Paxton High School - Reflector Yearbook (Paxton, IL)

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20 Paxton High School Reflector Saxon language. The exuberent use of slang is unexcelled by any other country of the t niverse. Why in iny native land, God bless her, such language would be considered indecorous, inelegant, uncouth, unclement, even vulgar. You must remember, my dear young people, that on you rests the responsibility of making your nation the noblest, and les., nor can yon do this without the aid of good English; for you know, as the old saying is, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” (Turning to Rosie.) Po vou r.ot agree with me Miss Rosalind? ROSIE: Indeed, I do, Professor: Their s ang is remarkable. ANGEIdNE: Now Professor Doodley Oodley, you told me once you thought I had temarkahle ideas fer one so yrung. But say, won't you help me write this English theme and give poor little tne a chance to answer this letter that should have gone ages ago? PROF. D. (smiling); Avec plaisir. Madamoiselle Angeline. MR. R.: Well, speaking cf letters, that reminds me, here’s a letter for you Rcs’e, postmarked Tennessee. (Mr. R. hands the letter to Rosie who breaks the seal immediately, while all look up interested.) ROSIE: Oh the perfect dear! What a surprise! How we’ll enjoy having her. ANGELINE: Havin’ who? ’Suprised at what? JACK: Great governor! Spill the beans! ROSIE (holding the letter close): Net until you ask me in the proper way. JACK: Ah. my fair sister, allow me to know the contents of your epistle. ROSIE: Well, it’s from Aunt Priscilla Patterson, and she’s coming to visit us. Isn’t that lovely? ANGELINE: Honest? May I read the letter Rcsie? Site's a picnic all in herself. (Jack whistles, kicks his foct in the air.) JACK: Picnic is tight! Say Professor, you wanta make a mash on her. That old bird sur as got the dough. PROF. D. (figgiting about as usual): Tut, tut. John, tut. tut. Bless my soul! what strarge ideas you have. You know, as 1 was just saying, I never understood the— (Mrs. R. enters.) MRS. R.: All home already? Why, howdy do. Professor. Well I must have been gone longer than I figgered I would be. But we certainly had a tine time. As Angeline says, we all brought our “pep” along and I did make quite a talk on “Better English.” It wasn't so hard after I once got started ar’ I jist—just—mentioned a hundred reasons why we ought to talk better. An’ sakes alive! you can’t imagine who's been ’licted president. ROSIE: Not you Mother! MRS. R.: An' why not me? Ain’. I jist as good for president as Sarie Matthews or Amanthis Warren or even that Mrs. Baxter, who thinks she’s a notch bettern’ the rest of us? Still, I can’t say I deserve the credit—Rosie there, first put the idea in my head. MR. R.: You never knew what you can do. Nettie, until you really try. ROSIE: Oh, it makes me so happy Mother to think that my little plan isn't in vain. JACK: Yes. I’m thinkin’ Sis, you’re O. K. after all. KATIE: An it's meself that’s thinkin' you had better be rattling your bones 'ere the dinner gits cold. (Mrs. R. looks bewildered—confronts her husband exclaiming!) MRS. R.: William Jeremiah Rollister! What have you gone an' did? JACK: “Did” is right. Ha! Ha!

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19 Paxton High School Reflector MR. R.: Yes, our furnace is defective. But now, Miss Ka.ie, I want you to meet my daughter, Rosalind. KATIE (promptly extending her hand): Sure it's pla .ed to meet yez, 1 am Miss Rode, and indade it’s meself was thinkin’ ’twouli be great to work in the home of so foine a lady. ROSIE (smiling): 1 know mother will be delighted to have so pleas- ant a maid. Oh! Why, -good evening Professor Dood.e. (Prof. Doodle has been standing the while in .he doorway arrang.rg his tie and brushing imaginary dust from his coat. He now advances gingerly and, with a precise bow, says.) PROF. D.: Ah! Good evening, Miss Rosie. MR. R. (offering the Prof a chair): To be sure, to be sure, I forgot to tell you, Rosie. To celeorate the occasion, l brought the professor home to dinner. ROSIE (murmurs sweetly): So glad to have you. Professor. PROF. D. (addressing Rone aside): A most remarkable woman! my dear Miss Rosalind most remarkable! 1 assure you my attempts to keep her in the hall were futile. But you. Ah. you will pardon me for speaking thus, but you know I never understood the daughters of Eve, especially those of old Erin. KATIE (turning upon him): Sure, an’ it’s mcsalf that never under- stood the sons of Adam, especially those of old An gland, an' indade if it wasn't that I had so many cousins depindin' on me ter a l.v.ng I’d be over there now fightin’ for the blissed country. (Picks up her basket and marches toward the kitchen.) (Prof. Doodle looks both surprised and mot tiffed, swallows, arranges his tie. crosses his feet twice saying): ‘‘Pooh, Pooh, Pooh, Pooh. ENTER JACK (tosses his cap to the ceding exclaiming): Darn it all. I'm fired! ALL: Fired? Jack! JACK: Yes! That old nut down at the office thinks I use entirely too much slang. ROSIE: Oh Jack I always said— JACK: Oh Gee, Sis! den’t begin to lecture. I've had enough of that for one day. Did you ever hear anything so dinged crazy. Thu. oid ga ook's been figerin’ on puttin’ one over on the office bunch for a coon’s age. toddling around the office with the face of a bear. Well, today he gave me the cold stare and seme hot gab. and I grabbed my lid, said, ‘ so long, old top. and beat it. MR. R. (rising and patting his son's shoulder): Well, that’s a shame son. That reminds me, today 1 heard the bunch at the office saying something about English. ROSIE: Why Daddy, don't you know this is better English Year? JACK: Well, what in the deuce is that for? ROSIE: Why. a year in which we should try to improve our English and try to omit the use of so much slang. And Daddy? MR. R.: Yes, dear? ROSIE: I have just thot of a little plan. Why couldn't I write an arti- cle for “The Advance.” MR. R : Great idea, girlie. The old paper needs a little boosting. I'll be glad to have it as scon as it’s written. (Angeline enters.) ANGELINE: Hi, Kid! Lost your job? Well, I'll be dinged! Why didn't you crack the old crank's bean? MR. R.: Children! ! PROF. I).: Most remarkable, most remarkable. The vocabulary of the younger generation is indeed an overdrawn extravaganza of the Anglo-

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Paxton High School Reflector 21 (Angeline looks aghast, turns toward the audience, winks and giggles.) MR. R.: Why—er—er my dear Nettie, 1 thought after so many years of toil you deserved a little rest. I’m sure she'll he satisfactory. PROF. D.: Yes I assure you. Mrs. Rollister, she is a most remarkable womar. most remarkable. ROSIE: Yes, Mother, and that’s not the only pleasant little surprise we h ve for you. MRS. R.: Well, what next? ROSIE: Why, Aunt Priscilla is coming to visit us. Daddy just gave me her lei ter a few minutes ago. MRS. R.: You don't mean it child? ANGELINE: Yes and Jack has— (All turn toward Angeline with warning looks.) ANGELINE (nervously clasps her hands): Why, all I was gointa say was that Jack is nearly starvin’ an' so am 1. Come on shake a foot to the dinin' room. (All rise and follow Angeline . Mr. R. placing an arm about his w'fe.) CURTAIN ACT II SCENE—Same as Act I. TIME—Perhaps two weeks later. (Mrs. Rollister and Aunt Priscilla are seated talking earnestly. Aunt Priscilla is holding a large cat.) MRS. R.: It seems so good to have you with us again.- Priscilla, just like old times. I so wish you could live nearer us. AUNT P.: My deah Sistah! I wouldn't live nawth with you Republi- cans foah anything. The climate sutainlv doesn't agree with me, and as foah James Cox heah. I'm suaii lie’s lost at least foah pounds. MRS. R.: What do you call that cat? AUNT P.: Janie:, Cox. one of the 1 est names I know. You see a friend gave h!m to me just befoali she sailed foah Europe: and as he had nevali iiad ary name befoah. poah deah. I straightway named him aftaii my favorite candidate. Since I’ve had him. he has defeated nine dogs five of them belonging to strong Republican families. MRS. R. (laughing heartily): Well, as the Professor might say, he cer- tainly must be a remarkable cat. (Mr. It. enters.) MR. R.: Nettie, could I have your attention just a minute please? MRS. R.: Certainly dear, what is it? MR. R.: Well, here's that article Rosie wrote for my paper, and it s one of the best I've read on the subject for some time. Too good, in fact, for the old Advance, so I had thought of sending it away. What do you think of the idea? MRS. R.: Of course, the very thing. It will be such a pleasant little surprise. Just where were you intending to send it? MR. R.: Why really. I hadn’t decided. Where would you suggest? MRS. R.: Let me see. Say. why not to Dick Van Replen's paper, The Literary Era”? She's always been friendly with Dick, and besides it might boost his magazine. AUNT P.: That is one of my favor.te magazines. I've taken it moah than twenty yeahs. MR. R.: The very one. I'll take it down immediately. Now don’t let it leak out. remember it’s to be a surprise. (Enter Katie.) KATIE: Professor Sam-u-el T. Doodle is calling. MRS. R.: Show him in immediately. Katie and hereafter please bring the card to me.