Pennsylvania Western University - Calnorsean Yearbook (California, Pennsylvania)

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T e Co ?orsee7 ; Class Will [ILLS are made to be broken. If any heir undertake to break this, our last will , and testament, it becomes null and void — whatever that may mean. If at any ' ' fM time we have seemed near and close with our possessions it has been done to save for those who come after us. Many things we cannot leave with you for we need them ourselves: as for instance our beauty, skill, talents, honor, credit, mental acumen, age and dignity, our courtesy, appetites, clear ringing noisy voices, our wit and humor, our presence, spelled anyway and above all our class spirit and love for our Alma Mater; these things we cannot leave. In looking over the bequests, we are constrained to believe it may be more blessed to give than to receive. We do not wish to be considered defunct in any sense. In elegant diction we refer to those who are gone, as having passed out or gone before and we prefer to be spoken of in that manner. Be it remembered that we, the Class of 1917, of the S. W. S. N. S., in the town of Cali- fornia, state of Pennsylvania, being of sound mind, or classed as such, do make this our last will and testament, hereby revoking all former wills by us made. We hereby request, when we pass on from here, that our expenses be paid, no matter what our destination, in mental money. We direct that our just debts be paid with all convenient speed. We hereby authorize and empower the Class of 1918 to make sale of and convey any property we may leave in our rooms after we are gone, for the purpose of raising any and all sums needful to make our credit good, by liquidating all bills payable, including casing debts, R. R. fares, two windows broken by a baseball, ice cream soda bill, three bottles of pop at French ' s Barber Shop, seven shoe shines for Fred Gillogly, all relief key bills, book-room bills, e.xcess laundry bills, society dues, etc. All the rest, residue and remainder of our belongings, real and unreal, personal, impersonal, mixed and unmixed, we give, devise and bequeath unto the Class of 1918 in trust without requirement of bonds, for that would embarrass them. We appoint the said Class of 1918 guardians and trustees to the Class of 1919 during its minority. As funeral services are not appropriate for us who pass on, we only ask a decent wake. It would drain your feeble exchequers to ask that you burn our weight in candles at this recep- tion but if Fay Miller and Edna Long will illuminate it by the light of their countenances, we will be satisfied. To each and every member of the Class of 1918 who by diligence or riding on ponies, contrive to pass State Board and prove their right to the term high-brow, we leave: First. The right to clothe themselves in the so ' .emn dignity and authority of the Senior Class. Second. The registrar ' s office, where the wise man, as well as the fool and his money are soon parted. Third. The historic stone bench, which fortunately tells no tales. Fourth. The fire department with a history of its traditions, aim.s and ideals. Fifth. The dormitory rooms where local color runs riot and impressionist, cubic and futurist types of art are well represented. Sixth. The post-office a place of hopes realized and hopes deferred. Packages from home were contraband if John Lowers or Bobby Moore ever got their lamps upon them.

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7 e Co ?crsea 7 Minutes of a Board Meeting jHE editorial board went into executive session i.nd the editor-in-chief began an excited appeal for completed manuscript — Said the indications indicated that procrastination would be our Waterloo. It was decided by contentious agreement to have everything ready for the printer two weeks from date. Eneix had been absent in mind constantly, but in course of time became absent in body from our meetings. Was not even here today and away tomorrow so it was moved and seconded to drop his name, drape some chair appropriately and proceed with business just the same. Unanimously passed. An illuminated motto We are Eleven done in immortelles by Heinle was adopted as our emblem. Communications from Rose Gross, Lavon Hicks, lome Lowers, and others of the 1918 class kept pouring in offering $5.00 for each time their names are men- tioned in the year book or their pictures published. A committee was appointed to tell them to desist, as the board is above taking such small bribes. Just here a letter was delivered to Peg Weaver who opened it and read it aloud: Truly I can say I miss you more than pen can write. It must have been a case of love at first sight with us — father says all he will give us is his consent, but for you I would sacrifice relations, ambition, honor, fortune, career, nay — more — Interrupted right here by the practical and unidealistic Hank saying: Where did he get all those lovely things? All of the editors became deathly sick, except Peg. The others gradually recovered but they never were so well as before hearing the letter. Moved a com- mittee be appointed to inform Mike Freeman that his article on Casing was unworthy of a place. The following articles were rejected: Ramond Filby, by Filby. A scientific article — Laugh and Grow Fat, by Beryl Dell assisted by Henry Wilkins. The Advantages of a Four Year Course in Plane Geometry, by Eleanor Richardson. How to Become Rich, by Marjorie Sweet. Daily Reports from the Treasurer, by Hankinson. Nutritive Value of Peanuts, by Pauline Lowers. Why It Is Necesary to Wear Beautiful Clo.thes, by Anne Brown. An ad was read from a jewelry firm in Brownsville advertising German Silver watches and Rhine Stone rings and was refused for fear of some Teuton plot. A communication from Weaver ' s, offers, in exchange for space in the Year Book, — twelve navy beans for set rings as souvenirs to the editors. Accepted with the modification that eleven will be all that are required. Honesty is the best policy A local bank asks us to print this ad: Wanted, an office boy for the summer, 16 to 81 years old. Rejected as the board decided so arbitrary an age limit is unfair. The board accepted the following ad: Young man in Senior Class, name, Henry Wilkins wants position at anything, ' In or out of Pittsburgh. ' The committee on society items reported an interview with W. Horner who was very uneasy lest allusions be made detrimental to his moral character. The committee instructed to inform him that the board does not deal with subjects of so dubious a nature and it was unanimously decided to put nothing unimportant in our Year Book. An ad was received from Duff ' s Garage offering to exchange three fine large potatoes suitable for baking for a new Packard. Miss Richardson spoke favorably for it and as the editors wish nothing that could be interpreted as restraint of trade, it was unanimousy accepted. An ad from Long ' s Grocery purporting to sell onions by the karet, was refused as it smacked of usury. An ad from a local meat market, included the item, Poultry a shade stronger. The board not knowing whether this is an apology an inducement, or a warning, decided to exclude the whole. The editor in chief stated that the village marshall had interviewed her about inserting the following: I have been instructed by the council to enforce the Ordinance against chickens running at large and riding bicycles on the sidewalk. . An ajournment to eat was moved, seconded and unanimously passed. 85

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fye Co ?orseG ? Seventh. The boys dressing room in t ' r.e gymnasium. Eighth. The society halls, the factories where we enter green and emerge a fairly finished product, variously described as peaches, pippin and lemons. Ninth. Our latest blessing, the pool room. All honor to our trustees and faculty who were broad minded enough to know what is good for boys. Tenth. The laundry cleanliness is next to godliness and it is a weekly opportunity to come out from among the great unwashed. Eleventh. The campus we leave this because we cannot take it with us. Twelfth. We leave to you sadly the scene of joyous tim.es our main corridor, the street beauti- ful, and we advise you to look carefully into the matter of city m.anager as more likely to control traffic and regulate casing and abolish strikes. Thirteenth. Our beloved Faculty, who have by infinite perserverance and patience helped us to become worthy members of the alumni of the S. W. S. N. S. This our last will and testament is to take effect immediately. In witness where of the said class of 1917 have heru unto set our seal this day of -June in the year 1917 by the signature of our representative, George Edmund Hankison. Then and there signed, sealed, published and declared by the said George Edmund Hankison as the last will and testament of the Class of 1917 in the presence of each of these, who have here to subscribed our nam.es as wit. nesses. First Codicil. Having had a stiff course in Penmanship we feel constrained to leave our autos (not Fords) as a stimulation to the Class of 1918, to emulate the same. As Werner and Church cannot read their own writing when it is cold the class think it best for them to confine themselves to printing. Second Codicil. After much deliberation we leave the Class of 1918 the forlorn hope that during the next year the boys and girls may be allowed to dance together, which, if real- ized, will be a triumph of hopr- over experience. THE EKW 87