Park Ridge High School - Hoot Yearbook (Park Ridge, NJ)

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fflljlfs THE .HQQT 11 EVM, 29 posing before the camera as Charlie Chaplain's younger brother. His feet too are insured at so much per yard. I see now an office- yes -in Chicago. On the glass door is written Private Office. George Granger, Jr. Owner of Granger Car Factories. Within, the owner himself is reading, in spare moments news of his home town. He holds in his hands The Park Ridge Local edited by his cousin and classmate Anna Ritter. With much satisfaction he gazes upon the last page. It is a full page advertisement of Granger Cars Sz Grangerine. The latter is a fluid costing only fifty cents per gallon: one half cent cheaper than gas- oline. It is guaranteed to run all cars even 1902 Model Maxwells whose machinery is ex- ternallylocated. The advertisement, however, plainly states that the Ford's alone are excepted for it says furtherthat Mr. Granger's personal experience has convinced him that nothing can be guaranteed to run them. The office has vanished. Again I cross the ocean. Now I am gazing upon a village in Scotland made famous by Tonner Airedale Kennels. I see the dogs having their teeth inspected and attended to by the kennel dentist, Miss Marie Dexter. She is the first to make a success of canine dentistry. The Scottish village gives place to a scene in Manilla, Philippine Islands. There I see the noted settlement worker Miss Mary Miller inspecting new fields. There also I see the Hon. Douglas McCully, Governor General of the Philippine Islands. The words ceasej. With a start Cassandra sat up in the seat. With a start I sat up also. Bath canlles became lighted simultaneously. Then, noiselessly as if still in a trance the somniloquist stepped down from her throne and ghostlike approached me. She held towards me an open book which I easily recognized as a well worn copy of Virgil's Aeneij. With .1 long tapering finger she pointed out a portion of a passage. By the dim light I readily translated it as follows: Future fate by Cassandra now revealed By heavenly order 'til later unbelieved. Then by some mysterious agency Cassandra vanished, first into the shadows and then fioating backwards into space. Suddenly the room became flooded with light. A door opened from nowhere and I was ushered out. Although Ihad heard the words of the somniloquist I still wondered what the future held for our Class of 1917.

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28 ,flgzjm ras .HCBQT W lgfxjsl, Again the scene changes. On the porch of an immense house in the city of Oradell, I see a small attractive woman seated in a swinging couch. She is delivering to one Beatrice Stumpf Smith, a curly haired little girl five years of age, a lecture for the petty offense of continually saying 'at's peachy. Now again I see this woman, before her marriage, however, spending six years in glorious restitutional workin Belgium, called from America by special summons after the termination of the World War. I am now, it seems, in a flourishing Jersey Italian town, Emersonia. On one large building in the business district I read 'Bello, Bello, and Sons, Manufacturers of Men's Foot and Neck Wear.' The senior member of this firm Joseph A. Bello also is, in avo- cational capacity, however, 'The Official Looking-glass Tester' for a New York Mirror Co. All is darkness. I hear the drizzle of rain. Before me there looms a large school building. It is called the New Jersey Model High School, formerly Park Ridge High School. Within I see in progress the meeting of a literary society. The entertainer of the evening is the world renowned elocutionist, Miss Desmond, Whom despite the inclem- ency of the weather I see coming from Washington D. C. for this special purpose. Ac- companying her is her classmate Marian Van Wagoner who fills the position of social sec- retary to the president's wife. The entertainment over, I see the domestic science teacher serving refreshments. She is a charming widow, and is called Mrs. Van Scott. Now the principal, Miss O'Brien is conducting the guests through her school. She is indeed proud of it. I hear her explaining that the building was designed by the noted architect, Merrell Maybeck. The interior decorating, 1 believe she attributes to another classmate, Sylvia Dawson. They are now passing through the library. The principal, I see producing from the shelves a recent, and as she calls it valuable addition to social life. The book is en- titled 'Key to Etiquette' written by Irene M. Bromilow. Miss O'Brien is now pointing out another contribution to the school. This time it is a bottle of medicine called 'Anti- giggler' patented by Matilda Schriever. The bottle and directions for use occupy an honored position in a display case high above the reach of meddling Freshmen. The school principal and visitors have disappeared. I hear two women, presumedly gossips, discussing a certain Miss Teller, owner of the Anti-toxine farms at Nanuet, N.Y. It seems, she does nothing but enjoy herself, leaving her entire business in charge of the manager, Miss Phillips. Once a month, however, she visits her farms and for some un- known QTJ reason takes pleasure in testing new stenographers with such words as anti- meningococcis, pneumacoccus, polyomelitis, and the like. Mike O - - - O - - - Oh, Yes, Michael La Morte. I see him the owner of a prosperous taxicab service noted for promptness and quick action. I see no? yes, three large golden balls. This gentleman, it seems, always possessed natural brokerage instincts. In the back ground there is a iieeting dream of Wall Street. Again I see this same man now

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30 ,,eflEjF9 'ru-is taser ff IEVM, Qllass will E, THE MEMBERS OF THE CLASS OF 1917 of the Park Ridge High School of the County of Bergen of the State of New Jersey, being mindful of the uncer- tain vicissitudes of life in war time and of the manifold dangers of existence in this insti- tution of learning, being of sound mind and a sweet and generous disposition, possessing a keen sense of humor and appreciation for the ridiculous, and realizing the exceedingly needy condition of our heirs, particularly the members of the Junior Class whose frequent and vexatious candy sales indicate a lack of funds, do make, publish and declare this our last Will and Testament, and do solemnly aver that it shall be our only attempt to exe- cute so laborious a task. We desire to make a last wish---that we be laid to rest in some unobtrusive spot in the vicinity of the City of Emerson. Furthermore, we assert a prefer- ence for dandelions, to our minds the simplest, most inexpensive and most beautiful flowers obtainable, and we suggest that Robert Miller be requested to solicit contributions. for the necessary trifling expense. Uhr girls nf the rlaaa uf 1917 hu hvrrhg. giur, bruise, ann lmiurath tu ihv lumm' :lass girls uariuus aah mmhrg artirlra tn mit: FIRST. To the girls of '18 we do bequeath our most treasured heirloom, our mirror, which has served the Seniors faithfully for three long years. Although, from experience, we realize the difficulty of the task, we nevertheless urge that you make a tremenious effort to use it often lest it become tarnished. SECOND. Upon various privileged characters we bestow the honor of taking charge of the landing. Be sure to cherish the life and health of the rubber plant, by careful daily attention, as your elders before you have done. THIRD. To the girls of '18, we bequeath the pleasure of searching wildly on rainy days for one's own special pair of rubbers hidden in dark precincts of the crowded cloak- room. No matter how exasperating the situation, we trust that you will always main tain your usual happy and contented frame of mind. FOURTH. To the girls of the following classes, we do bequeath our priceless Pete who resides in the top, right hand drawer of the desk in Room 2. May you, too, find him a very present help in time of trouble. FIFTH. Elsie Oppermann leaves to any hapless victim who may join the Physics class, her well developed faculty for asking and answering puzzling questions. She advises him, however, not to monopolize more than thirty-five of the forty minutes of torture. SIXTH. Evelyn Desmond leaves to some budding mathematicion, sweet memories of Trig and any other little thing, no matter how trifling. SEVENTH. Mary Miller leaves her extensive powers of flirtation to Florence McDaniels. Perhaps with this assistance, Florence may in time conquer her overwhelming shyness.