Peterborough Collegiate and Vocational School - Echoes Yearbook (Peterborough, Ontario Canada)

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Motor I908 by JOHN W. BANNISTER, v A To try to describe all the amusing things that were looked upon as 'the very latest' thirty years ago, would be impossible in so short an article. I shall concentrate on one thing that interested me, the automobile of nineteen hundred and eight. Here are a few of the ultra-modern features found only on the best mnzlels. The Winton had a douche under each wheel to cool off the tires when the car was running. It sprayed a fine stream of water against each of the tires and was controlled by a hand pump which the driver operated from his seat. The Isotta, fthe Desoto's grandfatherl, car- ried a spare tire on the roof. To get at it, a folding ladder was supplied at no extra cost. For puncture protection someone invented a band of round steel plates which were called armour plate. With them you were supposed to be able to drive over bottles, nails, stones and rocky ruts with- out danger of puncture. No mention was made of the fact that a car equipped with Armour Plate made as much noise as a cross between a stone crusher and a threshing machine. Evidently there were 'back seat drivers' as far back as 1908, for among the accessories available, was a horn called 'the Jericho' which could be op- erated by the driver and passenger at the same time. At least, we can be thankful that there is no such thing on the market today. Some people complain about the noisy horns on our cars of today. Thirty years ago, a great many cars were equipped with a combination horn and siren which could be heard clearly from three to five miles. CC'0n.'z'11ued 011 Page 783 Irate Parent: School work? Do you mean to tell me that sitting on the sofa all night with that young whipper-snapper is school Work? Elma Baldrey: Why yes. We take it in P.T., and they call it setting-up exercises. 5TlcK'EMUp.LAmD I3,..-,.--- Dorvr MAKE A soufvn. t . - J , 152:31 W . g ef-3155 r,, I 4 'sigh ,ff H hugs '?1' P . is L 'Z - ' f QQE :lil 55555. .am v QI' :lla ll N' l ' .liil gg, y- EIB Y' ,ill lass: ' IIVIII AI' Ill 4 v :sr ::: 5 It yer :za :ar Q -'i ., . 4i!!llll ' QQ - Qfag!-Z I mr--' . 1 fs 5 fails rgig? tate ---l if M e p esfsig' ' L ien W TT fgfr 2 -ELQQ? ggi? Q Keene The Keene Antique by rtEANoR scorr, :VA Vtfhen Grandpop heard a crash and bang, Then saw a cloud of dust, He was durn near blowed off his feet, So he began to cuss! What's this world acomin' to With that thar horseless truck? Everytime I hear the thing- I prays and then I ducks. It had a horn and everythin' And wore a coat of green, It was the newest vehicle, Grandpop had ever seen. In them days it ran quite well, Scarce ever made a fussg In them days when Grandpop lived, It was a first rate bus. It never could go very fast, 'Thirty' was dead high, But it's still arunin' the same route, From Keene to P.C.I.l They've gone and painted it bright blue, But still it is a freakg They can't afool us anyhow, We know the Keene Antique. Z 5 ' uma VH H 1. f W e Qgmeg K ss in -'renal' - X Mr. Bamforth: Now I want each man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air, and move them as if he were riding a bicycle. Now begin. After a short eFfort Al Lockington stopped. Mr. Bamforth: Why have you stopped, Locking- ton? Al: Please, Sir, I'rn just coasting. Page Thirty-nine

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CEST A RIRE Dish Pan Hands by CATHARINE WHITE, IIB Com, Preserve your hands, the ads all say With greasy dishes do away: We revolutionize the art Of washing dishes. To your heart We'll find a way with greatest ease, No more your husband you need tease To wash those dishes you forgot, For he will clean up every pot, If-ah! here is the crucial test- You give him but the very best of suds. What is this paragon? Why, our own product, 'Avalon'I With smiles he'll gird his apron on, Upon his lips a cheerful song, He'll make each plate with high-light glow, Then maybe take you to the show. So say advertisements, but I Regard them with a wary eye. And though I have quite often tried The marvellous products advertised, I never yet have got my man, By using them in my dish pan. The only way to dish pan bliss Is simply and completely this: STOP EATING! an 5 Q li--I L Mr. Henry: Name a liquid that won't freeze. Bill Davidson: Hot wat- er. Pardon me for walking on your feet, apologized the polite passer-by. Oh that's all right, re- plied Elwood McCarrol equally polite, I often walk on them myself! Horace Steer: CAfter spatl Now I know Why women are called birds. It's because they are always chirpingf' Mary Hall: 'AOh, no, dear. It's because of the worms we're always picking up l Now in case anything should go wrong with this experiment, said Mr. Graham, we and the laboratory with us will be blown sky high. Now, come a little closer, boys, in ordei that you may follow me. C. S. Browne: Cin Alg. classl f'Bannister, can you explain the binomial theorem to me? john: just what part don't you understand, sir?,' Mrs. Davidson: What does . the average collegiate boy do with his week-end? Dr. Kenner: Well Madam, he merely hangs his hat on it. Dot Bateson and Viola David- son, evidently strange to the traf- - nc regulations, were obeying the ' instructions f'Cross in the white lines. ' They might have made these 0 lines a little wider, mightn't V they? Dot remarked. lV'N - - Mr. Zavitz, hearing a noise fl' g downstairs, jumped out of bed , and shouted from the head of the stairs, W'ho's down in the kitchen? Burglar: A'Nobody. Mr. Zavitz: That's funny. I ac-SIQQ3' gs? Well, wha! do you know ubn-ul that? Page TlII'ffj I'I.gl1t could have sworn I heard a noise down there.

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Chivalry is the attitude of a. man toward a strange HOWl6I'S Louis XVI was gelatined. Tl1e liver is an infernal or- gan. Who held up the earth? Germany. Abraham, the prophet, was chiefly known for his bosom Three shots rang out. Two of the servants fell dead. The other went through his hat. Our team fought pluckily but they were overpowder- ed. ' M... wi Ali Baba means being somewhere else when the crime was committed. E A Demagogue is a vessel for holding liquor. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. Thomas Becket led a very dissipated life. Three nights killed him. Quartz is a number of pints. A sculptor is a man who makes faces and busts. In India, a man in one cask cannot marry a woman in another cask. The army advanced to the sound of marital music. Barrie Jack: I suppose you think I'm a pefect idiot. Bob Graham: Oh, none of us is perfect. Hooey Davidson: And when I was half-way through my number, there wasn't a peison on the floor not dancing. Reporter: I see. We'll write it up as a sole- stirring performance. Mr. Craig: Now, a rapid advance of stock usually brings a quick turnover. Black: I know that, Sir, I was once butted from behind by a bull. Clegg: My brother had an awful scare yesterday. A lizard ran up his stocking. Bill: That's nothing: my brother had the sewing- machine run up the seam of his pantsf' iff-it R C i' 3 Miss Brisbin: , Y I Hwhat is the Q5-,ggff chief river of ,. .jf,,,f Egypt ? B a n n i s t e r 3 f -'The Nile. Miss Brisbin: 1 'f'L Z'-' And what are . 'P L the tributaries? sf - - ' i I H Bannisterv: irQgn The yuxfniles. ,feflfigl HCI HDf1ff1itl Eveiybody wants to put their nose in my business. She1 'They should. You manufacture handker- chiefs. There was a young teacher named Davey Who enlisted himself in the Navy: He was fed such tough steak, That it made his sides ache, So he soon found a watery gravy. WOITISJI. Columbus was a great navigator who cursed about the Atlantic. An antidote is a funny story you have heard before. Who was sorry when the prodigal son returned home? The fatted calf. They gave Wellington a glorious funeral. lt took six men to carry the beer. Page Forty Mr- Hffrlryl I'm exceedingly sorry I killed your dog, Madam. Will you allow me to replace him? Miss Montgomery: Oh, sir! This is so suddenfi 7 Qfllf f any f'7,l'f all I IP X x- if Y iff! 52'Z' 3 KZ IZ 4 I X fl if 4 wh X Z W7 1 f Q 13:16 X , Q7 . ' I if Lf Z M 0: lj, X ' lim Convict: Well when does the fun start? Warden: Fun? VVhat fun? Convict: The judge said I was here for the time of my life. It is perfectly all right to have a train of thought as long as you have a terminal. What does a bat do in Winter? It splits if you don't oil it.