Pennsylvania Western University - Calnorsean Yearbook (California, Pennsylvania)

Page 142 text:

7 re Ca ?crsee7 7 LaughletS— Continued A teacher in a village school had a difficult time in teaching her boys to sound the final g. One day she said to one of her pupils, John read this sentence. John got up and read, What a fine time we are havin? What, said the teacher, did you forget all about the ' g ' ? John ' s face brightened up and he replied, Gee, what a fine time we are havin? Teacher — Mary, how many zones are there? Mary — Four, ma ' am. Teacher — Yes? Name them. Mary — The frigerated, the horrid, the temperance and the intemper- ance. Miss S. says in tones severe: Now what is that blot doing here? Learn to write with ink quite neatly. Learn to place your finger sbraightly. Or else you ' ll sigh and wipe your eye. And say, I ' ve failed! I wonder why? 138

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7 ?e Co ?crsea ; AUCIILtT Teacher — Give me the longest sentence. Pupil — Imprisonment for life. One day Willie ran into a grocery and said, Eleven pounds of coffee at 25 cents; eight pounds of tea at 30 cents and ten pounds sugar at 6 cents and how much will it be altogether? Five dollars and seventy-five cents. Are you quite sure? Yes. All right. Thanks. Tliat ' s my nightwork for tomorrow. And WiUie fled. Senior — Only fools are certain; wise men hesitate. Junior — Are you sure? Senior — Yes, my friend, certain of it. - ' • Boy — Mother, teacher said I had a talent as inventer. Mother (pleased) — Did she? What did she say you could invent? Boy — She said I could invent more ways of spelling than anyone she ever heard of. 137

Page 143 text:

ie Ca ?crsea ? Barks Prof. Wright — I beg your pardon, but do you follow me? Weary Junior — I have so far, but I ' ll say frankly that if I thought I could find my way back, I ' d go. Marino Tanzi sent home for a Kathleen Mavourneen Loose (viz.) — It may be for years and it may be for ever. Sis Rothwell ruined a perfectly good hat talking thru it. Prin. W. S. H. — I will enforce the law to the letter. There are many letters among them let-er-slide. Overheard — Miss Jarvis, so many men marry for money nowadays — you wouldn ' t marry mie for money would you? No dear, I wouldn ' t marry you for all the money in the world. Junior — Was Van surprised when he found he ' d flunked math? Senior — Yes,,he said it never entered his head. Soph — Is that freshie strong? Junior — Well I guess! I saw him break a dollar the other day. Prof. English — What is the trough of the sea? Bright Freshie — Oh! that is what the ocean greyhounds drink out of. Prof. Field — Were you copying his notes? Student — Oh, no sir! I was only looking to see if he had mine right. It ' s a good thing for Hank and Werner that photography is painless. Hank is practicing on his horn. The only restrictions made by Prof ' s. Wright and Veon are — Not to play on Sundays, on week days, at nights, or on holidays. Found — In Chapel last week a 14-karat gold link cuff button with initials. If previous owner will communicate with the editor-in-chief, he will match him as to who gets both. The choir at vespers was full last Sunday and the music was excellent. Black went to Nineveh hunting last fall but all he got was — back. The Juniors are so close they won ' t even spend the afternoon, they pass it. 139