Park Ridge High School - Hoot Yearbook (Park Ridge, NJ)

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,fipirferss rsioswrwusifk, 27 The scene is changing. In Berlin, Germany, I see a group of three persons dining. Their names, as I get them, are Christina Weitkamp, Elsie Wiesner, and Dorothea Schmeh. They speak of successful business careers. Several years have passed. Again I see this group, now, however, with the addition of three men, their respective husbands. The chief topic of their conversation is the most wonderful operation of the age. It is an operation for retarding growth performed by a world renowned surgeon, Dr. Beensen with the assistance of the famous trained nurse Miss Murray. The group remark further that the latter is to the surgeon an invaluable aid especially in intercourse with foreigners. ln this way she has merited the title of la kleine Senorita Murre, the connoiseur of lang- uages. Am? Yes, I believe I am in the city of New York. There appears before me a woman at work in her den. Upon the desk at which she sits lies an open newspaper from which I read 'Advice to the Love-lorn' edited by Marion Briscoe. The editor herself is peru ing a letter over which she smiles. The writer wishes to be advised whether she should give up a good business position for married life. From the tone of the letter there seem to be no doubt as to the sincerity of her love. No name is mentioned but ...... the letter is signed Ruth Jersey. Iam still in New York City. From the top of one of the famous Woolworth Build- ings, a man is conclesceniingly delivering a mast eloquentanii ornate speech upon labor conditions. His listeners area crowd of persons in the streets below. I can hear men in the crowd call him Professor F. Kra.issl, President of the Industrial Workers of the World. They say he was given this position of leadership because of extraordinary speechmaking propensities. This scene is becoming blurred. In it's place I see a billboard announcing the debut of a charming and wonderful ice ballet star. She is advertised as Helene Edna but I, how- ever, see the name complete Helene Edna Meyer. You have in mind now acertain classmate called Dorothy Haubner. There is revealed to me a prosperous Kentucky to .avn named Stormesville. I see a quiet scene in the home of the most prominent and influential citizen. The former Miss Haubner is seated at one side of an open tire-place and on the other side is a short, portly gentleman. In the door- way there appears an ideal Kentucky mammy. Her mouth shapes a word of two syllables. Now all is dark. I see nothing but I hear a noise. Yes, decidedly it is a giggle. Ah! the darkness is dissolved and there lies stretched before me a large summmer camp in the Ramapo Mountains, New York. Seated Indian fashion on the ground arf: a number of Camp Fire Girls in the midst of whom stands their giggling guardian, Miss Bloch.

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26 ffljflrfe THE: ,lii'lCJCCl'lT lE1ll'N-X Qllans Mruphrrg Y first sensation upon being ushered into the presence of the somniloquist, was a distinct desire to be elsewhere. The Twentieth Century Cassandra, as the famous one chose to call herself, was enthroned upon a stately, elevated seat. White robes, not unlike those in which the prophet Hosea is usually pictured, enveloped her and imparted to the room a mysterious and supernatural atmosphere. Two tall, shaded candles one on either side of the lofty throne, loomed up. Scarcely had I taken more than three steps into the room, when the somniloquist quivered, started to rise, and then sank back again into the depths of her seat. One candle sputtered and went out, the second did likewise. My legs gave way Qfrom instinct of courseb and much to my surprise I found myself in a not uncomfortable seat. I was listening intently for I know not What, When Cassandra, as I shall call her, sighed several times and then spoke: saying, I You come to learn the destinies of your classmates of nineteen hundred and seven- teen. Think of them and so shall I. As suddenly as she had begun the somniloquist stopped speaking. It was very easy to say think , but under the circumstances, I found it rather difficult. My first refiect- ions were upon my dilemma. Now that the train of thought was started I remembered, appropriately, of several other pickles : these, however, bright green candy ones brought to Latin class, as I recalled it, by ---- At this point in my meditations, Cassandra again spoke. Ah! she said, In the dis- tance there gleams a dim light. It comes closer. I see it is the searchlight of a large modern ocean vessel whose bow is inscribed with the name 'The Hulbertia'. On the top deck stands the captain, a woman. An inferior oflicer now approaches and speaks. 'Your orders, Captain Beck?' Yes, yes, the name is Beck. Here Cassandra paused and so delighted was I with my accidental experiment with pickles that I decided to think unrestrainedly. This good resolve was still in the making, when the somniloquist again moved her lips in speech. Her words came slowly and Waveringly, as if she were groping far into the future. She continued, I am traveling now over a continent, now over the ocean. Ah! Before me I perceive the beautiful gardens of the Emperor of Japan. On one lawn there is in progress a game of football between the royal princes. Umpire of the game is a tall, well-built gentleman clothed in the most fashionable of American flannels. The Mikado and other high officials ad- dress him simply as Nootche. He is known the world over as the president of the In- ternational Football League. The Japanese government, however, take the liberty of calling him the august Mr. Neubergg but to the Princes of Japan he is the Coach of the Honorable Game Football.

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28 ,flgzjm ras .HCBQT W lgfxjsl, Again the scene changes. On the porch of an immense house in the city of Oradell, I see a small attractive woman seated in a swinging couch. She is delivering to one Beatrice Stumpf Smith, a curly haired little girl five years of age, a lecture for the petty offense of continually saying 'at's peachy. Now again I see this woman, before her marriage, however, spending six years in glorious restitutional workin Belgium, called from America by special summons after the termination of the World War. I am now, it seems, in a flourishing Jersey Italian town, Emersonia. On one large building in the business district I read 'Bello, Bello, and Sons, Manufacturers of Men's Foot and Neck Wear.' The senior member of this firm Joseph A. Bello also is, in avo- cational capacity, however, 'The Official Looking-glass Tester' for a New York Mirror Co. All is darkness. I hear the drizzle of rain. Before me there looms a large school building. It is called the New Jersey Model High School, formerly Park Ridge High School. Within I see in progress the meeting of a literary society. The entertainer of the evening is the world renowned elocutionist, Miss Desmond, Whom despite the inclem- ency of the weather I see coming from Washington D. C. for this special purpose. Ac- companying her is her classmate Marian Van Wagoner who fills the position of social sec- retary to the president's wife. The entertainment over, I see the domestic science teacher serving refreshments. She is a charming widow, and is called Mrs. Van Scott. Now the principal, Miss O'Brien is conducting the guests through her school. She is indeed proud of it. I hear her explaining that the building was designed by the noted architect, Merrell Maybeck. The interior decorating, 1 believe she attributes to another classmate, Sylvia Dawson. They are now passing through the library. The principal, I see producing from the shelves a recent, and as she calls it valuable addition to social life. The book is en- titled 'Key to Etiquette' written by Irene M. Bromilow. Miss O'Brien is now pointing out another contribution to the school. This time it is a bottle of medicine called 'Anti- giggler' patented by Matilda Schriever. The bottle and directions for use occupy an honored position in a display case high above the reach of meddling Freshmen. The school principal and visitors have disappeared. I hear two women, presumedly gossips, discussing a certain Miss Teller, owner of the Anti-toxine farms at Nanuet, N.Y. It seems, she does nothing but enjoy herself, leaving her entire business in charge of the manager, Miss Phillips. Once a month, however, she visits her farms and for some un- known QTJ reason takes pleasure in testing new stenographers with such words as anti- meningococcis, pneumacoccus, polyomelitis, and the like. Mike O - - - O - - - Oh, Yes, Michael La Morte. I see him the owner of a prosperous taxicab service noted for promptness and quick action. I see no? yes, three large golden balls. This gentleman, it seems, always possessed natural brokerage instincts. In the back ground there is a iieeting dream of Wall Street. Again I see this same man now