Pacific University - Heart of Oak Yearbook (Forest Grove, OR)

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1931 8 One hundred twenty-five

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tMf I FORCE OF HABIT May I take your picture? said the photographer to the telephone operator, who was out horseback riding. Yes, said the voice with the smile, while she tried to wheel her steed into line. But hold the line a minute while I adjust the plug. Hummel: If you could have two wishes come true, what would you wish for? K. Caldwell: Well, I ' d wish for a husband. Hummel that ' s only one. K. Caldwell: I ' d save the other wish until I saw how he turned out. Customer: Can you match this piece of ribbon? Shop Assistant: Unfortunately we cannot, madam. It was one of the matchless bargains we offered last week. Dean Winger: What ' s the most common impediment in the speech of American people? Walker: Chewing-gum! A Congressman ' s Prayer: And, dear Lord, please show me the ways and means of devising new laws that I can break, also original and unheard of ideas with which I can annoy the President. God bless these United States. Amen. Garage Man What did you pay for this car? Bates : Well, as a matter of fact, a friend gave it to me. Garage Man: M-m; you ' ve been swindled. • • Pat: And how did you find the weather in California? Gail : Oh, easy ! Just outside the hotel. • • • Hey, wallflower, why don ' t you dance instead of standing around like a wooden dummy? I ' m not a wooden dummy, I ' m only a little bored. Telegram: Impossible to come. Big washout on the line. Sorry. Telegram (in reply) : Wear any old clothes. Only an informal af- fair. Come sure. Pity the fellow who lost all his friends and had nothing but rela- tives left. Cop: Move that car along. Gert McCoy: Don ' t get fresh: I ' m a Kappa Delta. Cop: I don ' t care if you are a whole peninsula. Move that wreck! • Doc. Price: You have to watch your step in my class. S. Smith: What ' s the matter? Is the flooring loose? I One hundred twenty-four

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1931 I The amateur gardener was show- ing the beauties of his greenhouse. This, he said, pointing to a flower, belongs to the petunia fam- ily. Asher: Does it? I suppose you are minding it while they ' re away. Of Chemistry my knowledge Is but a hollow shell : I too kthe course at college. But only learned one smell. — Stoddard King. Art C. (coming back to camp on a deer hunting trip) : Say, are all the boys in? John Walker: Yes, why? Art C: Then I ' ve just shot a deer. In a school situated in one of the suburbs there was a slight disturb- ance one day among the smaller pupils. A small boy had slapped a little girl. The teacher was quick to rebuke the youngster. Jackson, she said, no gentle- man would strike a lady. The boy was all ready with his reply: Well, no lady would tickle WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG Teacher: Tommy, why do you spell bank with a large B ? Tom Wells: ' Cause pa said that a bank was no good unless it had a large capital. • • Sunday School Teacher: And who was Esau? John Kallak: The guy who was the author of a book of fables but went an ' sold his copyright fer a bottle o ' potash! • Mother, said little Bob Grandy, after coming from a walk, I ' ve seen a man who makes horses. Are you sure? asked his mother. Yes, he replied. He had a horse nearly finished when I saw him; he was just nailing on his back feet. • Frank: There ' s been something trembling on my lips for months and months, dear, and — Betsey: Yes, I know. Why don ' t you shave it off? • And there was once a Scotch student who released a captive bal- loon at the home-coming game. 7 One hundred tv enty-six