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Page 11 text:
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A four year mission to expiore ference was that theirs were scientific. Those who wanted a major with solid ideas (vapors too) chose chemistry. Un¬ like humans, elements are at least sta¬ ble (not to be confused with the equine program, which is also stable ). Electrons, protons, and neutrons don ' t go crazy, but they can sure make you crazy. Dr. P. always said, You can tell where an electron is, but you can ' t tell what it is doing, or you can tell what it is doing, but you can ' t tell where it is. That kind of sounds like the theatre majors. You could never tell if they had stopped acting or just started. It must be wonderful to wake up and decide who you are going to be for the day. Like a wardrobe of characters instead of clothes. But those guys were great. They could even imitate a shy tuna. The Guy Smileys on campus, with the glaring sets of teeth, were the po¬ litical science majors. To prepare them¬ selves for future campaigns, they took courses in handshaking and baby kiss¬ ing. Can you imagine those clowns run¬ ning the country some day? HELP! The rugged types in the tall boots were the equine students. It sure was a wonder how they ever stuck with their program after all the crap those horses gave them. OPENING 7
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Page 12 text:
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Through working, performing, Well, so much for majors. It seems they ' re just like death, taxes, and Barbara Finke. You can ' t seem to avoid them. One part of exploring a new frontier is the possibility of meeting strange new life forms. Aliens, weirdos, pigs, puds, blutos and New Yorkers. Call them what you wish, but they were all part of Park College. There were people from foreign countries, the east coast, the west coast, and even St. Louis. What a combination! Does it rain all day in Oregon? Where in the hell is Micro¬ nesia? Do people from California do more than just lie in the sun and snort cocaine? Do RLDS people really practice what they preach? One year at Park answered everything you always wanted to know about people but were afraid to ask. One thing. 4;r ' - J..,. • % • . . • . ■ • •
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