Paxton High School - Reflector Yearbook (Paxton, IL)

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!HI'. PAXTON HIGH SCHOOL REFLECTOR na are’s noblemen. —Maud—The minister says there i 5 no marrying in heaven. Mabel—Of course not. There wouldn’t be enough men to go around. Women’s faults are many. Men have only two— Everything they say And everything they do. A watch may have no gender, But you really can’t efface The fact that, nearly always, There’s a woman in the case. A pair in a hammock Attempted to kiss. And in less than a jiffy •sjqi papuBi .fam Don’t trouble yourself to stretch your mouth any wider, said the den- tist. I Intend to stand on the outside to draw the tooth. you don’t know who I am. I’m the president of this road. My face is my ticket. Conductor—Very well, sir, I’m ord- ered to punch all tickets. A newly captured horse thief Dangling from a lofty tree; In a whisper hoarse, he muttered “This suspense is killing me.” Teacher—Tommy, tell me the name of the tropical belt north of the equa- tor. Tommy: Can’t sir. Teacher—That’s right. Faith, said the Irish policeman, ex- amining a broken window, “This is more sayrious thin Oi thought it was! It’s broke on both sides.’’ Teacher—What tense do I use when i say, “I am beautiful.” Pupil—Remote past. Ha, I will fool the bloodhounds yet, cried the fugitive hoarsely, and slip- ping on a pair of rubbers, h£ erased his tracks. Bessie—He was very impudent. He put his arm around me twice. Jessie—Why! what a long arm he must have! Farmer Hayseed (in city reading sign)—“Cast iron sinks.” Any fool knows that. Friend—Your son played on the foot ball team at college. Fond Mamma—Yes. Friend—Quarterback ? Fond Mamma—Oh, yes;, hes’ nearly all back. You see he only lost an ear and a thumb. Passenger—(starting up): Perhaps “What would you say,” began a vol- uble prophet of now, “If I were to tell you that in a very short space of time all the rivers in the country would dry up? I should say: “Go thou and do likewise.” Latin Puns Dean Swift used to amuse himself by making Latin puns, as well as in manufacturing “sunlight out of cu- cumbers.” Here are a few of them which the English student can easily translate by making some allowance for false spelling, pronunciation and syllabication: Mollis abuti. Has an acuti. No lasso finis, Molli divinis. Omi de armis tres Imi na dis tres. Cantu disco ver Meas alo ver

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THE PAXTON HIGH SCHOOL REFLECTOR 16 EXCHANGE NOTES AND COM- MENTS The first number of the Lincoln Bema was received just before Xmas. It was a very interesting number and we welcome it upon our exchange list again this year. The December number of Aegis (Bloomington, 111.) contains a num- ber of goods jokes. Many of our exchanges contain notes regarding basket ball. The Seminary Breeze writes up several in- teresting accounts of their games. The Nautilus sen' a book contain- ing their yells which they use at bas- ket ball games. They were new and very good. We congratulate the Washington High School on their school spirit. The Xmas i-sue of the Rayen Rec- ord is a very in'eresting number. It con ains several good poems, some- thing that is lacking in most papers. The High School Idea, published at Vaiden, Miss., is one of our new ex- changes. It is a neat paper but we would suggest that it be improved by adding Exchange Notes. SELECTED FROM OUR EXCHANGES Did you ever kiss a girl in a quiet spot? asked the inquiring Freshie of a Sophomore. Yes. replied the Sophomore, but it was quiet only when I was kissing her. • Overhearing his father ask the post- master what was the cause of the bad odor inside of the office, Johnny ex- claims, I know papa.” “What is it my son,” says the indul- gent father. “Why i s the dead letters of course ’ Haw! Haw! Well now, Pat, said the judge to an old offender, What brought you here again? Two policemen, sor, was the laconic reply. Drunk. I suppose, queried the judge. Yes sor. said Pat, both of them. Junior—One who knows it all and tries to teach the family. Sophomore—A wise person: one of

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PAT QUOTATIONS To be grave exceeded all power of her face.—Helen Nelson, I ois Ricn- ards. A quiet, good, thoughtful, sincere lad.—Kenneth Hathaway. Tongue nor heart can conceive or name them.—Exams. Her very look is full of smiles.— Ruby Shelby. The poor have ye always with you. —The Foot Ball Team. Nothing like being popular with the ladies.—Raymond Kirkpatrick. Lowly and meek, patiently suffering all things.—Sophomore Girls. Of all the men who ever lived. I’d do the proper thing.—V. E. D. He’s lictle, but Oh my! its enough. - -Earl Carlson. Perhaps I am no student, but I make a hit with the girls.—Verne Healy. Please go ’way and let me sleep.— William Flora. Did you ever notice how curly her eyelashes are?—Howard McCracken. A perfect type of verdant, efflores- cent, effervescent freshy.—Theo. Lund- gren. Truth is mighty—mighty scarce.— Frank Horner. Her work—roller-skating, her pas- time, studying.—Too numerous to mention. I was just fooling.—Ted. Apt in His Latin. A member of the Caesar class was recently detained at home by illness. A Freshman friend called upon him and sympathetically said, Sick, eh?’’ Yes’’, replied the Latin student, Sic sum.” A little Freshman has a dog by the name of Caesar. We Sophomores say. Kill the deg, or change his name!” When this Freshman reaches the dig- nity of a Sophomore, and becomes ac- quainted with the works of the noble Roman whose name the dog bears, he will realize that we are just in mak- ing this demand.