Petaluma High School - Trojans Yearbook (Petaluma, CA)

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17 found to have been teaching an un¬ graded school of five pupils for the past twenty-five years, among the sand hills of Bodega. She had con¬ scientiously drawn her salary at the end of every month and had soundly whipped her pupils at the end of each week. Emma had had many admirers and several years before had taken the final step and engaged herself to be married to a young man of great wealth. The wedding day drew near, the pupils were grief stricken, the very birds of the air hung their heads and wept, while solemn long-eared jackrabbits groaned at the very thought of losing their beloved Emma. But the worst was not to be. On the day of the wedding a beautiful day in June, as the strains of the wedding march came floating mistily through the air, a wild despairing cry broke from the lips of the bridegroom as he sank to the floor, never to rise again, struck down the doctor’s said by a love too great to bear. Gene went on to say that Emma had gone back to teaching and was living with her dearest friend. Ruby McGuire, now a grandmother. Ruby had married a farmer and was a typi¬ cal picture of a fleshy, good-natured farmer’s wife. At one time she had had musical aspirations, but has con¬ tented herself and exercised her tal¬ ent for the last thirty years in calling the fowls to their meals twice a day, year in and year out. The climax was reached when we were told that Nellie Burns had married an Italian count and was living in the height of luxury at Rome, envied by all the Italian beauties and the idol of all Rome because of her musical ability. Gene told us that the Countess Nel¬ lie had but just completed a tour of the world and was even at that time in the capital of France. It was at this juncture that Allie re¬ membered the object of our mission and asked of the renowned chicken doctor, Mr. Foster. We learned that he had long been troubled with some slight complaint and was in the habit of taking medicine at night as well as day to effect a speedy cure. One night he had gotten a bottle of his own medicine by mistake and taken it internally. The next morning he was found to be past recovery. He had left no formula for his sought-for ointment nor any of his stock on the market, and to make matters worse, had consumed the last drop of his own stock on that fatal night of his demise. A client entering the office, we wished Miss Martinelli a good after¬ noon, and boarded a city-bound train and took the first steamer for home, the home of the Bedouins, of Allie and me. EDITORIAL. We take this opportunity of ex¬ pressing our gratitude to our teachers who, by their constant efforts, have devoted heart and soul to enable us to attain the grand ideal of this class¬ ical department. Chas Martin, Pres. H. Schluckebier Vice Pres. J. H. Gwinn, Cashier. U. H. Tomasini, Ass’t Cashier. PETALUMA NATIONAL BANK. Transacts a general banking business Interest paid on time deposits. PETALUMA ROCHDALE STORE Best of Groceries and Provisions Bloom building Kentucky St. J .C. DAVIS For a good Harness and General repairing. 740 Main St. P. JOS. STEIGER Sporting Goods and Bicycles 848 Main St., Petaluma

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16 as she held in check an antiquated donkey of a horse, hitched to a buggy in keeping with the same. We would never have recognized her but Jack said: “Don’t you remember your old classmates, of whom we have fre¬ quently spoken at home? We found ourselves greeting the popular Ida Perinoni of former days. She was in a great hurry but took time to tell us that her former chum Lizzie Haran was a missionary among the Hottentots of Africa. Anderson re¬ marked, in open mouthed amazement, that it was a wonder that they had not eaten Lizzie long before this, while in the same breath, he asked the old man if he had tried Foster’s reliable cure for baldness. John brought the whip down with a thud on the afore described horse and dashed away in a cloud of dust. We had barely left the Haystack ere we found ourselves in Petaluma, now extended and grown into a large and flourishing city. We boarded an electric car and in a few moments found ourselves at the Palace Hotel. The minute we had registered a handsome, middle-aged gentleman with his reporter’s pad, strolled over to us to make a note of the new ar¬ rivals for that day. There was some¬ thing familiar about him that remind¬ ed us of some former friend but be¬ fore “speculation had become at too great odds” he had taken out an eye¬ glass and after a long and seemingly satisfactory stare, walked leisurely to¬ ward us, diamonds, gold-headed cane, plug hat, Prince Albert coat and all. Extending his li ly-white hand in the most approved Parisian style he said: “Ah, allow me to welcome you home in behalf of Petaluma.” “Martin Poehlmann,” fairly gasped Allie. We were about to question him con¬ cerning some of the rest of our form¬ er classmates, as he seemed to have so much more time than poor hen¬ pecked Lauritzen, when to our un¬ bounded amazement, he suddenly turned upon his heel muttering some¬ thing about the “Courier” going to press and a wish to get in an item regarding our return. We were great¬ ly puzzled over his behavior until it suddenly dawned upon us that he was a reporter for the Courier. We were feeling positively disgust¬ ed when Allie suddenly remarked that he would give almost anything to see Gene once more and listen spell¬ bound as of yore to her ceaseless flow of news. As he remarked this, my eyes, which were aimlessly wan¬ dering over the professional cards displayed upon the walls, suddenly fell upon a neatly engraved card bear¬ ing the following suggestive inscrip¬ tion: Genevieve Martinelli, attor¬ ney at law. Divorce cases expedi¬ tiously attended to at bedrock prices. Upon inquiry we found that the of¬ fice of Genevieve Martinelli, attorney at law, was over Hop Sing Lee’s laundry. We hastened to that part of the city, clambered the creaking stairs with no small risk to our necks, knocked at the dilapidated door and were ushered into the pres¬ ence of the famous divorce lawyer, Martinelli. We found her half buried in legal-looking documents while her plate-glass spectacles were covered with a week’s dust. She was forced to remove the latter before being able to see us. She recognized us at once, greeted us warmly and of¬ fered us chairs. A few moments lat¬ er with her tongue loosed at both ends and running like a steam trip hammer, rattling off legal expressions and quotations from Vergil’s Ae- neid,” Genevieve was giving us the life history of several of our former classmates. We had not been in that law office ten minutes before we had learned all the particulars of the second divorce of Ada Stone and had also been in¬ formed of the fact that she was soon to embark upon the matrimonial sea for the fourth time as a third husband had just died a most natural death. Gene told us very confidentially that Ada made an exceedingly pretty wid¬ ow which accounted for the fact that Martin had chosen her in spite of her former ventures. Emma Hyatt was

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18 5oV.es, ADvWvovsA. Tvc )iA ce Mr. Foss’ Pet Rhyme. Oh, for the Emerson book and a shady nook. Either in doors or out. With the green leaves whispering overhead, Or noises all about. Where I may read all at my ease. Of the Emerson book of old. For this dear good book whereon to look. Is better to me than gold. So quoth Marvin, “I’ll betide. The school wherein I learned to ride (a wheel). Mr. F.—On the eve of graduation what would you like to have the speaker talk about? Martin—How to get rich quick. John L.—I would that my tongue could utter the thoughts that within me rise. Ludwig, Ray and Walter (in con¬ cert)—When shall we three meet gain? Mr. S.—Edith, what English word is derived from sonors. Edith (sleep)—Snores. Late or laugh. And that is half. One hour in the Hall, After school, that’s all. One day a visitor of our city stop¬ ped a Freshman on the street and on inquiring about the school building, asked which way the stairs ran. “Well,” said the Freshman, “if you are at the foot of the stairs, they run up, and if you are at the top of the stairs they run down. A father was much annoyed at the foolish questions of his little son: Pa.—“Johnny, you are a great source of annoyance to me.” Son—“What’s the matter, pa?” Pa—“You ask so many foolish ques¬ tions. I wasn’t such a big donkey when I was your age. Son—“Well, you’ve growed a heap since.” Mr. F.—“Ally, what chemical change takes place when iron comes in contact with air?” Ally—“It risticates.” Why does not lightning ever strike twice in the same place? Junior—It never needs to. Miss K. (to Frank Eddy, in book¬ keeping)—Mr. Eddy, you will have to change your seat. Frank (sadly)—If I am a real good boy may I not sit here? Ask Frank why. Miss Fennikoh (with a bottle of “ketchup” in her hand)—I won’t be late this morning. Freshman, next year you will have to “scorn delights and live laborious days.” Miss Krutz (Com. Geog.)—What is gas used for? Mr. Kizer (wisely)—Killing pur¬ poses. It is strange that Miss K. should lose her way in S. R., which town she is so familiar with and not be able to find the right way until she had shak¬ en all the party save one.