sit on them they give. -I'm losing my voice again: Why, yesterday I had to get a compass to iind it. -As the man said when he opened the door, I wonder what this lets me in for! Or as the man said clos- ing the door, This lets me out. -As the backseat driver said when the car headed for the brick wall, Can you see what I'm driving at? -As the car said on leaving the garage, 'Tve got my bearings now! -As the skunk said when the wind changed, It all comes back to me now! -As the nurse going off duty said to the one going on duty, I give you my ward . Teach on O Miss lNIcGregor, The Greek class has begun, Once more to lays of Homer Our agile minds have come. Though lack of preparation Has made our Greek all wrong, Teach on O Miss McGregor, Our faith in thee is strong. Ken ltlarshallz Any four-volt two- watt lamps? Mr. Weames: For what? Ken: No, two. Mr. Weames: Two what? Ken: Yes. NEVVS FROINI THE D.N.B. The current shortage of eggs in Germany has at last been remedied by a Heidelberg chemist who has in- vented an eflicient egg substitute made from alburnen extracted from fish. I The current shortage of fish in Germany has at last been remedied by a Heidelberg chemist who has in- vented an eflicient fish substitute made from cellulose extracted from old Opera Hats. The current shortage of old Opera Hats in Germany .... COMPLIMENTS OF LIMITED M The Peterborough Lock Manufacturing Company l Page Forty-eight

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A fellow has to be a. contortionist to get on these days. First he has to keep his ear to the ground. Then he must put his shoulder to the wheel, keep his nose to the grindstone, keep a level head and have both feet on the ground. McTavish: I want to hire a horse. Riding Master: How long? MacTavish: The longest one you have. There are four of us. Eager Playwright: I wish I could think of a play to ill the audience with tears. Theatre Manager: I Wish you could think of one to fill the tiers with audience. Mr. Henry: Every day We breathe oxygen. What do we breathe at night, Frank? Johnny: Nitrogen. First Salesman: What do you sell? Second Salesman: Salt. First: Why, I'm a seller, too! Second: Shake! Teacher: If I said I'm handsome what tense would it be? Pupil: Pretence. Passenger: Does this train stop at the quay? Conductor. There'd be a terrible splash if it didn't! Sandy: So ye didna' go awa' for a holiday this year Mac? Mac: No, Sandy. The MacGregors wrote an' invited me to their place, an' I'd like to have gone but they forgot to enclose a, stamped envelope for a reply. A parable is two straight lines. XNE DIN6 Lost at Sea A refugee keeps order at a football match. Contralto is the name of a low sort of music that only ladies sing. Now, Reid, said the history teacher, what do you consider the greatest accomplishment of the Ro- mans?' Learning Latin, sir. How did you like the show? It was the worst picture I ever cinema life. . For Good Reliable Bicycle Repairs and Bicycle Supplies I Go to C. R. BANKS 195 Charlotte Street When in Need of Drugs Quickly H' PHONE 3549 REXALL onus STOQ We Serve You Well and Save You Money 393 GEORGE STREET The Lady: Are you really content to spend your life Walking about the country begging? Tramp fsoulfullyj: No, lady, many's the time I wished I had a. motor car. Mr. David. What is the chief river of Egypt? F. Mason: The Nile. Mr. David: And what are its tributaries? Fred: The juveniles. Herrings are fishes that swim about the sea. in shawls. Davis-Thompson Company Insurance and General Agency Established 1858 Reliable Insurance Counsel with Adequate Coverage in Sound Companies 4-33 George St. Phone 4724 COMPLIMENTS BROOKS GRILL Camzdalm Owned and Operated COR. HUNTER 8z GEORGE Page Forty-.seven

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Form V Academic First lluw: IC. .Xrlnstrmlmy Ii. C1'1vwf'. M. I'v.vXX'v:1I, XXI Mw1'1'1-xr, IZ, llruw-,11.11111--r..X 1'lxurvh1-1'. .X. Hiw-kr-5 Il. Sutt-rn. Nw-v-ml Ilow: J. l.'I'2llll'lvI'd, XX'. Hall, .X. Mzrrslmll, IZ, Huy. Ir. xifnprwl. H Kr-lm--1. XX'. Hsrmhl.-, XXI Nur--xx 111:-li Huw: Il. llzunv-r. K, Kidd, ll. .Ifrh1wlw1'1.1'. rilllf-43.1-,I..1'l1-114-Ar, I1 H11'vm..X. liluvk. XX' 431.1I1:mr Form V Academic First How: IC. Barr, J, Pirlgeon, M. Fustur, A. O'I,Qga1'5', II, 1.1:1X'is, N. Timlin, Ii. Yan Allen, Ii. Iligw.-low V. Hopf-. e-cond Row: P. P2if.l'l'SfH'l. E. Best, S. Ilichzrrrlson, C. Nisln-11. AI. Alum-41, ,IL Hutvhinsuu. J. Iivtr.-lwsmr J. Hadduw, J. Mf-lton. J. XX'alkPr. Third How: XV. Hunter, F, Ruskin, K. Hendry. S. B'Hv1'lm1n. BI. Waite. I. llifihullfl. M. Vi'-PCG. J- HFLITU'-'B' D. Clark, M. Hutton-XX'a1ke1'. Back Iinw: H. XX'e11mzm, H, Hvatty, G. Huffman, M.Strivkl1u1d, M. Curry, E. Glover, M. 1XIcIntyre J. Dougherty.