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Page 33 text:
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iTy working on a painless method for extracting teeth. The experiment was being tried on Mary Walton, who was acting assistant (and exercising her tonsils to full ex- tent). As Mary has a limited number of teeth, they will soon be in need of a new assistant. We also ran across Arthur Crouch who told us he was in the Semi-pro baseball ■I ?JU l JL, ' LrrJUYrrr •• ague making a big hit ' ■ Mmfn PlITl ! 11 1 11 ' ' Shirley Nichols who has been busy lately cutting down old Marine Uniforms » « to fit the little Whites. T ' TX • - Remember Lloyd Clager? 1 - Well, I know for a fact that ' li he is climbing the ladder of success in the railroad business. At least every time I see him he ' s riding atop a box car. Cal Vittum and Don Bicknell, the boys who just love surgery, have now attained their ambitions. They are constant cut-ups as head butchers at Polasky ' s Market. George King is a professor of Mathematics in UCLA. He is making an improvement on the mechanical brain. In- cidently, he is also up for president of the Mathemati- cians ' Union. Gloria Miller, through her diligence, has become president of the Cultured Cat Food Company, Inc. She is also raising pigeons as a hobby. In a few of the other Western States we ran into quite a few of our old classmates. Robert Berryman has become a preacher in Oregon. He raises bees as a hobby. We were inspecting his bees when we made the startling discovery we had come upon a hornet ' s nest instead of a bee hive. We quickly continued our journey. Wally Hamrick was seen peering from behind bare at Alcatraz where he awaited execution for the perfect shot. It seems the authorities misunderstood the report and convicted Wally for murder. The truth of the matter is, Wally had rung a basket at 50 yards while playing baske ' ball for the Home Sweet Homicides. Jean Muller has finally come to the eye of the pub- lic by taking the wooden Indian ' s place in front of the cigar store while the former is being repaired. During her lunch hour she models her latest invention, Mulefiends ' ?iIuscle-Binders, the girdle with the four- way stretch. In Texas we met Henry Camarot, who has become a world famous lawyer and is handling a difficult case . . . Jim Winchester, who is a big man in the cattle business, has been bothered by rustlers. They have the leader, Earl Brailmont, but he won ' t confess. The case goes on trial next week. In other parts of the United States, we ran across sev- eral more of our classmates. Yvonne Eaton has become America ' s number one CPA, She and her violinist hus- band live on a farm not far from Alice Tyson and her small family of twelve (who are all quite chubby little rascals.) Mary-Jo HartweH, now commonly known as swivel- hips , vas overheard at Beebe ' s Beer Hall the other night exclaiming, Buy me some more champagne, pal! Crystal Belle Livengood and Jeanninc Converse have jobs teaching in a private elementary school. They are now waiting for their retirements to come through. We heard from a trustworthy source that Julie Cart- w right is following her husband (who is in the navy) around the world in an eight foot schooner. Martha Anne Dunn is attending F. S. U. where she is majoring in golf. (She has already majored in all the other subjects). She plans to graduate in June. Next we went abroad to see what advances other classmates had made. While on board ship we happened to meet several classmates. Pat McCormick was with a group on a good will tour. She had just secured her second di- vorce and was getting away from it all. .Millionaires John Hucks and Roy Ligon were on vacation making a tour of the world.. Our first stop was England. We attended an open forum where John Seawell, well-known author, Allen Ewing, famous commentator, and Sidney Grovenstein, lecturer, were the main speakers. Walking down the main street of London, we met Lou- ise McLester and Vivian Duncan and their husbands . They were on a chain of missions tour and had just returned from Africa. While roaming through the forests of old England, we were surprised to see Bill Wood in his Lincoln green Forester ' s Uniform out on a limb frantically calling for help while Betty Vardaman, with that I hate myself when I do these things look in her eyes, chopped vigorously. Upon leaving England, we went to Germany and arrived just in time for a world shaking event. The great scientist Arthur Schiff was testing his latest discovery ... a jet rocket to the moon. Our greatest surprise came when we learned that Hugh Tyndall was to be the Test pilot. Having the utmct faith in our classmates, bat hating to see disaster strike, we hurriedly left for France. In France our first stop was Paris where we attended a fashion show given by none other than the famous fashion designer, E s t e 1 1 e Brown, who was modeling her own fashions. I bet that Monte Robertson, who always kidded us about being a professional gambler, never dreamed that he ' d be clean- ing up in business in Europe. He ' s the janitor at the Monte Carlo. Craving the atmosphere of the tropics and hoping to encounter a few more fellow classmates, we left Europe, and sailing into the harbor of Tahiti, we were astonished to see a boy we had voted most likely to succeed, Jame.; McMillan, diving for pennies thrown from the boat by tourists. Between gurgles, he informed us that Bob Cran- dall and Nelson Wilder could be found on the beach searching for an answer to the Polish question. Back to back under a palm tree at Tahiti were seen Nature Boy Capp, ambitiously polishing his mother-of- pearl oysters with which he plans to make his Wal ' Street millions and Legs Footer posing for Longies hosiery ads. Well exhausted, we set- tled hack to enjoy the com- fortable trip now secure and serene in the fact that all our classmates were success- ful in their chosen tasks. Oh yes, Elmer Kreiser just made the bi-iefest speech of his life. He just said I do and is determined to show the w r Id he can be h a p p y though married.
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Page 32 text:
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SOPHOMORE CLASS prophecy ' -f POSSESSING a superior intelligence, due to the facts beyond control, yours truly, Lu Hollis and assistants embarked upon a world wide tour in the year 1970, to locate and report on activities concerning the greatest class of them all — the PBJC Class of ' 49. Stopping at Atlantic City to watch the Miss Amer- ica contest, we found Norma Ives and Teddy Waggener trying to outshine each other in the new metallic bathing suits (aluminum, no less), while Jerry Thomas and Ed- die King, with their eyes in the usual position, acted as the All American Judges. We left the glitter of Atlan ' .ic City and visited one of the better known New- York night clubs where the main attraction was the up and coming singer. Babe Ruth. He was accompanied, by the way, by Marjorie Ol- son, who is planning a wedding in the early spring. Her fiance is the Mayor of New York. Duiing our stay in New York we attended the Metro- politan Opera because we had learned from proper author- ity that Jan Vinal and Ray Crosby were starring in the leading roles. On our way to Wash- ington we were attracted by an odd looking individual watching u s closely. W e thought at first it was Sher- lock Holmes come to life, but upon closer view found it to be Harry Hales who told us he was working for the FBI and was looking for the mad lawyfc- r, Kay Kramer, who had escaped the asylum. Remember LaVerne Derryberry? Her seldom heard voice has now started her on the road to success. She just won a hog-calling contest in Sleepy Hollow, Kentucky. After practicing for lo these many years, Barney Google Poston has finally connected with the fur-lined spitton at fifty paces. Liz Barnes, after all these years of hitch-hiking, fi nally reached the Georgia State line only to find that a fifteen year residence law is now required before mar- riage in that state. Liz is said to have commented, Well, I forgot my man anyway. Jim Robinson is resigning from his position as bas- ketball star to become governor of Georgia while Georgy Jones is doing a thriving business at his hotel up in Lake Plastered, New York. r In one of the more desolate parts of Florida we came upon a small shack; a small group was gathered on the porch. A closer examination proved it to be Lutie Aren- dell, (Ace Loafer), who was teaching his children how to make an A in Political Sciencs from Mr. Duncan. Bill Howell, the well-known hobo whose face is so of- ten seen in the station of the F. E. C. Railroad, has mad an even bigger name for himself. Last week he became the first person to pick up the ten millionth cigarette butt in Florida. While diiving through West Palm Beach, we caught a glimpse of Nannette Rapport (who is looking for a cure for insomnia) now featured as senior bed tester at Don Walton ' s Nu Downy-Bed Sleep Shoppe. Bob Pratt, who long aspired to success as an archi- tect, got somewhat sidetracked and has recently been dec- orating all the local nightclubs. Oh yes, Marchal Caldwell, who worked for the U. S. x- - Post Office for so long now has his Dirty Mutt ' s Pony Express over in the darker part of town. Returning to the place of our younger days, we found that Helen Kalil has just re- ceived her Doctor ' s degree in Bridge-ol ogy. She Ts nov employed as Chief Kibitzer at the SUB of Palm Beach Junior College. Did you hear the terrible thing that happened to Kent Atwater? He entered a swimming meet, was last seen swimming in the back-stroke event, and hasn ' t been heard from since. Walter Brown who last saw Kent on earth reported he had been in fine spirits. ' ' While in Palm Beach, we stayed at the Hotel De- luxe owned by Mr. and Mrs. Howard Wolfe. The hotel has sixty rooms and six baths and has run the Breakers out of business. After leaving Florida we went to California. In Hol- lywood we were most astounded to hear that Barbar;i Widell is the 20th Century Wolves highest paid screen star. After inviting us to her Beverly Hill ' s home (with a private swimming pool) she took us on a tour of the studio. While on our tour of the studio, we heard the fa- miliar drums of the famous Wick and learned that he is the leader of two bands ' . While walking in down town Los Angeles we heard a blood curdling yell! Dashing madly into the building from which the noise came we almost collided with Tom An- derton and Tom Kobayashi who were in dentistry and
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