Pennsylvania Western University - Calnorsean Yearbook (California, Pennsylvania)

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7 e Ca ?crse(7 ? First x id x ssociation Hick ' s Red Cross Unit, S. W. S. N. S. The following students have received help during 1916-17. John Filby Headache. Got a prescription for an aching void. Raymond Filby overcome with a sense of his own importance. Letrick injured by colhsion with an intoxicated sidewalk. Werner overbalanced by a barber carelessly parting his hair too far on one side. Mary Dickey struck with an idea. Freda Hill seized with a fit of giddiness. Minn Charleton injured by a falling shadow. Fred Gillogly struck for excess laundry bill, by Registrar. Zana Smith seized with lockjaw while orating on ' ' Conservation and correlation of mental forces. Horner compound fracture of heart due to falling in love and out. Howard Sparks pocket book fractured by poker. Herrington seized with a fit in Sam Winer ' s Clothing Store. Irene Van Sickle paralyzed with fear of failure in State Board Exams. Marie Coleman crazed with joy at receiving an invitation to a dance. Son Mills struck dumb in class. Bertha Long overcome with emotion. -Jane Wells broke her collar-bane in the library trying to pronounce Przemysl. Thomas McAllister spell bound. Ch . ' -ch heart failure from excitement over a game of checkers. Hiinght tongue tied in presence of Miss Shaw. Hank had to have shock absorber used when elected contest debator. Wilkins is looking better, but he doesn ' t look good, yet. Everly cracked, because he went broke. Marg. Connelly was exposed to Physiology in Prof. Wright ' s class — but it didn ' t take. 142

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7 Je Co ?crsecr 7 An Unprobed Leak from M. K. F. Initiation Are you dissipated, got any bad habits? Scared applicant, I some- times chew a little gum. What is the equator? An imaginary lion running around the earth. What two things did you refuse to eat for dinner? Breakfast and supper. Where is St. Paul? In heaven with St. Peter. What is a Republican? A sinner mentioned in the Bible. Wife ' s maiden name, if any? (Answer not heard.) Have you seen a fellow around here with a wooden leg named Murphy? What ' s the name of his other leg? Did you ever do any acting? Yes, was once leading man. With what company? Led dogs in Uncle Tom ' s Cabin. How do you account for your deficiency in spelling? Bad spells during infancy. When two horses finish a race neck and neck — is that a neck-tie? (Answer Muffled.) Would it be best for air planes to carry electric lights? Yes it would make it easier for the aviators to light. How would you shuffle a pack of hounds? (Gi ' oands heard.) Why do we call them angle worms? They ' re round aren ' t they? What time would you spade the ground for an auto truck garden? An- swer not caught. Sentry appeared. 141

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7 e Co ?crsea ; Abridged Dictionary Beat it — German — aufwiedershen ; Latin — vale. Bluff — To appear what you ain ' t. Bone-head — Not yet comprehended. Broke — A chronic condition of the pocket-book. Butt-in — To appear where you are not wanted. Cinch — A degree of mental development that produces tailor made, women, fantastically — sheared poodles and docktailed horses. Dead Sea Fruit — Lemons. Divorce — The consolation prize in the lottery of marriage. Dough-head — Plastic. Dypepsia — A good foundation for a bad temper. Experience — A hard thing to be unless you have the ready money. Firmness — That admirable quality in ourselves that is detestable stub- borness in others. Flattery — Something we must generally pay for in the long run. Flunk — The Latin word for 69 or less. ' Flush — A disease common after returning from home. For heaven ' s sake — A misnomer. Fussed — Excited worse or worser. Goat; — Something very apt to turn to butter. Happiness — Something usually found by those who don ' t seek it. Hug — A roundabout way of expressing affection. Jollier — A flatterer who isn ' t an artist at the job. Life — A book in which it is just as well that we can ' t turn to the last page. Moon — The only lighting monopoly that never made money. Onion — The all-around champion of the Vegetable Kingdom; garlic and cabbage being close rivals. Scandal — Composite fiction. Worry — The magnifying glass thru which we see our troubles. 143