Pelham Continuation School - Pelham Pnyx (Fenwick, Ontario Canada)

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THE PELHAM PNYX Bob Caven Arthur A. Craise G'I'OCS1'1i?ggi1Li13eI!1Sh .md INSKRANCE All kinds of Cooked Melts under In all its branches i proper refrigeration L v 19 James St. St, Catharines Phone 'Jw If f Dffizfr 1 EXAWNED HTTED q Diseafes K Deformiries ofthe feet Otiice Hours: 9.33 ro 11.00 ' 1.30 ro ym 4 4 Evenings by Appointment LL9 br. Pgul br. Phone L56 Q w A 131 bt. Paul br. Opp. James N' Clthm-mcg Phone .ilgf St. Catharines B' J Sc C lssonnette, oy o. ST. CATHARIXES Crater! Store For L Men and Boys ! I

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THE PELHAM PNYX SI Joan of Arc was the daughter of a pheasant. Dot M.: Did anyone ever tell you how clever you are? Ray C.: No, I don't think they did. Dot M.: Then I'd like to know where you got the idea from. Uncle: If I gave you a large apple and a small one and told you to divide it with your brother, which apple would you give him? Donald A.: Do you mean my big brother or my little brother? Kenneth Hampton: Great Scott, who wrote Ivanhoe? ' Sonny I-laist: I'll tell you, if you tell me who the Dickens wrote Oliver Twist. Bud: I want to shave but I can't tind my mug. Toni: It's under your whiskers. Teacher: Can anyone tell me what happened after Caesar mustered his army? Bill A.: I-Ie peppered the enemy and took the citadel by assault. Ikey: Your overcoat is rather loud. Bill P.: It's all right when I put on a muffler. Wong: You savvy that piano stool you sell me? Shopkeeper: Yes, what about it? Wong: No good! Me twisty, me twirly, again me twisty, but he make no music! There was a young man called Paul, Who grew so tremendously tall, That, when in bed He could stretch out his leg, And turn out the light in the hall. The subject Water had been given as an essay topic. Keith Swayze wrote: Water is a white, wet liquid, which turns black when you wash in it. Gordon Beamer at the P. C. S. Tuck Shop: I-low long is my hot-dog go- ing to be? Waitress: Oh, about four and a half inches. Miss D.: What do you consider the greatest accomplishment of the Romans? Stan Reilly: Learning Latin. Bill Colcock, 'after contributing his story to the editor of the Pnyx: I got through that story in an hour and thought nothing of it. Gordon Beamer CEditorj: I got through your story in half that time and thought the same thing. Farmer: Where do you wash? Camping Boy Scout: In the spring, of course. Farmer: I said where, not when. .rp l

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THE PELHAM PNYX 83 V V You look at an expression like alxl plus b1y1 plus labxy-C1 and say var- ious things Ccourtesy of Mr. Laingj. Gordon Beamer Qtranslating Frenchj: UI offered my arm to a little girl of short stature. Harold H.: Let's skip classes and take in a show. john W.: Can't do it, old man. I need the sleep. Harold H.: Is it right that Mr. Laing should punish me for something I didn't do? Mr. Crossley: Why no, what did he punish you for? Harold: For not doing my homework. In History, we learn that the early settlers used to take back tales of animals to France. The modern girl is fond of clothes. but not entirely wrapped up in them. Customer: Waiter, did you say these eggs were fresh laid? Waiter: Yes, sir. fresh laid on toast. Anabel, after driving into a garage: Would you tell me what is the mat- ter with my car? Mechanic: Oh, your engine is missing. madamf' Anabel: That's funny, it was there when I started out. Miss Dixon: XYe know from our texts we should have birch bark. re- sinous dead limbs and a dead pine stump for building a tire. What else do we need, Gordon? Gordon B.: A match. hir. Crossley: Given: Chas. G. D. Roberts' father was a cannon. Con- clusion: Chas G. D. Roberts was a son of a gun . There was a young man from the city Who saw what he thought was a kitty He gave it a pat Said, XVhat a pretty cat! They buried his clothes out of pity. - The professor was putting the tinishing touches to his new concrete path- 'way. Tommy, aged six, had been watching the proceedings with great in- terest, and at length, deeming the time right for trial, started' to cross before the mixture was dry. I When the professor displayed his annoyance a passer-by observed: Why, professor, I thought you liked children. ' I like them all right in the abstract, the professor replied, but not in the concrete. Bob: Dad, can you sign your name with your eyes shut? Mr. Goss: Certa1nly. Bob: Well, then, shut your eyes and sign my report card.