Petaluma High School - Trojans Yearbook (Petaluma, CA)

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P. H. S. ENTERPRISE ! U (They proceed to hide things while Adams protests. They put Speedo and cnicken medicine in the same suit case.) Enter Street, Potter and Young of Lowell. (General business of handshak¬ ing.) Potter: Well, Mills, what do you fel¬ lows expect to do tonight? Mills: Just wait awhile and see. W-at are your chances of making a good show¬ ing? Potter: Rum. Young here, is our best sprinter and he has been making poor time. The other men haven’t been com¬ ing up to Young. Brown: Have you boys had mucii training? Potter: Some of us trained for a whole week an- we had one tryout but most of tnem only trained two evenings. Brown: That ' s w r orse than we’ve done. What is the cause of all this? Potter: The fellows thought they did¬ n ' t have any show to get out a good track team so they put in their time on foot¬ ball. Brown: Makes it nice for the track captain, doesn’t it? Potter: The captain can’t crab when he has been playing football himself in¬ stead of training. Mills: Then you don’t expect to win tonight? Potter: I should say not. If we don’t get last we will be lucky. (First call for Fifty yard dash.) Potter: Well, so long, Petaluma. We’ll meet you on the track. Mills and Brown: Goodbye, fellows. Mills: Come, Brown, let’s watch these fellows limber up. (Cross to track.) That Lowell man has a good stride but watch him get his from Anderson and Adams in the sprints. Brown: Sure with Speedo-Raymaker they can’t be beat. Mills: No. (Suit case moves, Young stares.) Brown: It’s the greatest invention of the age. It would make a speed marvel of the oldest inhabitant of Penngrove. Mills: Where is it. Brown: Over there in my suitcase. Young: (Aside) I see a chance for Lowell. (Takes bottle from his own suit case, pours Speedo. into bottle, and pours Cul¬ pepper’s Chicken Condiment into Speedo. bottle. Exit.) Mills: Say, won’t we spring a surprise on this bunch down here. (Last call for fifty.) Ah, there’s the last call for the fifty. The meet will soon be on. WelJ, Brown, (shakes hands with Brown) here’s where Petaluma wins a field meet. Curtain. ACT III. (Mills and Brown from Petaluma, Young and Potter of Lowell, and Lee of Mission limbering up. Rest of Petaluma team cheering on the side lines.) Starter: All out for the mile! All milers out! Here, you fellows, take your places. Young, 1, Mills, 2, Potter, 3, Lee, 4, Brown, 5. Now, remember, youse fel¬ lows, the foist guy that sneaks gets penal¬ ized five yards. Mills: You, Young, quit your crowd¬ ing. Here, starter, watch this man. Starter: Say, what’s the matter with you Lowell guys? Can’t you keep still? (Two false starts.) All: Hurrah! They’re off, etc. Adams: O, gee. Look at those Low¬ ell fellows go. Raymaker. Look at old Potter take the lead. He’s the man they said couldn’t run at all. Look at him streak it out now. Brunson: Believe me he has to. Young and Lee are right on his heels and gaining every minute. Weston: I thought the Lowell fellows said they couldn’t run. Look at Young take the turn; he’s ahead of Potter now. 27

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P. H. S. ENTERPRISE E ' ll Brown: Maybe it’s that miscellaneous brew we‘re mixing. Mills: By gum, I’m going to find out. (Splashes some on the chairs with a stick. The chairs move. ) Brown: It is; it is. By Jove, but we’re some inventors. Mills: I’ll bet it’s the same dope that Pericles used on his mule. Say, what shall we name it? Brown: Let’s call it Speedo-Raymaker, he’s always drinking the rub down. Mills: (cautiously approaches the mix¬ ture and holds a dipperful aloft) Say, I wonder if it will work on mules. Brown, I’ll try it on you. (Throws it on Brown who rushes off R.) Mills: Three cheers for us. That’s the stuff. We’ve found the dope that Per¬ icles discovered. Oh, but we’re some. Curtain. ACT II. (Brown, Mills, Raymaker and Brunson in the dressing room. Brunson: Is this our dressing-room? Mills: Oh, what a joint for a dressing- room. Brown: Is this a fit place to house the future champion track team of the west? Can we condescend to dress in this lowly portion of the Auditorium annex? Here Brunson, sit on this suitcase before it runs away with itself. Where’s that boob of a freshman, Adams? Mills: I don’t know. We left him over on Market street rubbering in at the show-windows. We tried to bring him along with us, but every time he saw a building more than six stories high he had to turn around and rubber and he’d say,“ Gee, ain’t that a whopper?” and then someone would bump into him and Adams would turn around to see who it was, and then someone else would hit him. Adams wasn’t making any progress along Market street and besides he was queering the bunch, so we dropped him. Brown: Gee, if Adams doesn’t get here we’re out of five points, you know, with Speedo-Raymaker he’s just as valu¬ able as anyone. We’ve got 15 minutes be¬ fore the race I guess I’ll go look for him before the race. (Brown rushes off and runs into Adams just entering with his arms full of bun¬ dles.) Brown: Hully gee, fresh, what have you got there? Adams: Oh, here you are, I had an awful time finding you. Just look at all the stuff I bought. I’m going to take it all home to Petaluma. I’m going to make some money when I get home. Brown: How? Adams: Oh, just look at this great big chunk of gold a fellow sold me for six-bits. He said it would be worth $7,- 000 anywhere. The only reason the guy sold to me was because he couldn’t get it changed into ready money here in San Francisco and he had to have money to pay his carfare to Emeryville tonight or else his old dad would disinherit him. (They all laugh.) Brunson: Give me that brick, Fresh. Adams: I’m afraid to trust you with it. Brunson: Give it to me, I say. (Adams meekly hands over the brick. Brunson examines it and breaks it in two.) Raymaker: Who did you think that guy was, Santa Claus? Adams: O my, I thought it was gold. Raymaker: O you poor boob. Brown: Oh, don’t josh him, fellows. What can you expect of a freshman? Mills: Gee Whillikens! What ' s this bottle? Adams: It’s for the chickens. The guy said it would make chickens lay two eggs every day. I got tha t bottle for fifty cents. (Raymaker reads name.) Brown: Ditch that junk, will you? Here come the Lowell fellows; it will queer the whole bunch.

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P. H. S. ENTERPRISE ' 1 i Brunson: Yes, but look at Brown and Mills, they are gaining. Look! Look! They are up with them. There, there’s stia a chance for us to make a few points anyway. Ray: You bet there is, it’s up to Brown and Mills to bring home the bacon. (Runners cross the stage.) Brunson: Gee, that was a pretty spurt. Ray: Yes, but they are all in. That spurt killed them off. Adams: There, that’s our last chance gone. Ray: Yes; our chances are about pickled and put on ice. Brunson: Oh what a surprise this meet has turned out to be. Ray: Yes, but instead of us doing the surprising it’s that despised Lowell bunch. (Runners cross stage.) Weston: Yes, it looks almost as if they were the ones who had Speedo-Ray- maker instead of us. Ray: That Speedo-Raymaker certainly hasn’t been working much tonight. Be¬ fore, when I used it my legs fairly ran away with me, but tonight it didn’t help at all. Brunson: Say, fellows, it seems to me that Speedo didn’t smell the same as usu¬ al tonight. I wo n d e r—(walks to suit case, takes out bottle, sniffs it and holds it up. Yells.) Hey, come here, you fellows. See, here’s what’s the matter. Lowell has been using our Speedo and we have been using Cul¬ pepper’s Chicken Condiment! Weston: O, piffle! Ray: O, for the love of Mike! Brunson: Now wouldn’t that get your angora! Adams: O, gee! you fellows went and used up all my chicken medicine. I wanted that for— Weston: Shut up! We’ll fix you after the meet. It’s all your fault. You brought this stuff in here. Adams: But the fellow said— Weston: I don’t care what he said. You shut up! Ray: He must have seen you coming. Fresh! Brunson: Here come the fellows. MilJs and Brunson are about a mile be¬ hind. Starter: Here hold the end of this string, one of you fellows. (Runners finish, Mills and Brown last.) Ray: Say, fellows, everything has turned out rotten. We haven’t made a single point, but let’s not cry over spilt milk; we’re going to have a high old time before we go home. Brunson: Sure, cheer up, fellows, let ' s show them that we know how to lose as well as win. Let’s give them whiskity. Ray: Aw, let’s sing Boo a Boola. Adams: Sure that’s the dope. Weston: You bet. Ray: Come on, starter, come on you Lowell fellows and join us in our little song. All right, now, all together. (First verse of Boola Song. Curtain. «=§ = =§ =► =§ = 28