Parsons College - Peira Yearbook (Fairfield, IA)

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DID YOU EVER DREAM-M That you would get an A under Professor Silver? That Bill Krapfel would ever get a move on? That the book store was open when you wanted something? That Miss Smiley's exams would be short? That the gym was going up next year? That it was easy to get out a Junior Annual? That you would see Moyer and not hear his voice? That Prof. Wirtz gave you a kind look? That Ellis Welch forgot How it happened in Bedford? That Allie Mitchell ceased to tell about Last year at Tabor? That the Librarian smiled at a Prep? That it was healthy 'to cut chapel? That you could enjoy a quiet talk with your inamorata and not get ubawled out?' That Miss Pattison would ever fail to illustrate with a story about Tarkio? Wl1al's the use of dreaming? A BRILLIANT Guess. Miss Smiley is trying to discover whether her Tennyson class is in possession of the information that they have been reading about the nightingale under a classical name. ln the expression, 'The song of the bulbul,' what is meant by the 'bulbul?' she questions, encouragingly. ' The chill of abashed ignorance sweeps over the class and she is aibout to administer the deserved reprimand when she sees the glint of a dawning idea in a pair of blue eyes. Miss Foster, what is a 'bulbul?' A bulbulf' answers Miss Foster, wi'th the manner of one walking over a slippery pavement, Why a bulbul is a bull-frog. 85

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CONSOLATION. There, little Freshie, don't cry, They have guyed you so much, I know, They have hazed you, too, Till you're black and blue, But it's all of the long ago. Just wait, your turn will soon come by, There, little Freshie, don't cry. There, little Soph, don't cry. Your pride had a fall, I knowg Your small head swelled Until folks rebelled, But never mind, let it go. Your Junior year will soon come by, There, little Soph, don't cry. There, little Junior, don't cry, You think you're in love, I knowg You gaze at the moon Like a fried-eyed loon When you stroll by the classic Crow. But Senior dignities soon come by, There, little Junior, don't cry. There, noble Senior, don't cry, 'Tis hard to be great, I know: The cap and gown Bring too much renown And you wish for the long ago. But the great wide world will soon come by There, noble Senior, don't cry. There, poor old Grad, don't cry, It's up to you now, I know: The world is cold And wise and old, And it's hard to make things go. But you'll succeed if you only try, There. poor old Grad, don't cry. 84

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Un ' Department ...L 1 1 , . H! I f' D f zei Etlquette. -I 7 ' f r 1.71 I f ..-i rf 3 il 1 A' in 7 if P 1, , 1 1 H If Q00 'vi' l f ' il o .'-'ill l t? I x li I i I l f I K .' 1 L of e 'ij ! :' Y x . 4' fEdiled by fcrome K. Smith., Questions on fine points of college politics answered. Punk: ls there any way in which I can improve my carriage? Answer: What you have is not a carriage, but an ice wagon. G. Leggett: ls it proper to throw chalk in the Library? Answer: No, throw books or chairs. lVlcGrew: When is the best time to make dates? Answer: When least liable to be turned down. Burton: When a young lady makes a leap-year call, should you press her to remain? Answer: Ask Bruce Findlay. I-le has had unlimited experience along that line. - A Freshman: I am trying to get through college as comfortably as possible. Will you please put me next to a few little guide posts on the path of peace! Answer: Dont :be too quiet in the library or you will be called down. When you meet a Sophomore remove your hat and apologize for living. Keep off the grass. Don't fuss another fellow's girl if he isibigger than you are. Blanche: How shall I comb my hair? Answer: Don't bother to comb it. The artistically careless fashion you have adopted heretofore is quite fetching. ' Sandy: Tell me some real cute and original ways in which a crowd of four could have their pictures taken. Answer: After investigating your previous poses I find it impossible to contort the human body and household furniture into a new combination. Myrtle: Can you give me some suggestions for my spring wardrobe? Answer: Brown veils borrowed from the faculty ladies are fashionable for the head. There will be new styles in shirt waists which cannot be borrowed from your room-mate. An Outsider: What is the use of a college yell? Answer: Its uses are varied. According to James' theory of emotions, it fos- ters college spirit. At night it indicates the location of a good time. At a track meet or ball game it serves as a safety-valve for pent-up enthusiasm. 86