Pelham Continuation School - Pelham Pnyx (Fenwick, Ontario Canada)

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THE PELHAM PNYX 79 HUMOUR The woman who fired 5 times at her husband wants him to return home -she misses him so. We wonder: If our English teacher is a book-worm, is our Geometry teacher an angle-worm? The English class was asked to write an account of a ball game. The following composition was handed in by Ray Collyer- Rain, No Game. FOR SALE-Two tame, well-educated mice Cthey have been through our high schoolD. Apply 3rd Form. As the ink said to the pen: Oh, you dip. Don: Why did the little mouse leave home? Donna: Because his father was a rat. A Scotsman from the remote Highlands paid his hrst visit to London. On arriving at Euston a voice said, Taxi, sir? The fellow shook his head. After exploring London our Scots friend went on to Bristol. On emerg- ing from the station he heard the familiar hail: Taxi, sir? No, thank ye, he bawled. I said 'Nol' in London and l meant it. Now stop following me about. Father: Johnny, what is this '6o' on your report card? Johnny: I-I-Ith-think that's the temperature of the schoolroomf' Father: Well, Willie, what did you learn at school to-day? Willie CproudlyD: I learned to say Yes, sir, and No, sir, and Yes Ma'am, and NO, Ma'am . Father: You did! Willie: Yeah ' 1 As one hole in the ground said to the other hole in the ground: Gee, l feel empty inside! One mouse said to another mouse: Oh , you squealer! A small boy at school for the first time began to sob bitterly. What's the matter, sonny? asked the teacher. Please, Miss, l don't like school, and I've to be here till I'm 14. Oh, don't worry about that, said the teacher, l've to be here till I'm 65! ' Ted: Teacher says I have an inventive genius.' Mrs. Guinn Cbeamingy Splendid! And what did she say you could in- vent? Ted: New ways of spelling words. Diagrams are delicate things just below the ribs, and above the stomach.

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78 THE PELHAM PNYX ' L 5 Font 1ll an age l h ' G l A. R. MINOR, P1-gp, ACETYLENE WELDING AUTO ACCESSORIES Willard Batteries Goodyear Tires I Phone Sgw Fonthill 1 9 . . ' M B E HOWELL PAGE Q I -lg' I ICE CREAM CANDY Quality Groceries, Cured Meats TOBACCOS LUNCHES , Fresh Fruits and Vegetables T .S . LLVZ L'l'l'lL'L' Phone IGLKI Fonrhill .Phone 10311 Fonthill ll ClIl1,7P!1llIt'l?f.li of G L Drake 8: Barron I BUTCHER FURNITURE AND Quality Fresh and Cured INIeats FUNERAL DIRECTORS W, D,jm,,- PIIOHCSO1 Fomhill ll Phone Ridgeville ww, Pomhiii l . L. GILES l ELECTRICAL CONTRACTOR l Eleftrif Soil Hmfizzg tl Spemzlg Frigidaire Refrigerators Beach Ranges Appliances Fixtures I Phone Ridgeville 16Sw Fonthill l i , ,L

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T-E ELHAN NYX QQ WEZWEZ VOLUME VIH ADRIL 1940 No. S Page Editorial Committee ..... .,......,. 7 Message from the Principal ,....i 9 Message from the School Board ,.,, Editorials ...,..,......,,....,.... ln Memoriam... . . Literary Section- A Mother's Sacrifice ..,...., One Glorious Hour ,... ,....., P. C. S. Goes to Parliament .... A Glorious Adventure ....... Happenings in the Night ...,.. Upper School Prolics of 1945 ..... Little Willie Before Company 4... Temperamental Susie .......... Pity and the Life-Saver ..,... New Year Resolutions.. . , The Graf Spee ,........ Grade X ,........... Another To-Morrow ..... .... A Peculiar Pet .....,...,........,...... My Adventures with a Peasant Woman .,.. On Grade IX Names ...... .........,... Bird's Eye View of Aeroplanes ..... Early Schools of Ontario ......... Travel as a Means of Education ,.,,,.,..... The History ofR1dgev1lle .......,............ . . The Influence of the Radio on Public Opinion .... , . Old Fort Erie ..........................,.... . . Platinum ..i...,..........,..........,.... Commercial Section .... Poetry Section ........ Valedictory Address .... Alumni ........i...,. School Notes .,... Sports ......... Exchange ....., Humour .......,. ........ Directory of Advertisers .... Autographs ........... IS IO I1 I-I w LO ll -l -l 7 9 go 31 33 3-l 33 36 37 38 40 41 41 43 44 45 48 51 53 55 65 75 79 95 96