Paxton High School - Reflector Yearbook (Paxton, IL)

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 REFLECTOR JOKES Hear your cook quit. Jack. Yep. My swedie went away. Freshie: “I don’t feel well this morning. Soph: Where do you feel worse? Freshie: In school. Teacher: Describe water, Johnny. Johnny: Water is a white fluid that turns black when you put your hands in it. Green Eyes: “The boys certainly fall for her. Wonder what kind of perfume she uses?” Second Green Eyes: Ether, I’ll bet. Miss Sharp: ‘And when Lord Chesterfield saw that death was near, he gathered his friends around him and before he breathed his last he uttered those immortal words. Who can tell me what the dying words of Lord Chesterfield were? Class (in chorus) : They Satisfy.” Two Sophs strolled into the Latin classroom. The first one sniffled, What smells so funny in here- It must be the dead language, said the second. No, spoke up the professor, It s the rotten grades. A wise man makes himself known by his silence, a fool by his noise.’ 1 hat is the reason so many seniors in American History think they re so smart. Clever: Say you dumb, did you ever have your head examined? Cleverer: Yah, once, and the teacher wouldn t let anyone sit close to me afterwards. Edgar R.: Do you know any- thing worse than having measles and smallpox at the same time? Oty: Yes. Having rheumatism with Saint Vitus dance. Small Boy: Say, I got an uncle with a wooden leg. Boys Friend: Ho, that’s nothing, 1 got a sister with a cedar chest. Prof.: What are you doing here? Learning anything?” Student: No, sir, 1 m just listening to you. Teacher: Jimmy, what crops are raised in China? Jimmy (rather loudly): Dish- es. Teacher (in history): Yes Old Jackson as I knew him was a fine man. Pupil (stage whisper): “Gee, she s older than I thought she was. Page Seventeen

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“Em Wylie has been pledged Kappa Alpha Theta. She seems to have taken quite an interest in the Phi Si, Phi Gamm, and Beta fraternities. We wish you luck, Em. Arny Carlsten is serving an apprenticeship in Davis' Drug Store. He expects to enter an Apothecary School in the near future. Marion Piele, Viola Gylander, Winona Gardner, Francis Glad, Harriet Cain, Ivan Johnson, Goldie Carlson, Evalyn Turner, Bob Moffett, and Walter Swanson are staying at home this year. Arline Carlsten has a fine position with Moline Brothers as stenographer Bercile Burkard, Flo Lindquist, and Bessie Steward are atteding Normal University. Martha Belle Dunnan is preparing for kindergarten work at Oklahoma University. Pete Rasmussen is working for the Zitterell Company. Irma Morrison and Pauline Given are attending school at Wheaton. Doc Corbly expects to enter a business school. Ramy Johnson will enter George Washington University. Nina Mullinax is working at the canning factory at present. Gladys Hodam, Lillie Johnson, Phoebe Johnson, Sarah Mae Kenney, and Myrtle Stange have become the strictest (?) of school marms. Zetta Jones is working in Kankakee. Ebba Tinberg has a position a? stenographer. Harold Hagens is attending Mil-liken University. BE INFORMED (Continued from Page 13) only enjoyed seeing your beautiful city but it has given me the greatest pleasure to meet your fine citizens. Never in any other city have I seen such intelligent and thrifty people. It gladdens my heart to see that so many have come to hear me tonight. I certainly feel that I am very much honored to be able to address such intelligent people. I am afraid I am not deserving of so great a favor. I am to talk to you tonight on ‘Who Will Make the Best President.’ Now I have taken the greatest pains to make a careful examination of this affair, in order that my judgment may be founded on true facts, and my well formed opinion of the affair is this: The candidate who will make the best President is the one who is not interested in personal gain or in the welfare of certain friends but in the common good of the nation. I want to thank everyone for their kind attention this evening. I hope I have not tired you out with too many political records and stories. I always aim to come right to the point and not put in too many tiresome and misleading details. It has certainly been the greatest pleasure to talk to this audience. Never in any other city have I ever talked to such interested and attentive listeners. I want once more to tell you how pleased I have been to come to this beautiful city and to t=»lk to its intelligent citizens, and I hope that what I have said to you this evening will prove useful in the coming election. I thank you. —Frances Lindley. —Page Sixteen—

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Ex-Student: P. C. H. S. cer- tainly turns out some fine men. Soph: ‘When did you gradu- ate? ExStudent: 1 didn’t; they kick- ed me out. Mr. Brown: What’s the idea of all the dishes on my radio? Mrs. Brown: So we can now tell our friends we got China on our radio. 1 won’t wash my face. said Dolly defiantly. Naughty, naughty, reproved grandmother, When 1 was a little girl I always washed my face. Yes, and now look at it. Bob, were you ever in love? “Yes, once. Well, what is love? Love is an abscess on a feller s pocket-book. Sure an what the divil is a chafing-dish? asked Pat. “Whist, man, answered Nora, It's a fryin' pan that’s got into society. Sunday School Teacher: Now can anyone tell me who made the milky way? Tommy: It was the cow that jumped over the moon. Teacher: What letter is next to H?” Boy: Dunno. Teacher: “Well think now, what have 1 on both sides of my nose? Boy: “Freckles, Ma'am. Teacher: What tense do I use when I say, 1 am beautiful.” Pupil: Remote past. Stew Pidd: “This match won’t light. Hugh Merous: “That’s funny; it lit all right a minute ago. 1st Junior: Have ycu got any thumbtacks 2nd Junior: No, will a fingernail do? 1st Mother (reading college son's letter) : Tom’s letters are always sending me to the dictionary. 2nd Mother: “That’s nothing— Dick's letters are always sending me to the bank. Little Winnie was being instructed by her mother, who was to receive a titled visitor. When Lord Blank speaks to you you must address him as ‘My Lord. Winnie became confused when the gentleman asked her, How old are you, dearie? And in a squeaky little voice she replied, My God, 1 am five. THEIR HOBBIES Mr. Spires—Law and enforcement. Mr. Swinney—Mostly enforcement. Mr. Garnett—Calling on those that don’t know. Mr. Toon— Too much talking in under-tone. Mr. Pierce—The three minutes after announcements. Miss Gracen—Minimizing the gum-chewing sin. Miss Kerns—Teaching public speaking and prohibiting it in the assembly. Miss Sharp — Bringing Shakespeare up to date. Miss Koch—“I can’t learn it for you. Miss Hammond— Permission to speak is not for the entire period. Mrs. Toon—Silence is as good as gold. Miss Troxel—Actions speak louder than words. Miss Hieronymous—Causes and effects. Mr. Randle—Looking wise. —Page Kighteen