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Page 28 text:
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Helpful books written by Seniors of the Class of '17. eshmen and others whom it may benefit. Dedicated to Ft By Joe. 1. “How to Get Ninety-eight in Deportment..............By Lois May Velde 2. “How to Fall in Love ...............................By Dorothy Bailey 3. “How to Make the Girls Smile at You ..................By Roscoe Weaver 4. “How to Lose Your Heart”.............................By Elsie Waltmire 5. “The Art of Throwing a Note”..........................By Julia Maurer 6. “How to Dance Gracefully ........................By Vanita Schleder 7. “How to Get to School on Time”......................By Carl Soldwedel 8. How to Make a Date ................................By Richard Allen 9. “How to Flirt ......................................By Gladys Byram 10. “How to Grow One Ten-thousandth of an Inch a Year ............. ................................................By Harley Rankin 11. “How Girls Can Get Emblems”.........................By Amelia Kraeger 12. How to Make a Pony’”...................................By Oscar Hill 13. “How to Write Love Letters”...........................By Agnes Smith 14. “Advantages of Bright Headlights ................By Clarence Heckman 15. “How to Work More for Less Wages”...................By Amelia Hoffert 16. The Cause of Some Automobile Accidents.............By Louise Ricketts 17. “How to Obtain Natural Curly Hair ....................By Helen Glunz 18. “New Ways to Earn Money for the Senior Class .........By Irene Joerger 19. “How to Get Out of Shorthand Class”..............B. William Nordhoff 20. “How to Keep from Smoking .......................By Armand Stdinmetz 21. “How to be Heard All Over the Building”..........By Frances Williams 22. “How to Make a Hit with a Certain Type of Teacher”............. ................................................By Luella Carver 23. “Why Preachers Are Likable ...........................By Irene Ripper 24. “How to Impersonate a Girl”.........................By Walter Meyer 25. “Reliable Information About Engagement Rings”.........By Irene Stumm 26. “How to Keep Possession of Your Heart”..............By Louise Hornish 27. How to Relate Your Life History ................By Martha Lauterbach 28. “How to Obtain a Speed of Five Words per Minute”............... .............................................By Helen Soechtig 29. “How to Be Bossy”................................By Catherine Rollins 30. “How to Memorize Political Economics ............By Louise Helfenstein 31. “How to Be an Expert Bookkeeper”............................... ..........................By Sadie Van Osdol and Christena Petri 32. “How to Get Married”...................................By Nellie Allyn 33. “How to Get Burned in Chemistry”.........................By Ruth Evans Sifllllllllll amis
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Page 27 text:
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“And have you ever attended any of her lectures?” I asked. “O, yes. She gave one in S. Bartonville about a month ago. and Frances Williams, who is a teacher of voice and harmonics in that vicinity, gave a lew selections to help along.” “And do any of our other old class mates patronize these educational lectures of Vanita?” I questioned. “I was over-joyed to find a number at this one,” Harley said. “Agnes Smith came over from East Peoria, where she is a police woman; Luella Carver drove her Ford all the way from S. Pekin, where she left a flourishing ice-cream parlor; Louise Helffenstein managed to cancel several social engagements and came over from Grove Siding—and it is at this place where she reigns society Queen—and Gladys Byram sacrificed a half-day from her work as Joke Editor for the Tremont Morning Blast; then, too, Julia Maurer came down from Peoria, where she was filling an engagement at the Orphing-ton Amusement Company as rag time singer. I think that was all.” “They certainly show spirit, I admitted. “And speaking of Julia's §§ stage success, are there any others on the legitimate?” “Indirectly, he said, “I read in the paper that Helen Soechtig had gone to Russia to learn toe-dancing. In the same column was an article stating that Martha Lauterbach wrote home, saying that she was enjoying her mission as war nurse in Africa. As I was there at the hotel reading, in came Irene Ripper, who immediately began a notable demonstration of the superior quality of Faust’s Macaroni. She prepared a dish before us all. after first assuring us that there was nothing hidden in her coat sleeves.” “A macaroni demonstrator! I gurgled. “And does she travel alone? “O, no,” he continued. “Immediately after she had exhibited her tact, Ruth Evans, her travelling companion, opened a neat little case and began a detailed oration, wherein she outlined the beauty values of her ‘Ruby Lip arid Cheek Rouges.’ O, it was interesting!” “I do not remember Ruth to have been interested along that line, particularly, but I do hope her sales are good.” “Yes, and they are,” he said. “Nellie Allyn, then in town for a visit, purchased some. Nellie is down in Florida raising cane, that is, sugar.” “And was she her only patron?” I asked. “One other,” he remarked, and his head was drooping low, “Irene Stumm. You have, no doubt, read Irene’s articles in the ‘Saturday Evening Roast.’ She writes the famous ‘Memoirs of a Bachelor Girl.” “O, Harley, we have named them all,” I cried joyfully. “W’a’s dat you say?” “I say, ‘we have named them all'.” “What you mean; de new kittens? Sure, we done named dem one week ago.” How ridiculous he was beginning to talk! No, it was not Harley, sensible little (I mean big) Harley, for my negress servant had entered into my conversation while I was talking aloud in my sleep. As I turned my sleepladen eyes toward her, she gave me a quizzical look, and after making a desperate attempt to suppress a titter, took enormous strides in the direction of quitting my company. By this time I had fully “come-to”, so before the || last inch of red bandanna disappeared, I called to her saying, “Becky, prepare luncheon for one more to-morrow. We are going to have a guest. It is Mr. Hecketsweiler, who was my History teacher when I was a Senior. He has quit the profession of Pedagogy and is now head-salesman of the Spearmint Gum Company. Of course, all this doesn’t interest you. Becky, but as he will be in the city tomorrow, I feel as if we ought to have him.” “Sho ’nough,” affirmed the faithful Becky, “Mistah—O. I can't reco- g member de name—but de Spearmint Gum man am welcome.” “And, Becky,” I continued, “won't you bring in some fuel? The hearth fire died out, and I'm nearly frozen—but happy,” I added. iiniiiiiiiiiHiiiiiMiiiiiiJU .....
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