Paxton High School - Reflector Yearbook (Paxton, IL)

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Paxton High School Reflector 23 ANtiELINE: Lay myself down an’ cut me in two. I’ll never tell. PROF. D.: Well, I’m in love. AXGELINB (greatly surprised): In love? ? ? Not you. Professor? ? ? PROF. I), (gazing heavenward): Yes, Miss Angeline, I've found my soulmate. ANGELINE: Say. how does it feel anyway, and who’s the lucky lady? (Makes a question-mark with her finger.) PROF. D.: To he sure. To be sure. ANGELINE (winking): Why I haven’t the faintest idea. PROF. 1).: Tut, tut. my dear young lady, surely you must have noticed my daily increasing admiration for your aunt. (Angeline appears greatly astonished.) PROF. D.: But my dear, here-in lies the difficulty. I scarcely know how best to broach the delicate subject of matrimony to one whose judgment is so superior and discriminating. You see modem methods of proposing •differ so greatly from those of my unfledged youth. A NO KLINE: Oh, so you had a little experience in your younger days Professor? PROF. D.: Tut tut. my child, tut tut. you know, as I have often said. I never understood-------------. ANOKLINE: Yes, of course, but what about my advice? PROF. I).: To be sure, to be sure now what mode of conveying my sentiment would it be best to employ in asking her for her heart and hand? ANGELINE (seriously): Well, of course I’ve never had much exper- ience. but my motto has always been “Pop the question suddenly.” That's what I want my man to do when he comes along and. will I fall in? I’ll say so. I'm sure that’s the only tli’ng that will work with Aunt Priscilla. ’Cause you know a faint heart never won fair lady! PROF. I).: Quite so. my dear, quite so. Now you’re absolutely sure it will work? ANGELINE: Well if it doesn’t. I’ll kick the bucket. (Exit.) PROF. I . (rising and walking up and down the stage): Most remarkable. most remarkable. “Pop the question suddenly, pop the question suddenly, pop the question suddenly, pop— (Enter Aunt Priscilla.) AI N'T P.: Why. Professor what in the world are you talking about? PROF. I) : Ahem! Ahem! Indeed, indeed Miss Angeline, and 1 were just saying how pop—hcvv popular you had become in our little village. It is to be regretted that you cannot establish yourself in a home of your own with a sympathising companion. AI N'T P.: I cannot say that I agree with you. Professor. I have lived foah fc.ihty-eight yeahs, nine months and thirteen days without a husband, and I feel quits capable of living 48 yeahs, 9 months and 1” days moah without one. (Prof. I), nervously moves about, brushes his coat arranges his tie— swallows at least four times. Then kneels, places a hand on his heart and one toward her.) PROF. I).: Priscilla, will you marry me? AI N'T P.: Oh! Oh Samuel, this is sc sudden. (Clasps her hands and faints half on the davenport, half in the Professors arms.) (Paces from davenport to door, frantically calling.) PROF. D.: Katie! Katie! water quick! (Angeline who has been hiding behind a large chair and the table now jumps up.) ANGELINE (yelling): Oh Ma. come quick! Aunt Prisy’as fainted! (Enter Rosie, Mrs. R. and Katie.)

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22 Paxton High School Reflector KATIE: Yis mom. (aside.) An' faith it's meself that's thinkin' :hat plagued Anglishmon is hangin’ aroun’ this jaint mighty often of lat 3. (Coes to the door and calls): ‘Step right in Professor.” (The Professor advances in his usual way hclding behind him a very prim bouquet.) PROF. I), (bowing): Good afternoon, ladies. 1 tri:s: I'm not inter- rupting a pleasant little tete-a-tete. MRS. R.: Not at all. Professor. You know you are always welcome. Won't yen be seated? PROP. D.: 1 assure you. Mrs. Rollister. your hospitality is unpreced- ented. (Turning to Aunt P. he offers her the flowers with a low bow placing a hand on his heart.) Are you fond of forget-me-nots. Miss Patterson? AUNT P. (beaming): Oh. 1 simply adcah them, and so does James Cox, heah. (Holds the bouquet to her nose and then to the cat's.) And that reminds me, Sistah. Its high time he was liavng h's sattcah of milk. Professor, would you excuse me foah just an instant, as 1 nevah can intrust the feeding of my deah pet to that imprudent maid? PROF. I).: Most assuredly, most assuredly. (Exit Ar.ntP. and Mrs. R.) (The Prof, marches up and down the stage murmuring) — Bless my soul, bless my soul—a most remarkable woman—most remarkable. I wish I knew the Lest way to win her heart Oh, I wish— (Angeline jumps into the room grasps the professor and dances him around the room.) ANGELINE: Oh! Professor Docdley, Oodley—the most wonderful thing has happened! You can't imagine! It’s almost too good to be true! Why don’t you look interested? Sit down and I'll tell you all about it. (Half shoves the Professor into a chair and seats herself on a stool by his feet.) PROF. D. (greatly agitated): My dear child, my dear child, allow me to get my breath before you tell me that the lost tribe of Israel has been discovered, the Moriscos have returned to Spain or Capt. Reed has reached Mars. ANGELINE (shrugging her shoulders): Why rone of those begin to compare with this. PROF. D.: Bless my soul, surely the Phoenician— ANGELINE (stamping her foot): Keep still and I’ll tell you all about it. You know the other day, Rosie gave me a pip of an idea when she mentioned that we start a better English movement in school. Well, I wrote a theme on Better English” and used bigger words than Webster ever dreamed of. PROF. D.: Indeed my dear young lady, I always said you were a most remark— ANGELINE: Yes. yes, but that isn't near the best part of it. The Prof, tbot it was peachy, gave me a beamin' grin and politely asked me to read it at the next literary entertainment. I could have kissed the dear old »ird from sheer joy. Now isn't that just rippin' news Professor? An don't you 'spose the family will be tickled? An’ don’t you think Rosie is the darl-ingest sister? ' PROF. D.: Yes she is a most remarkable woman, most remarkable. I think she greatly favors your Aunt Priscilla, don't you my dear? ANGELINE (disgustedly): No. I don’t! She’s a whole lot nicer than any old Rollister or Patterscn that ever lived, so there! Why. she’s always helpin' a fella out when he gits in a tight place. Say, you know I wish T could help somebody out or.ee in a while. (Places her head in her hands with a mournful little sigh.) PROF. D. Graying a hand on Angeline’s shoulder) (aside): Ah! surely this is my opportunity. (To Angeline with a deep sigh.) Child, there is a great problem on my mind and I wish to discuss it with you. But—first—this Is just OUR little secret and you must promise never to tell.

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24 Paxton High School Reflector (Katie is carrying a large dipper of water in one hand and a dictionary ir. the other. She offers the water to Aunt Priscilla.) MRS. R. (excitedly): Why how did it happen? PROP. D.: Oh—er—Oh—er Ahem! Ahem! (Rosie whispers some- thing to Angeline and smiles.) KATIE: Faith an' wasn't it meself that was telling yez that Anglish- man had more than one bird in the bush when lie bring around pretlndin' to help Miss Rosie with that pace fer her father's paper? (Aunt Priscilla gradually revives and takes the Professor's hand (Enter Mr. R. and Jack.) MR. R.: Why, what's all the confusion about? JACK: Same as I say? ANGELINE (winking wickedly): He popped it and it worked! MR. R.: Such a surprise, why—Professor I tliot you never under- stood— JACK: Ah. be a sport Dad, you know we never know what we're going to do next. PROF. 1).: Quite so. quite so. ROSIE: Do tell me Jackie what kind of luck you had. JACK: Excellent! I got the position with Burdinson and etc., alright. ROSIE: Oh. I’m so glad you always wanted it, didn’t you? MR. R. (patting his shoulder): I always thought you’d make good. son. ANGELINE: Hurrah for you kid! But how did you do it? I thought you had to be an A No. 1 before that old bear would consider at all. JACK (putting an arm around Rosie): Well, 1 took tile advice of my little Sis. speeled off my best English, melted his icy heart and got the job. Why, he said he believed I was the only kid in a hundred who knew that there was such a thing as an English language and that Webster wasn't a myth. MRS. R.: Seems that following Rosie’s advice always brings us out successfully. Here 1 am president of the M. A. C. club, and Jack has his position—an’ Angeline—why what was yours dear? ANGELINE: Oh, mine's a secret yet. KATIE: Yi , an thanks to this blissed lamb learning or I mean taeh- ing me ivery noight. I've been able to write the first love letter to mine Patrick. (Holds up a large bright colored envelope.) PROF. I).: Though MY success may not have dealt with our most re- nowned Anglo-Saxon language, still I feel that it is ever, more marvelous that I have won the heart of so remarkable a woman. (Smiles and turns toward .Aunt Priscilla.) MR. R.: But the best surprise of all is yet to come. (Draws a maga- zine from his pocket and hands it to Rosie.) (All eagerly gaze at it.) ROSIE (opening the magazine and noticing her article): Oh, but I don't understand. I wrote this for your paper. Daddy, for I so wanted to boost the Advance (looks at the magazine) why, this is Dick's paper. (Drops the magazine with' a sigh.) Oh, what made you do it father?—but of course you didn’t know . MRS. R.: Why. what is it pet? We all tliot you'd be so pleased and you have plenty of time to write for the old Advance and this article was so well written we thought we’d surprise you. (Sound of motor is heard outside. Everyone turns toward door and Ros:e picks up the magazine and makes her escape.) (Enter Dick.) DICK: Hello everybody. What's all the excitement about? ALL: BETTER ENGLISH. DICK: Strange how such a seemingly small subject can cause so much disturbance, that’s just what’s disturbing me, but say, where is she? MRS. R.: Why, she was just here a minute ago. Rosier