Paxton High School - Reflector Yearbook (Paxton, IL)

Page 18 text:

16 Sopliomoie 'Department CONTAINS SOME OF OUR NAMES, SOME OF OUR WIT, SOME OF OUR PICTURES, SOME OF OUR CONFESSIONS, SOME OF OUR CLASS STATISTICS, AND ABOVE ALL, A SAMPLE OF OUR LITERARY GENIUS, IN THE GRIPPING STORY OF “Miss Susanna and Her Courtship’ Sophomore Class Statistics. We, the Sophomore class of this year, are forty-five in number—twenty girls and twenty-five boys. Just the right number for coupling ofT—with just a few over. The average size shoe of the girls Is four and one-half. The smallest being a number two. If all the sophomore girls would stand with one foot before the other, the length of the line would be twenty feet. If one would attempt to shoe the twenty pair of feet of the girls, at twelve dollars a pair, which is the price per pair for those made of shark hide, it would cost him exactly $240.00. (Wheel) Taking it for granted that girls take two pair a year the amount would be $480. One could not wear these shoes at all times and places, so taking in all the shoes needed, there would be added to the last amount just $500, the total amount of cost of shoes being $980. The average size of glove of the girls of the class is five and two-thirds. If the hands of the girls were put down in a straight line the line would measure 220 inches. The girls’ ages vary all the way from fifteen to seventeen. The total age of the girls of this class is three-hundred and ten years. The average age is fifteen years. Of the twenty-five boys there are five blondes, nine mediums, nine brunettes and one with auburn hair. The average weight of the boys is one hundred and thirty-six pounds. The heavy weight weighs one hundred pounds The average size snoe of the boys is size eight. If the boys would stand in a straight line with one foot before the other the line would extend over thirty feet in length. The average age of the boys is fifteen years and six months, three weeks and two days. The average weight of the brain is said to be around three pounds. If this is a fact, then the total number of pounds in the weight of the brains of the whole class will be 135 pounds or more accurately 2160 ounces. (Of course that is saying that none of our brains exceeds the normal weight.) Taking it for granted that every member has attended school for ten years, the total number of years attended will be 450 years, or 121,500 days if one attended school every day, but that is not possible. If 35 students of our class walk six blocks to and from school four times a day, for five days of a week and twenty days of the month for two years, we have been in high school, the total number of miles walked would be 38,240 or once and a half times around the earth. (Can you beat it!)

Page 20 text:

18 She Landed One, or, The Courtship of Miss Susanne. (A novelette by Florence Hodam, T9.) “l and to goodness. Susanne! Why in the world don’t you ever get married?” said Mrs. Kimberl one day. How old be ye anyhow—nigh onto forty year?” “Now, look here Mis’ Kimberl, I says sometimes other folks can ’tend to some one elses’ business better’n their own,” replied Miss Susanne Jane Picterskins. “Pshaw, now, dearie—no 'fence, no 'fence; I was just a—askin’ a simple interrogative: but say, ain’t ye ever a-goin’ to git married?” “Mis' Kimberl. I think I smell your bread a-burnin’, and I also think ye had better be off over home a-tendin’ your four babies an’ leave me alone”, hotly replied the maiden lady. Mrs. Kimberl, being very good-natured. hurried home, leaving Miss Susanne sitting in her shabby parlor meditating. She thought perhaps Mrs. Kimberl was right about the getting married part, but when it came to asking the age of one who only had a birthday every three years, so to speak, she struck a tender spot. Besides, that was her affair and not Mrs. Kimberl’s. She began to think of the men she knew. “Well, there was Beacon Snubbs, but who would want him,” she thought to herself.” He’s bald-headed. uses a cane, has false teeth, and he’s most awful stingy. Then there's the shoe cobbler, but he's not my class. I allays says to go with some one of your own class and have a good provider. Sakes alive! Si Johnson, the hardware keeper, is jist the feller and he’s a good provider, too—but he’s bald-headed. Say, I’m mighty glad he don’t know I haven’t much hair—and these new curls do make me look quite coy. Glory be! If I don’t go down an’ see him!” So saying, she began to array herself in her finery and curls in preparation for her ‘debut.’ Within an hour, she again swept into the small parlor and began to promnade before the old, cracked mirror. How she threw back her curls and lifted her pink skirt so daintily and flirted with her fan! “Now”, she said to herself. “I’m all ready and I think I look pretty nice, and I’ll break old Si’s heart right smack in two when I look shy at him out of my eyes. I’ll get my mitts an’ I’ll be ready.” In less than ten minutes she neared the small stuffy hardware store where Si Johnson held his reign. SI was near the front gazing absently out the window, when Miss Susanne came up the street. There he is. the dear old fellow!” she exclaimed delightedly to herself. ‘T just knowed he’d be a-lookin’ for me. He sure does look lonesome, ’twont be for long though, ’twont be for long.” Upon entering the sitore, she went directly to him saying: Why, my dear Mr. Johnson, how glad I am to see ye. Ye look quite young an’— “Howdy”, said Si. As I was a-sayin’ afore”, went on Miss Susanne. “I says, says I, I says to my friend Mis’ Kimberl, ‘Now’ jist take Si Johnson fer instance. He’s a model man, he’s a heap nicer than other men and he goes to church ev—er—y Sunday, an’ he’s not one bit of a bit stingy’ ” “Do the best I can,” shortly replied Si. busying himself with some work. “Well, now. I know ye do and so does I,—an’ I gits a long purty fair: but I git fearful lonesome a’livin’ by myself, don’t ye?” she asked very anxiously. “No, ma’am, I don’t. Me an’ my dog. we git along alright”, he grouch-ingly replied.