Pembroke High School - Mattakeesett Yearbook (Pembroke, MA)

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THE WAMPUM 19 was making up for the sleep he had lost when he presented his astonishing inventions to the world. The food having been digested, the toasts were opened by Billy Sunday, who had been the unanimous choice for toastmaster, -since he had the big- gest gift of gab, as Enrico Caruso said, of all the shades. The first speaker introduced was Bryan. He had chosen as his topic, Peace at any Pricej' a subject which it pleased him greatly to speak upon. He said in part: We must always maintain peace among us here, for peace is the brotherhood of man. We must settle all disputes by arbitration, not by the sword 3 for a victory without blood is far greater-. Here his speech abruptly ended as Charlie Chaplin, ever getting himself in Wrong, applied a moist spit-ball, which had been dipped in salad dressing, to the peace advo- cateis nose. This resulted in a physi- cal encounter, which ended only when the two were seized and carried off to serve two days with only doughnut holes to eat. Apart from the rest in a nearby cor- ner sat Kaiser Wilhelm. The German Emperor, who had been a very naughty boy in the upper kingdom, had been punished there by a seat apart from the rest. Sunday, always a gentleman, politely asked that he hear from the Frankfort King, but Bill Kaiser had not a word to say. When the toasts were finished, all re- tired to the recreation rooms, where some indulged in games, others in top- ics of general interest. It was at this time that a heated discussion arose in the lounging room. Rockefeller as- serted that Newton Newkirk should have been arrested when he lived in the upper world. Newkirk, he claimed, was Harry Thaw,s chauffeur when that flighty individual escaped from Matte- wan. Sherman Whipple, in order to adjust the disagreement, offered to hold a trial at which each should -have a fair chance to produce evidence and necessary witnesses. With a water pit- cher serving as a gavel, Whipple called together the court. He said, We are h-olding court here this evening to de- cide whether or not Newkirk should have been arrested for his part in Thaw's escape. Mr. Rockefeller, what is your charge against the prisoner P John D. cleared his throat and in a hoarse voice responded, 5'For reckless driving, your honor. How so P inquired Whipple grave- ly. About this time Mr. Rocketellerds patience was well nigh exhausted. He replied, I repeat, your honor, for reckless driving. I have proof here that the prisoner drove through the town of Mattewan at high speed with a loose nut. What more is needed, your hon- or, to prove him guilty? This last statement sent the entire shade population into convulsions of laughter at 'Thaw,s expense. At the end, Whipple judiciously pronounced the prisoner released, as it was a clear case of one and one making two. At nine-thirty all retired to bed, where the shades wearily laid their heads on their pillows and fell asleep. Nothing could be heard in the stillness but the deep-mouthed bay of a heavy sleeper, and the incessant beating of the water against the coral reef. And as the sun gently rose in the eastern sky, a wearied b0y awakened in Bry- antville, Mass. A, H, D, 18- SUPPOSE. It was a lovely morning, about four o'clock. The sun, which had just risen, was throwing glistening beams over an

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18 THE WAMPUM down, stay a few moments, and go up to the cloud again. At first a narrow strip of mist could be seen 5 then it gradually broadened to half a mile. All at once it disappeared as quickly as it had come, as soon as that went, the storm cleared, showing a beautiful crimson sunset. Later I found out that the object was called a water spout, something frequently seen in this part of the country. L. M. D., '20, AMONG THE. IMMORTALS According to the modern idea in the thirtieth century, when a man dies he does not go to -Hades or Erebus, as the ancients believed, but to Subter- seania. This place was located in the misty deeps of the Bartic Ocean. For centuries the number of shades had increased until finally a modern city had been built among the slimy seaweeds, to the terror of the great greeneyed monsters who ruled the deeps. This city contained all modern conveniences, and no man above the age of fifty was required to work. The population was entirely male, since laws forbade the entrance of the fair sex. The shades were transported hither by means of a large submarine which ran daily between the earth and Sub- terseania. The line was managed by George Mellen, former president of the N. Y., N. H., 85 Hartford Railroad, who still dabbled in stocks even in his place of banishment and frequently was known to be a heavy loser. His greatest boast, however, was that he had the honor to escort the Hon. Wil- liam J. Bryan to his resting place. On a warm summer night, in the above described locality, the main dining hall doors were flung open, and a mad rush for favorite seats en- sued. Pandemonium reigned for a few moments, but when all became calm, the steward was found helping to his feet the enraged Monsieur Poin- care, who had been care'lessly trodden upon during the rush. When each shade had carefully spread his napkin in his lap, grace was asked by Mr. William Sunday. Beside the evangelist sat William J. Bryan, who was carefully pouring out the contents of a large-necked bottle bearing the label Grape Juice. Op- posite the famous peace advocate sat Theodore Roosevelt, ex-president of the United States and hero of San Juan Hill. Filling T. R.'s glass to the brim, Bryan brought 'his up in tribute to the former president, who responded with a jovial De-e-lighted. At the farther end sat Woodrow Wil- son, another ex-oflicio, who was earn- estly talking to Mr. Henry Ford, an automobile manufacturer, between sips, Ford was trying to get Wloodrow to in- vest in a new model car which he was having patented, but Wilson refused, stating that he had saved but two buf- falo nickels during his entire 'admin- istration of eight years. Separated from Wilson by two chairs, sat Charles E. Hughes, who had been elected president when he retired at night, but who had awakened in the morning to find that his term had ex- pired. Since both were bitter personal and political enemies, they had scarce- ly spoken to each other after their ban- ishment from the upper kingdom. Others of minor importance were Charlie Chaplin, Jess Willard, Andrew Carnegie, Ty Cobb, and John D. Rock- efeller. The absence of Edison was es- pecially noticeable, but as this was a. frequent event, he was not missed. Otn the pool table in the billiard room he

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20 THE WAMPUM expanse of blue-green waters. A man came from behind a sand bank, and pushing a dory from the shore rowed to a motor boat. In a few minutes he was at the engine, and the big boat be- gan to plow her way out. Evidently he was a lobster dealer, for a great pile of lobster pots, all baited, with their anchors and ropes attached, were on the front of the boat. At last he reached a place which was quite free from bobbing lobster buoys. He reached forward, and taking hold of a rope, was about to push one of the pots off, when an extra large swell came and threw the man forward. Instant- ly the pots began to slide off, pulling the man with them. Ropes tangled about his legs, and the rocks pushed him down. He grabbed for the side of the boat and-missed it. Again he reached, and this time his fingers closed about the edge. Struggling and breathless, he pulled himself onto the boat. He looked about him. Cn three sides lay an ugly expanse of green Waters, on the other a faint strip of yellow beach, and not a soul in sight. Again he looked into the gray waters, and under his breath he murmured, Suppose-- M. M. n '18, THE LOST WORLD The Lost World by Conan Doyle is one of the most interesting books written in recent years. The story is as follows: Malone, a London reporter, proposes to the lady he loves, but he is refused. She tells him that he must do something dangerous, and wonderful before she will marry him. Malone gets an assignment from the head reporter the next day 5 he is to in- terview Prof. Challenger, a man who has a marked ability for kicking re- porters into the street. Malone goes into the gutter in the same manner as many others have gone, but upon his telling the interfering officer that it is his own fault, Challenger invites- him back. In this second visit Chal- lenger shows hinf proof of an unknown world in South America. At a lecture a few days later, Chal- lenger tells the people that there is a great plateau in South America on which there are many prehistoric ani- mals. He receives much jeering, but his suggestion of a party 'to investigate the matter somewhat quells the noise. Three men volunteer to go, Malone, J-ohn Roxton, a Sportsman, and Prof. S-ummerlee. Several days afterward the three set out, with sealed orders which they have faithfully promised not to openim- til the noon after their arrival in Slouth America. When they open the envel- ope, they find nothing but a blank piece of paper 3 Prof. Summerlee, who believes this a proof that they have come on a wild goose chase, calls Challenger a few names, and says he well return as soon as possible. He has hardly finished talking when Prof. Challenger walks ing he has come to take charge himself. They soon get together a band of negroes and some provisions, and the next day they start into the wilderness. Very little happens on the way from civilization, and about two weeks later they find themselves before a large plateau. This plateau is about six hun- dred feet high, and it is with great difficulty that they get to the top. They find a dense forest there, into which they no sooner disappear than they hear a loud crash. Upon returning they find that the only means of de- scent which they know of has been des- troyed by an enemy of Roxton. They build a small camp, where they store 1